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May 2013 Weddings

QOTD 5/30

Do you feel like you're in 'competition' with other friends' and family members' weddings?
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Re: QOTD 5/30

  • Thanks to FI's cousin having his wedding the same day as us, I do feel it a little bit. But then I remember that his cousin and fiancee and completely different personalities and have a different style than FI and I and you really can't compare our weddings. Although I do feel a sick sense of pride in that they have to be paying double or triple what we are for similar things :-P
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    White Knot

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  • Nope! We're doing it our way! I'm quite happy & confident with the wedding we're creating

  • I dont have anyone in my family getting married or friends so I have no one to compete with. Sometimes I feel that FI's parents will feel let down or not enjoy ours as much as they did his brothers 2yrs ago. They did a traditional big wedding and had the full catholic mass and what not. A church was never even an option for us and I know that doesnt go over well with them. But I figure as long as in the end FI and I are husband and wife I dont care.
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  • My sister is getting marrried this July and I haven't felt any competition with her.  All of us in the family have been waiting for her marriage for years and we are so happy that it is finally here!  It just so happens that I got engaged in the meantime and planned the wedding the following year.  We've been really happy about overlapping our wedding planning time.  I'm her MOH and she's mine :-)
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  • At times yes with my cousin who is getting married in 2 weeks. She has hid everything from me on planning ever since I got engaged. But I think mostly it is friends who are planning theres. Weird, but I had a friend who got married and I was at her wedding and she told me what she thinks would be tacky if I did it.. aka some of the things I am doing. Believe me I am staying away from tacky, but she just wishes her wedding could have been more since hers was planned so fast
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  • that sounds great jmc, I can't wait for my sisters to get married someday :)

    My FI younger brother got married last september and of course it keeps getting compared to ours in his family. The part that bothers me the most is that the brother treats his family (including his wife) like crap most of the time but somehow is still the most awesome guy while my FI bends over backwards for his family and gets put down constantly by them. I don't get it, but I am going to do my best to have an awesome wedding and spend less than they did. (money is a HUGE deal to FI family for some stupid reason)
    Wow I sound like a You Know What. Don't worry, our wedding will be just what we want it and not a "show" for others, but that is how I feel..
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  • My Fi brother proposed to his gf this past Dec they don't have anything set in stone, his cousin is engaged too but I don't feel like I'm in competition. Sometimes I think there insane with ideas they've thrown around but to each their own. I've given them the only advice I can what they do with it is there business.
  • I don't really feel that way, but I think my FI does a little. He's not competing with any wedding specificially, but he wants things to be unique and fun so that everyone will remember it and it won't be 'just another wedding.' He's more so into the big things- our reception venue, the photobooth- though, not with smaller decor stuff.
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  • I'm the first one of my cousins (and out of my sister and I) to get engaged so there isn't really anyone to compete with.  None of the people I went/go to school with are getting married anywhere near our date either.  I'm okay with that.  
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  • lalanslalans member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Not really, but for some things I don't want it to be like my sisters...like color of bridesmaid dresses (she had black, which I liked but I don't want mine to be the same).   Some things she did I really liked though and am going to copy...like instead of having a bouquet toss have a longest couples dance...I think my grandparents will win it again since FI only has 1 grandparent remaining.
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  • SRRL18SRRL18 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    Other than what I posted in my rant this morning no.

    I do however feel that FI is in competition with weddings in general. He wants this big lavish affair, which I'm not too keen on, but as long as he gives me my wants I'm happy. I feel like he's trying to proove something with our wedding.
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  • In Response to Re: QOTD 5/30:
    [QUOTE]that sounds great jmc, I can't wait for my sisters to get married someday :) My FI younger brother got married last september and of course it keeps getting compared to ours in his family. The part that bothers me the most is that the brother treats his family (including his wife) like crap most of the time but somehow is still the most awesome guy while my FI bends over backwards for his family and gets put down constantly by them. I don't get it, but I am going to do my best to have an awesome wedding and spend less than they did. (money is a HUGE deal to FI family for some stupid reason) Wow I sound like a You Know What. Don't worry, our wedding will be just what we want it and not a "show" for others, but that is how I feel..
    Posted by turtleslove[/QUOTE]

    I'm with you.  My fiance's family's culture is all about having huge, extravagant weddings.  His sister is going to spend a ridiculous amount of money having this huge, over the top, wedding.  I never wanted something like this.  Fi's parents were willing to pay for our wedding, but only if it was this huge show and completely Indian and where they live, which is 5 hours away from us.  That's not what we wanted, so we refused their money.
    But to answer the question, I do get jealous of my FSIL's wedding.  I'm not jealous of the money she's spending or the type of wedding she's having, but I am upset that my FI's family will like her wedding more because it's what they are used to.  On the other hand, I would never spend tons of money to please them if my FI and I would hate it at the end of the day.  We will love our wedding and my family and our friends will love it too.

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  • My best friend is getting married two weeks before me and, while I try not to, it's hard not to feel a little competitive with them being so close together. It's not that I want a "better" wedding, I just want a memorable one for all of our guests. It seems that every time I have an idea, she has the same one. Lol. Maybe it's because we set our date months before her and her FI and they originally wanted a fall wedding. I also think FI feels competitive with his brothers wedding 2 summers ago. They had a big country club wedding and his parents gave them a lot of money towards it, with her parents paying the rest. We are paying for everything ourselves and I think he feels like we have something to prove to his family as well as our guests that attended his brothers wedding.
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  • Not at all. I only have a few friends getting married this summer and they're all doing things their way and we're doing it ours.
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