Bridal Shower Drama :(

mandi921vh

Originally my MOH offered to throw me a bridal shower. She was in conversations with my mom and sister (also BM) as well as the other BMs about planning, and asked me for a guest list and if I had preference for where it was going to be.

After she blew up at me and 2 of my other BMs saying she is overwhelmed (she is also MOH in one of my BMs wedding and me and my other BM are in her wedding as well, her wedding is 7 weeks after mine) planning all of our parties because of her chronic back pain. 

I was okay with her not being involved. Then my sister kept asking me what's up with MOH because she was no longer answering her phone calls, texts, or fb msgs. I told her that she has been really sick. I felt like it wasn't my place to say MOH wasn't going to plan the parties anymore. I assumed she would let everyone know...

Last night MOH texted me asking me to explain what's going on with her back issue to my sister, because MOH said she told my sister she wouldn't be able to plan, but if my sister had any questions to let MOH know. My sister kept asking MOH to meet up to plan. I told MOH to try telling my sister that she won't be apart of the planning? I felt really weird because again, I shouldn't be involved.

Then today my sister jokingly said I need to get a new MOH. I asked why? She said that she has been trying to get ahold of MOH and she won't respond. I said well she has been really sick... my sister then said she felt like MOH was acting bitchy and said didn't Mandi tell you that I can't plan anymore? My mom was able to fill in my sister on MOH's back problems but my mom and sister were confused because MOH said she couldn't plan due to her back issue, but they both saw pictures on fb of her out and about at the beach... 

I just feel really weird and icky... nobody should be involving me in this drama, but at the same time I can understand where my mom and sister are coming from... she says she can't plan a party along with the other BMs because of her back issue, yet she is out at the beach...

What do I do?

COSmitty

First off as someone who dealt with crohnic pain... what you show external (facebook, christmas letters, etc) is very different than how you feel many times. If she is confiding in you and you know her well trust her she's telling the truth. 

Also for some going to the beach is a relaxing outdoor activity that does not involve exertion or even interacting with anyone else.

Now unless she put up shots of her playing beach volleyball just trust it was an outing to get out and relax. 

Second whe you are in pain dealing with other people can be very draining- above an beyond normal interactions should be. Personally I like being around people but not directly interacting with them when in that state. So calling people, making decisions, etc might just be too much but sitting on the beach reading a book staring at the waves might be okay.

This is one case where the bride CAN step in and simply say- hey sis... sorry friend X has dropped off the map. She needs some down time. No pressure- you don't have to do anything but if you and Mom want to host a bridal shower- thank you.

For my shower I did the guest list, picked the tentative date- checked that date with the 4 parties that needed to be on board, introduced everyone to what was going on, validated the guest list again and then let them plan. I promise you won't get struck by lighting ;-)

AurorasEnvy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_bridal-shower-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:00a4f7a2-d1de-4bdf-8d2a-962a04483e8fPost:7809bbb3-e609-491a-ba51-36e41a53e6df">Re: Bridal Shower Drama :(</a>:
[QUOTE]This is one case where the bride CAN step in and simply say- hey sis... sorry friend X has dropped off the map. She needs some down time. No pressure- you don't have to do anything but if you and Mom want to host a bridal shower- thank you. 
Posted by COSmitty[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  Sorry to hear they are putting you in the middle of it, but I leave it at this.</div>