May 2013 Weddings

someone is trying to invite themself!

I am getting extremely fed up with this person ... Every time I see them they are asking if they are being invited to the wedding. I'm being put on the spot. We have a small budget and our first priority is family followed by immediate and close friends and this person is just not one of them.

We recently had a BBQ and they were being very obnoxious. I don't want to go into details but its to the point where even if we had it in the budget I would not want them there!!!

Re: someone is trying to invite themself!

  • Wow. Is this person a close relative or more extended? Since they've made a huge point about it, maybe your mom or dad could say something? Thats seriously not okay.
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  • In this case I would definitely say something. Just tell them that you are trying to just invite family members right now, and the guest list is pretty tight. If they don't understand, screw 'em. I mean, who are they to you anyway?
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  • You have every right to tell that person NO! It is not your job as the bride to make everyone feel good. It is your day and in the end you and your spouse that needs to be ok with everything

  • I would simply say " we have a very small guesl " each time they say anything. They'll get the hint eventually
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  • melb2013melb2013 member
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    edited June 2012
    I agree that each time they bring it up, just say "we are having a very small wedding".  It really doesn't matter whether you are having a small wedding or not and "small" is relative.

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  • This person is a friend and I call them that very lightly. My parents have helped us but the majority is coming from Fi and I so I dont think having them say something is really going to help. Fi says he will talk to them but I honestly don't know how much it will help.
  • Ditto PP, tell them you're having a small wedding & are unable to invite everyone you would like.  Don't even mention your budget (it's none of their business, anyway). People can be so rude. 



  • SRRL18SRRL18 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    I have a "friend" like that. We've been friends since kindergarten but through out high school we've drifted apart and I've seen her a hand full of times since then, it's the type of friendship that you say "let's get together soon" but never do. She's outright told me she expects an invitation, I wanted to at first, but I keep cutting the guest list and she won't make it on there.

    I agree with everyone else on how to handle it.
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  • Its ridiculous how many people will try to invite themselves to your wedding. A few people have done the same thing to FI and I, and we've been handling it by explaing that we're keeping the wedding very small and the guest list is limited. It seems to work farily well, although I am annoyed that I even have to deal with this. Everyone (even if they're not currently planning a wedding) should read a wedding etiquette book! Arrgh.

    Good luck!
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  • People are so rude, even if they don't take the hint now they'll get it when they don't get an invite.
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  • In Response to Re:someone is trying to invite themself!:[QUOTE]People are so rude, even if they don't take the hint now they'll get it when they don't get an invite. Posted by RebCappon[/QUOTE]

    Yes this is true but I can already see this will be an issue for some "friends" they'll be taking it offensively and I've already told Fi dont be surprised if they throw a fit or never talk with us again. Granted we only hear from them when they need something or want to come to our house for BBQ
  • Agree with all of the posts!  I don't know what it is about weddings that people feel that they need to just invite themselves and that they're entitled to an invitation.  We're dealing with the same thing and also for my sister's wedding in July.  Invitees tell my sister that they're bringing a whole group of people with them that they don't know and totally ignore that the invitation is addressed to their party of 2 or family.  Oi!
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