May 2013 Weddings

Need a little advice

So I invited my niece and her Fi to my wedding. They have an 8 month old baby who will be a little over a 1 yr by time my wedding comes. Fi and I decided a while ago we didn't want babies at the reception. The only children coming are over age of 10 and family there are 5. If the baby was 10 would be different story but Fi and I made this agreement. We also told his cousin they couldn't bring there 3 and 4 yr old. Well I tried to call my niece to talk with her about she recently receive the std in the mail an took pic of her with baby holding std saying we can't wait! While its cute I want to tell her before she buys plane tix and hotel that the baby can't come. I tried to call two days ago and got her voicemail. So I sent her fb message to call me I wanted to talk with her about something. She responded cell service is bad from sandy she lives up North. Well I still haven't heard from her. My question is would it be bad to tell her through fb that we aren't having babies or should I still try get ahold of her? Rumor has it she had said if she can't bring baby she won't come period. My birth mother lives about 20 min from her I know she would do it but I don't want throw her in the middle. Thanks for advice ladies!

Re: Need a little advice

  • I'd wait until A. she asks or B. she rsvps for the baby.  If she books everything before the official invite, that's her problem.

    May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations

    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-a-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bf8e265d-1b24-4931-8d7e-106d12a675c0Post:ce3907fe-7b71-4093-a369-8fa968b4f6dc">Re: Need a little advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd wait until A. she asks or B. she rsvps for the baby.  If she books everything before the official invite, that's her problem.
    Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]
    This.
    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Money Saving Tips"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt17ce82.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0"  /></a>

    White Knot

    Planning Bio-Added FOR SALE page, will be adding more stuff to it soon! 
  • I agree with PP...
    May 2013 January Siggy Challenge:The Cake!!!
    cake4
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I'd say you should talk to her- try a phone call one more time first before telling her on FB though. A decent number parents, especially first time parents, assume that their kid is always invited where they are and even more so at a young age. I can understand them not wanting to leave their one year old a plane flight away for a wedding too. It's only fair to tell them now.  Part of the reason people use STDs is so guests have time to make travel arrangements before the invites come in 6-10 weeks ahead of the wedding.

    We also left kids of the STDs, but I'm not sure everyone got the memo on that. Pretty sure we're going to have issues with FI's family, but I'm going to make him deal with it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I agree with rswans. If she hasn't been informed that you guys don't want babies there, she is going to assume you don't mind. It would suck for them to get travel plans and not be able to find a sitter or feel uncomfortable leaving the baby. I would let her know any way you can.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-a-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bf8e265d-1b24-4931-8d7e-106d12a675c0Post:3e05cfad-3974-47d5-8f81-184b2ce0adbc">Re: Need a little advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with rswans. If she hasn't been informed that you guys don't want babies there, she is going to assume you don't mind. It would suck for them to get travel plans and not be able to find a sitter or feel uncomfortable leaving the baby. I would let her know any way you can.
    Posted by TogetherPerfect[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this
    Trying to conceive #1 since January 2013
    My Ovulation Chart
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-a-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bf8e265d-1b24-4931-8d7e-106d12a675c0Post:3e05cfad-3974-47d5-8f81-184b2ce0adbc">Re: Need a little advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with rswans. If she hasn't been informed that you guys don't want babies there, she is going to assume you don't mind. It would suck for them to get travel plans and not be able to find a sitter or feel uncomfortable leaving the baby. I would let her know any way you can.
    Posted by TogetherPerfect[/QUOTE]

    This. I would try everything you can to discuss this over the phone, since it's likely going to be a sensitive subject... But ultimately, if FB is the only way to notify her, then just be careful with your words... But definitely let her know now - don't wait.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    May 2013 - January - Cake Inspiration!
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-a-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bf8e265d-1b24-4931-8d7e-106d12a675c0Post:3e05cfad-3974-47d5-8f81-184b2ce0adbc">Re: Need a little advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with rswans. If she hasn't been informed that you guys don't want babies there, she is going to assume you don't mind. It would suck for them to get travel plans and not be able to find a sitter or feel uncomfortable leaving the baby. I would let her know any way you can.
    Posted by TogetherPerfect[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>She was informed.  The baby's name was not on the std and will not be on the invite.  This is how you inform people who is invited and not invited.  

    </div>

    May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations

    image

    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • I agree with Mel. If you didn't include the baby's name on the STD then they shouldn't really be assuming the baby is invited to begin with. 

    Did you leave her a message when you got her voice mail? If so, I would just wait for her to call you back. If not, then I'd give her another call to discuss. 



  • At least where I'm from, there were a lot of people who didn't even know what the point of a std was. One person even asked "Does this mean we're invited?" lol So to give her the benefit of the doubt, she may not understand std etiquette.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-a-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bf8e265d-1b24-4931-8d7e-106d12a675c0Post:c4abd09a-ba63-4df3-bf54-48cd5c2a7228">Re: Need a little advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I agree with Mel. If you didn't include the baby's name on the STD then they shouldn't really be assuming the baby is invited to begin with.</strong>  Did you leave her a message when you got her voice mail? If so, I would just wait for her to call you back. If not, then I'd give her another call to discuss. 
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this but in the world we live in, some people think they can bring x,y and z with them when the STD or invitation is sent to a & b. I'm sure we will all be having discussions closer to our wedding date about how so and so rsvp'd for 6 people when 3 were invited. Some people are just like that.</div><div>
    </div><div>I would call her again and leave a message saying you want to discuss the wedding date with her and go from there.</div>
    May 2013 January Siggy Challenge
    Cake
    image
    my read shelf:
    Becky's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-a-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bf8e265d-1b24-4931-8d7e-106d12a675c0Post:6ad80a33-c7d4-4fb8-92d7-8debcaab3aef">Re: Need a little advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need a little advice : She was informed.  The baby's name was not on the std and will not be on the invite.  This is how you inform people who is invited and not invited.  
    Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

    <div>Exactly. </div>



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-a-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bf8e265d-1b24-4931-8d7e-106d12a675c0Post:fc32670a-b1ee-4214-a195-d1feb790f385">Re: Need a little advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need a little advice : I agree with this but in the world we live in, some people think they can bring x,y and z with them when the STD or invitation is sent to a & b. <strong>I'm sure we will all be having discussions closer to our wedding date about how so and so rsvp'd for 6 people when 3 were invited.</strong> Some people are just like that. I would call her again and leave a message saying you want to discuss the wedding date with her and go from there.
    Posted by RebCappon[/QUOTE]

    <div>Most likely, yes. But since invitations haven't gone out yet I don't think OP should necessarily assume that they plan to bring their daughter unless they try to RSVP for 3. Obviously, if they RSVP for 3, OP has every right to call the couple and explain that they aren't having children and she hopes they understand. </div><div>
    </div><div>I'd be here all day if I called all the people on my guest list with a child that's not invited to my wedding just in case they assumed otherwise. </div>



  • I will call her and let her know especially since she will be traveling so she can make arrangements. I have a lot of kids in my family and everybody knows that is only an adult reception and 13 and up will be invited. My biggest pet peeve is kids running around my first dance ahhh thats a big NO lol
  • Thanks for every one's responses ... I sent her a message to call me through FB she says she will after her doc appt tonight.


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-a-little-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:bf8e265d-1b24-4931-8d7e-106d12a675c0Post:fc32670a-b1ee-4214-a195-d1feb790f385">Re: Need a little advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Need a little advice :<strong> I agree with this but in the world we live in, some people think they can bring x,y and z with them when the STD or invitation is sent to a & b</strong>. I'm sure we will all be having discussions closer to our wedding date about how so and so rsvp'd for 6 people when 3 were invited. Some people are just like that. I would call her again and leave a message saying you want to discuss the wedding date with her and go from there.
    Posted by RebCappon[/QUOTE]

    The thing is there coming from out of town which means flights and hotels and since the last message with the save the date said we can't wait I just want to let her know now instead of hearing later on we booked nonrefundable etc.

    I also don't have many friends with young babies so I'm not to concerned on this issue more on the hey let's all have dates when they don't lol but most of my guest is local so I'll worry about that when invites go out!

    Thanks again ladies!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards