would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle?

areneepayne

I told my bridesmaids my color and let them pick whatever dress they wanted. Which was a mistake, lets just say different fabrics and lengths...cotton and silk. I just figured if they do their hair the same way then they could look somewhat similar. My maid of honor, which is my sister at first was going to do her hair exactly like mine in every way. My sister and my mom didn't think their was no problem with her having the same hairstyle as mine. I want to look completely different than my sister on my wedding day but my family just couldn't understand why.When I sent my sister a picture of a beautiful hairstyle that was different than mine but pretty, she blew up on me and told me that she didn't understand why I was trying to make her look like the other bridesmaid (my sister-inlaw), and that she couldn't understand why I wouldn't let her have the hairstyle she would be happy with.  My mom told me I should be ashame of myself. Am I being a bridezilla? Or is it understandable to have my sister do a completely different hairstyle than me? Would you tell your bridesmaids how to wear their hair if you already let them choose their dress and shoes?

mdktmk

I'm sorry but I have to agree with areneepayne. I wouldn't want the same hair style as my MOH or bridesmaid. 

rebeksmith10

I agree with areneepayne. I actually had a similar situation: I told my girls that I wanted all their hair to be in a low-ponytail with curls but how they wanted their curls was up to them: loose, tight, ect. My maid of honor told me that her hair HAD to be in an up-do (which is completely opposite of what I wanted). I told her no and that she needed to look similar to the other girls and not completely stand-out, that is my job as the bride. It was a battle back and forth for a few days and she would not budge and neither would I. She finally quit and told me that if I was not going to let her have her hair how she wanted it, she was not going to be in the wedding. So I let her quit. Yes, our friendship is no more BUT I will be happier on my wedding day because my girls will look similar and I will stand out.

I do not think you are being a bridezilla at all, you let them choose their dresses! They are lucky for that!.

karulyne

If you have preferences I think its fine to mention that to your bridesmaids but if they're not comfortable wearing their hair that way its a bit much to try to force them. In the end it is not going to matter, your relationships with these folks should be more important than their hair. People are not going to leave your wedding thinking 'what a shame, those girls had different hairstyles!'

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_hair-411-pantene_would-you-make-your-bridesmaids-wear-the-same-hairstyle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:f05386ae-e822-4076-916f-0d897a736679Discussion:f4f7974a-41a7-4be7-99ee-084ab5a5d794Post:3b2ad41c-4823-42fd-84a7-a954af8cebf6">Re: would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with areneepayne. I actually had a similar situation: I told my girls that I wanted all their hair to be in a low-ponytail with curls but how they wanted their curls was up to them: loose, tight, ect. My maid of honor told me that her hair HAD to be in an up-do (which is completely opposite of what I wanted). I told her no and that she needed to look similar to the other girls and not completely stand-out, that is my job as the bride. It was a battle back and forth for a few days and she would not budge and neither would I. <strong>She finally quit and told me that if I was not going to let her have her hair how she wanted it, she was not going to be in the wedding. So I let her quit. Yes, our friendship is no more BUT I will be happier on my wedding day because my girls will look similar and I will stand ou</strong>t. I do not think you are being a bridezilla at all, you let them choose their dresses! They are lucky for that!.
Posted by rebeksmith10[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Are you joking? The big white dress isn't enough to stand out so you trashed a long time friend over a hair style?  SHE came out the winner on that one if that is how you see your wedding and your friends.  </div><div>
</div><div>That is just repulsive.

</div>

SeptemberLadie

Personally, I feel slightly different then the rest of the posts. You are the bride, what you say goes. You should look completely different from your bridesmaids and they should understand that because it is your day. On the other hand, I am letting my bridesmaids choose their own hairstyle to fit their personality. My ladies know not to pick the same hairstyle as me because you shouldn't look the bride unless she says otherwise. See if there is a similar hairstyle to yours but not identical and offer that to her. 

jennywawa88

In Response to would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle?:

I think you have to find a happy medium. On the one hand, its your day and you should have it however you want it, but on the other hand, it is their hair. Imagine if you were going to be in a freind's wedding and she comes out with some awful hair contraption of some kind that leaves you looking like a swamp-water logged pigeon or what-have-you. (Not that you are tryiing to do some such thing to YOUR wedding party, I'm just trying to paint a picture of how it feels to be on the opposite side of the diamond ring, if you will.) There has to be some agreeing in the middle ground I think. Thats how I've done it. For instance, my MOH is a very tom-boyish, sporty girl, who HATES curls. She wants to wear her hair down with nothing in it and have it straightened. I'm letting her do that.
My 1st bride's maid wants to wear her hair down with nothing in it too, just because she likes it, and thats fine.
My last bride's maid on the other hand is a WAY over-the-top diva typ who wanted to put her hair up with this big hot pink satin ribbon that litterally measured like 7 inches across...It was crazy. I had to tell her, I love you, but that is just a little too wild looking for my wedding.
I am having a very simple, traidional chapel wedding, so you can imagine this giant hot pink bow busting off her head...Yeah, not working. But I know her love for the eccentric, so I compromised and told her that if she wanted to put a hot pink flower in her hair, that would be ok. So we agreed to compromise and I am letting her pull on side of her air back with a small hot pink lily. She's happy, I'm happy, the wedding looks beautiful.

ellebelley

I am paying for my bridesmaids to get their hair done and I told them what they are having done.  Like another PP said- You're the bride.

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_hair-411-pantene_would-you-make-your-bridesmaids-wear-the-same-hairstyle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:f05386ae-e822-4076-916f-0d897a736679Discussion:f4f7974a-41a7-4be7-99ee-084ab5a5d794Post:6f035ddc-028f-4bef-ae00-8c32c709f4ed">Re: would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am paying for my bridesmaids to get their hair done and I told them what they are having done.  Like another PP said- You're the bride.
Posted by ellebelley[/QUOTE]

and you're the zilla too.  I'm sorry but I find that kind of attitude "I"m the bride and you'll do as I say" to be very sad and in very poor taste.

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_hair-411-pantene_would-you-make-your-bridesmaids-wear-the-same-hairstyle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:f05386ae-e822-4076-916f-0d897a736679Discussion:f4f7974a-41a7-4be7-99ee-084ab5a5d794Post:6f035ddc-028f-4bef-ae00-8c32c709f4ed">Re: would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am paying for my bridesmaids to get their hair done and I told them what they are having done.  Like another PP said- You're the bride.
Posted by ellebelley[/QUOTE]

hahaha, I don't think I'd be a bridesmaid anymore if I was told what I was having done.  I don't care if you paid for it or not.

iloveu4ever

I am having free reins on my bridesmaids. I am letting them choose their dresses but I am asking them how they want their hair.

ellebelley

That is absolutely fine if they choose not to be a part of the wedding party. In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_hair-411-pantene_would-you-make-your-bridesmaids-wear-the-same-hairstyle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:f05386ae-e822-4076-916f-0d897a736679Discussion:f4f7974a-41a7-4be7-99ee-084ab5a5d794Post:dd7a4277-d3c4-4072-b8cc-ccf40bf69854">Re: would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle? : hahaha, I don't think I'd be a bridesmaid anymore if I was told what I was having done.  I don't care if you paid for it or not.
Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

ellebelley

You are entitled to your own opinion :) In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_hair-411-pantene_would-you-make-your-bridesmaids-wear-the-same-hairstyle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:f05386ae-e822-4076-916f-0d897a736679Discussion:f4f7974a-41a7-4be7-99ee-084ab5a5d794Post:0555264b-8451-4980-9003-a3b740c55d12">Re: would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle? : and you're the zilla too.  I'm sorry but I find that kind of attitude "I"m the bride and you'll do as I say" to be very sad and in very poor taste.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

RunDog

I don't think she's being a bridezilla about it at all. It's her wedding, and it's her photographs that she's paying for and will have for the rest of her life. It's not like she's asking them to remove any tatoos or cut their hair. It's just one freaking day! I asked my sister the same thing, to find a hairstyle that was a little different from mine. I'm letting my bridesmaids pick their own style as long as they let the hairdresser do it (which I'm paying for) and as long as it doesn't look too close to mine.

SarahAnn2

I think it's fine to want her to have a different hairstyle than you. I don't think you're micromanaging. It's not as if you are forcing her into a hairstyle she doesn't like. You are simply saying, "You can do any other hairstyle in the world except one." 

MandyLovesMarc

Wow. I'm sorry, but that's absolutely bridezilla.  First, to the OP, no, it's not reasonable to tell your BMs that they all have to have the same style.  For the record, if I were at a wedding, I would notice it, but not for a positive reason.  I would note how controlling the bride must have been.

For the PP who ended a long running friendship over hairstyles, are you kidding?  That's shallow.  I agree with the poster who said that she won in the end to spare herself from a friend who behaves like that.  Wow. 

melrosinko

Here are some really cute styles for bridesmaids, whether you let them do their own thing or have them all wear the same style. 

http://mybestfriendshair.com/blog/2012/06/20/bridesmaid-hairstyles/

kmmssg

melrosinko - you are a vendor. all of your posts are for this website.  reported.

cronin85

I would let her choose her own hair style but definitely not the same as the bride. Thats crazy she would even want to do that! shame on her!

melrosinko

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_hair-411-pantene_would-you-make-your-bridesmaids-wear-the-same-hairstyle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:f05386ae-e822-4076-916f-0d897a736679Discussion:f4f7974a-41a7-4be7-99ee-084ab5a5d794Post:8dba7b44-9606-4806-bf11-baf822b20d99">Re: would you make your bridesmaids wear the same hairstyle?</a>:
[QUOTE]melrosinko - you are a vendor. all of your posts are for this website.  reported.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm actually not a vendor. Thought I was being helpful. Sorry you thought otherwise. </div>

jasmahenry

I think has a friend you would be understanding to the fact that your friend the bride would like you to wear your hair a certain way. Now I am not saying to shave your hair off or anything but the bride is stressed enough instead of dealing hair issues

kmmssg

If a bride is stressed over BM hair, she is worrying about the wrong thing.