How did you do it ...

Danny&Mel2003

How did you leave your parents house? I'm feeling absolutely guilty of leaving my dad to live with FI.

To top it off we will be living with his mom for 3 -6 months until we can get our own house. We've agreed to buying a house, why pay rent when you can pay mortgage and own your home.

But now with the wedding under a year away the realization of leaving my dad is making me sad.

So please tell me how did you cope with leaving the parents house? And is this normal?

Knottie1450123632

yes normal absolutely.  how to handle leaving im not sure. i pretty much left and lived on my own since 23.  i wasnt engaged when i left.  i just moved out. 

mymissingpuzzlepiece

I have no idea how we are going to do it... but we are staying with them for 2 years after the wedding so that we can save to buy a house. We are so lucky to have parents like ours that are letting us live with them for no cost at all, but I can't imagine how hard it is going to be to leave them. We are planning on moving 2 hours away too..

Danny&Mel2003

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_how-did-you-do-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:4db48942-e3d4-43c2-a819-6f57717ab422Post:14350063-ef16-4998-b46e-8580596a1f87">Re: How did you do it ...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have no idea how we are going to do it... but we are staying with them for 2 years after the wedding so that we can save to buy a house. We are so lucky to have parents like ours that are letting us live with them for no cost at all, but I can't imagine how hard it is going to be to leave them. We are planning on moving 2 hours away too..
Posted by mymissingpuzzlepiece[/QUOTE]

That's the thing both our parents are fine with us with them ... I love my dad but I feel like its time for me to spread my wings and go and FI's house is literally 5 min from mine so I wouldn't be going far. It would only be for 3 -6 months. Then there's the possibility were moving out of state. Everything is contingent upon FI though and his career choice. Its just hard because I'm my dads only kid right now its just us.

melb2013

My mother and I are as close as a mother and daughter could possibly be.  I'm moving in my FI this fall.  My mother is going to cry hysterically.  She's super upset that I'm leaving even though she understands why.  I love living with my mom, but I'm ready to move out.  I actually feel guilty like you do- I'm torn between wanting to stay with my mom because I love it here, and wanting desperately to be with my FI every day.  I'm going to be homesick, but my relationship with my mother needs this change.

Danny&Mel2003

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_how-did-you-do-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:4db48942-e3d4-43c2-a819-6f57717ab422Post:2f5d93c9-46de-4fff-8845-2e17f3263e6e">Re: How did you do it ...</a>:
[QUOTE]My mother and I are as close as a mother and daughter could possibly be.  I'm moving in my FI this fall.  My mother is going to cry hysterically.  She's super upset that I'm leaving even though she understands why.  I love living with my mom, but I'm ready to move out.  I actually feel guilty like you do- I'm torn between wanting to stay with my mom because I love it here, and wanting desperately to be with my FI every day.  I'm going to be homesick, but my relationship with my mother needs this change.
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

This is exactly how I'm feeling. FI is being sooo understanding he's used to flying the nest, he keeps telling me to think it over but I know this is best for us as couple. I just kind of wish it were me moving into our own apt vs his moms. I keep reminding myself its only for 3 -6 months but I feel like I'm choosing his mom over my dad. I love his mom no complaints she's amazing but I know my dad will take this hard.

bwilso5

It's hard. I officially moved my stuff out in October when we got our new apartment but I had basically been living with Matt since last April. I go back and visit once a week and when he goes out of town I go stay with mom. My mom and I are extremely close so we text and call a lot. I miss living at home but I love living with FI.

pittpoint1119

I officaly moved out a few weeks ago right before I started my new job. I am currently living with FI parents and we are buying a house which we will move in around September/October. It was hard the day I left my mom cried and that night I cried as well knowing my life was changing and I will never leave at my house again. But since then I havent really thought about it. I have gone home 2 times already to see my parents. I am busy with planning and working that I dont seem to mind being out. Fi parents have been amazing letting us stay there. It takes time, but for us wehacve been long distance pretty much our whole relationship but is it nice to come home from work and he be there.

hisbabygirl76

I left 14yrs ago. Its not easy. I wont say that I didnt sob my eyes out. When I left I was moving from New England to Florida. It was hard as hell. I will say you are going to cry and miss them and hurt and be sad. BUT you will grow and bloom and spread your wings. My son is almost of age to be on his own and it makes me so sad.

Danny&Mel2003

pittpoint1119 That is the part I look forward to as well. The last 5 yrs we have been long distance 6 to 9 months out of the year. I'm so ready to live with him and not have him leave anymore.

Annas2013

Oh lord, I'm lucky that I haven't had this happen yet.  My dad is the one that I'm closer to, so leaving him will be hard.  The good thing is that I'm moving into my apartment for school in August, and so I won't be home much, other than for 3 weeks for winter break.  Then after I move out of there for my summer subleaser to move in, there will only be 2 weeks until the wedding.  My parents will probably cry, but I'm really looking forward to living with my FI after we get married.  The only sad part is we don't know where we'll be living until after he finds out where he'll be going to PA school, so it could be anywhere from 3 to 10 hours from my parents. 

Just remember this is something everyone goes through.  And it's hard, but worth it in the end.

RebCappon

It will be weird, my mom and I have a great relationship and do a lot of stuff together. My sister left as soon as she could but I like being there.

I think I will be ok because I won't go too far and I promised my mom that whenever I move out that I will still be over a lot. We also email and text all day long so hopefully it will be ok.

SSaltzman87

I've been living on my own since I was 19 (I'm 25 now) so I guess for me it wasn't that big of a transition. For me, it was more getting used to living with a guy since I only had female roommates. I've always been fiercely independent too, so that's why it wasn't a big transition for me- my parents also live ridiculously close too. They're just a 5 minute drive down the highway from FI and I :-)

FLGatorGal88

After FI and I got engaged I lived at home for about a year... FI and I began talking and it didnt make any since for me to drive 40 mins back and forth everyday when I spent more time at FI apartment. I just ended up slowly packing my stuff and then told my dad I was moving out. He was fine with it. I do go to my dad's house every Sunday for dinner and to hang out. I am very close with my dad.

shano06

FI and I moved about three weeks ago. My mom calls all the time to check on me and make sure I dnt need anything. She calls for small things like she saw a bluebird on the porch.lol. Even though she has my dad I can tell she misses me. I miss her too but its fun being out and alone with FI. I go see my parents every Sunday and if they need me its only a 15min drive.!

worrelsj

I didn't exactly Straight up and move out, but slowly over 6 months I moved out my stuff and was spending 3 out of 7 days, then 6 out if 7 days, until I was here all the time. My mom was super sad but my dad was happy that i was growing up, lol. I usually go to their house every Thursday night for dinner and depending on the weekend we have planned, we'll stop by. We're only 15 minutes apart, so it's really not that bad. I miss my mom's cooking though!!!!

SRRL18

It was easy for me, but I only went right up the stairs lol

I look forward to buying a house and being away from my parents, but it's probably because I have 2 kids that are attatched to their grandparents and drive me crazy when they can't see them every day.