Need help growing a back bone

Tarren89

Ok, I have a friend who I have known for a little over a year. We aren't exactly close, but she is my MOH close friend and she assumes we are. Well when I got engaged and I asked my friends to be my bridesmaids, she was quite upset for not being on the list. So she is playing the part assuming she is, like going to the bridesmaids dress fitting, picking out "her" bridesmaids dress and choosing shoes. The whole 9 yards. I have a friend I have been close with for 9 years and I want her to be up there with me, but with "Ashley" I don't have the room. How do I tell her that I dont want her to be a bridsmaid when I have let this go on so long? And without causing drama between my MOH and her, and ultimately me?

FLGatorGal88

I don't understand why some people want to be in the wedding party so bad... I would just talk about it face to face over lunch. Just tell her that you know how she wants to be in your wedding party but you already have your MOH and bridesmaids picked out but I would also add that you would love for her to be a guest at your wedding instead. Hopefully she will understand and support you no matter what. GL

SSaltzman87

I'd say that you have your BP picked out (which is true), and not beat around the bush by saying you're still thinking about it. I think unfortunately in this situation, there is no 'nice way' to say to someone that they're not in your WP. I'd also refrain from filling her in on wedding stuff, therefore she doesn't think she has a role.

ChefBride524

Based on what you've written, there is no further conversation required.

You chose your BP.
You didn't ask her.
She was aware she wasn't asked.
Apparently so aware, she expressed disappointment.

So continue on with planning. If she brings up something like for example: "When do I order my dress?" all you have to do is out on a calm puzzled expression and say "Only the BMs order the dresses. Why would you order one?"

Unless there's something you're not telling us? Did you at any point tell her you'd "consider" it? And why was she invited to the dress fitting in the first place?

mymissingpuzzlepiece

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-help-growing-a-back-bone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:d6426499-258d-4886-8887-e50a59d8e8faPost:b8a0f3c5-3cc4-418a-8bc1-3381ec2a15e8">Re: Need help growing a back bone</a>:
[QUOTE]Based on what you've written, there is no further conversation required. You chose your BP. You didn't ask her. She was aware she wasn't asked. Apparently so aware, she expressed disappointment. So continue on with planning. If she brings up something like for example: "When do I order my dress?" all you have to do is out on a calm puzzled expression and say "Only the BMs order the dresses. Why would you order one?" Unless there's something you're not telling us? Did you at any point tell her you'd "consider" it? And why was she invited to the dress fitting in the first place?
Posted by ChefBride524[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

RebCappon

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_need-help-growing-a-back-bone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:d6426499-258d-4886-8887-e50a59d8e8faPost:b8a0f3c5-3cc4-418a-8bc1-3381ec2a15e8">Re: Need help growing a back bone</a>:
[QUOTE]Based on what you've written, there is no further conversation required. You chose your BP. You didn't ask her. She was aware she wasn't asked. Apparently so aware, she expressed disappointment. So continue on with planning. If she brings up something like for example: "When do I order my dress?" all you have to do is out on a calm puzzled expression and say "Only the BMs order the dresses. Why would you order one?" Unless there's something you're not telling us? Did you at any point tell her you'd "consider" it? And why was she invited to the dress fitting in the first place?
Posted by ChefBride524[/QUOTE]


This.