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May 2013 Weddings

Paperwork, Red Tape hell ...

Hi May 2013 board mates, thanks in advance for letting me vent.  I hope you return to this post if you are getting stressed out about flowers, catering, and if the dress alterations are going well because I can't wait to get stressed out about such things! Instead, these are my main (really unfun) concerns:

A little background, I am getting married in Ireland.  In order to do this, we have to apply for a marriage license - in person - 3 months in advance of our wedding.  Plenty of time, and I am flying out tomorrow to visit my FI and we figured we would do it next week.  But I need to bring my birth certificate.  I haven't laid eyes on my birth certificate ... ever.  My mother doesn't live in state and is in the middle of moving so no hope getting through the packed boxes to get it.  Fine.  I order another one.  The City of New York loses my order and 4 phone calls where I am put on hold for 15+ minutes and 5 weeks later it comes to me.  It was supposed to take 5-7 days.  But I get it and I am getting my papers together, double checking on the Irish site which gives me all the info I need (www.soyouthoughtitwouldbeeasytogetmarriedinIreland.com) and low and behold!  I need an Apostille Stamp on a birth certificate from outside of Ireland!  Joy!  I have never heard of an Apostille Stamp but apparently this is what I need so I google that and yes, I can get one in Boston, right on Beacon Hill, no problem, I work 3 blocks from there. I will go at lunch.  Which I did, today.  I go there, eager, happy, excited, the second step to getting my marriage license only to be told by a very nice older lady, who really DID want to break the law for me and give me the stamp, that I COULD NOT get the stamp because I was born in Brooklyn, not Boston ... so apparently, this precious stamp can only be given in the State where the document is issued.  So, is there time to get haul my cookies down to lower Manhattan for this stamp? Not a chance. 

So I am leaving tomorrow for Ireland without a Stamp and no hope of registering to get married which was one of the major points of this trip.  Fine.  The other major point of this trip is to throw myself on the mercy of the Catholic Church and beg them to allow me to get married in the Cathedral without my Baptism or Confirmation Certificates.  Yes, I did both.  No, I don't have the proper certificates ... do we all see a pattern here Embarassed  I am hoping our priest gives us special dispensation or something.  Perhaps a bottle of Whiskey may help?  Is it a sin to bribe a priest?  

Here is a thought ... planning a wedding is really good in the long term for a marriage.  My FI is getting another dose of the way my life usually goes ;-)

Thanks for reading!

Re: Paperwork, Red Tape hell ...

  • I am so sorry you are going through all of this... I would have had a nervous break down right there in Boston. I hope everything works out with the church. Is there another time your going back to Ireland before those 3 months?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_paperwork-red-tape-hell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:ea9a9e19-2453-4f1c-8095-8d230ccb020dPost:0eb03fdc-c5dd-44a7-b5d5-8b0cd71e2b10">Paperwork, Red Tape hell ...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi May 2013 board mates, thanks in advance for letting me vent.  I hope you return to this post if you are getting stressed out about flowers, catering, and if the dress alterations are going well because I can't wait to get stressed out about such things! Instead, these are my main (really unfun) concerns: A little background, I am getting married in Ireland.  In order to do this, we have to apply for a marriage license - in person - 3 months in advance of our wedding.  Plenty of time, and I am flying out tomorrow to visit my FI and we figured we would do it next week.  But I need to bring my birth certificate.  I haven't laid eyes on my birth certificate ... ever.  My mother doesn't live in state and is in the middle of moving so no hope getting through the packed boxes to get it.  Fine.  I order another one.  The City of New York loses my order and 4 phone calls where I am put on hold for 15+ minutes and 5 weeks later it comes to me.  It was supposed to take 5-7 days.  But I get it and I am getting my papers together, double checking on the Irish site which gives me all the info I need ( <a href="http://www.soyouthoughtitwouldbeeasytogetmarriedinIreland.com)" rel="nofollow">www.soyouthoughtitwouldbeeasytogetmarriedinIreland.com)</a> and low and behold!  I need an Apostille Stamp on a birth certificate from outside of Ireland!  Joy!  I have never heard of an Apostille Stamp but apparently this is what I need so I google that and yes, I can get one in Boston, right on Beacon Hill, no problem, I work 3 blocks from there. I will go at lunch.  Which I did, today.  I go there, eager, happy, excited, the second step to getting my marriage license only to be told by a very nice older lady, who really DID want to break the law for me and give me the stamp, that I COULD NOT get the stamp because I was born in Brooklyn, not Boston ... so apparently, this precious stamp can only be given in the State where the document is issued.  So, is there time to get haul my cookies down to lower Manhattan for this stamp? Not a chance.  So I am leaving tomorrow for Ireland without a Stamp and no hope of registering to get married which was one of the major points of this trip.  Fine.  The other major point of this trip is to throw myself on the mercy of the Catholic Church and beg them to allow me to get married in the Cathedral without my Baptism or Confirmation Certificates.  Yes, I did both.  No, I don't have the proper certificates ... do we all see a pattern here    I am hoping our priest gives us special dispensation or something.  Perhaps a bottle of Whiskey may help?  <strong>Is it a sin to bribe a priest? </strong>  Here is a thought ... planning a wedding is really good in the long term for a marriage.  My FI is getting another dose of the way my life usually goes ;-) Thanks for reading!
    Posted by jodyellen[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>If it is, then there's an awful lot of people who have gone to Hell throughout the centuries for the same sin LOL.  I would recommend a big donation to the Church LOL JK!!!</div><div>
    </div><div>Sorry this has been such a paperwork nightmare!  What is an Apostille Stamp???

    </div>

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_paperwork-red-tape-hell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:ea9a9e19-2453-4f1c-8095-8d230ccb020dPost:81f9d5c4-7a3f-4a18-a50f-f30be07c2e1a">Re: Paperwork, Red Tape hell ...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Paperwork, Red Tape hell ... : If it is, then there's an awful lot of people who have gone to Hell throughout the centuries for the same sin LOL.  I would recommend a big donation to the Church LOL JK!!! Sorry this has been such a paperwork nightmare!  What is an Apostille Stamp???
    Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]
    Ha!  I love it! Whiskey it is then!  An Apostille Stamp allows a document from one country to be valid in another country.  It doesn't apply for all countries but most.  It is basically an international notary stamp.  The things I am learning!
  • edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_paperwork-red-tape-hell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:ea9a9e19-2453-4f1c-8095-8d230ccb020dPost:05c858f6-3e1f-4966-bf85-e89e760f3a15">Re:Paperwork, Red Tape hell...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am so sorry you are going through all of this... I would have had a nervous break down right there in Boston. I hope everything works out with the church. Is there another time your going back to Ireland before those 3 months?
    Posted by FLGatorGal88[/QUOTE]
    Thanks for your concern!  I am due to go back and spend Christmas with my FI but everything in Europe closes down for about the entire month of December so I have to plan a third trip ... actually ... this may not be such a bad thing! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />
  • SRRL18SRRL18 member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    Do you know where you had your communion and confirmation? I would tell the priest that you are in the process of getting everything together but it had taken longer than expected. He may show some mercy.

    I hope everything works out the way you want it. Good luck and enjoy your stay in Ireland!
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  • Omg that's insane it would drive me bonkers to go through all of that. I have to get my social security card I seemed to have lost that I did however find my birth certificate lol. Good luck with everything.
  • MrsItsTrickyMrsItsTricky member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited May 2012
    I am sorry you have to do all this. But I hope this helps you. Our priest told us he couldn't use our copies of baptism, etc certificates. We had to contact the church we got baptized and they would have our certificates from all our sacraments. They would send it to our priest with a wax seal.
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  • Wow what a pain! That really sucks! Any way that you can get in contact with the priest in Ireland to let him know what's going on?
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  • In Response to Re: Paperwork, Red Tape hell ...:

    Hi There! I too am planning a wedding in Ireland for April 2013, and have been doing some research. I am in the same spot you are now, but I have some good advice!

    First to addresss the apostille stamp and registration :)

    I am going to get the apostille stamp this weekend in my home state luckily its only a 4 hour drive for me but phew! I'm glad I read some fine print. I have been working the registrar in County Limerick.

    You can call the registrar in the locale you're getting married and let them know you are overseas. They will let you submit about 90 perecent of your application through email and snail mail, as long as you are present 5 working days before your wedding to show the original documentation. I can show you the forms they forwarded me. Just call and ask permission, they should work with you. You can send a copy of the apostille stamp etc...

    Second, I am doing a Catholic Church wedding too and need the same paperwork, I am marrying a non-Catholic, he needs a dispensation for that, however for my baptism and confirmation certificates I called the parishes where those occurred and they sent them for free. My local priest told me that a recent copy is needed any way because it serves also as your Freedom to Marry form. It will say on the back of a newly issued baptismal certificate if you have been married before.

    I hope this information helps. Perhaps you have information on a couple things.

    Once the marriage is registered in Ireland and a certificate is had, do we need to get an IRISH Apostille stamp on that for US recognition? Also since we sign an intent to marry AT the Irish registrar is it necessary for us to get one from a US embassy as well. All the information on the internet is soo confusing.
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