Shower Guest List Help

mandi921vh

My MOH is throwing me a shower. She has asked for a guest list. FMIL told FI who told me that she would like to come, as well as her MIL (FI's grandmother) and her SIL (FI's aunt and same grandmother's daughter). All of these women are out of town (from VT). I was planning to invite all of my female family members who are all local. 

Should other women in FI's family such as his other aunt, and grandmother, and his cousin's fiance be invited as well? Because FMIL asked to come to what is mostly my family's shower (i.e. all attendants are related to me) I am assuming that there won't be another one with FI's family. Therefore should I add these other women to the list or should I ask FMIL if they should be invited?

Do you invite people to a shower even though you know they won't be coming as a nice gesture or does it look gift grabby?

TIA!

Melissa51212

I invited all my girlfriends...family and then fmil gave my mom a small list. In my areA are pretty big deal so they usually big. The only rule I know is not to invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding. Good luck!

whitandrior

All of my relatives live out of town.  We are inviting them verbally so that they don't feel pressured to fly in just for one party.  But we do want them to feel like they were thought of while inviting people.

AurorasEnvy

I'd invite who you are close to in FI's family.  I'd err on the side of inviting people who questionable in his family then not including them, I think they're more likely to be offended that they weren't invited than that they were getting an invitation.

leopardgurl831

I would talk to FMIL or someone else if you are closer to them.  I called FI's aunt and said hey my mom is throwing a shower by her house and are you OK driving and she said they would rather have one where they live and if no one steps up and throws one to let her know and they will put something together for us. 

If you aren't having a second shower I would definitely invite them to the other one and maybe some ppl will drive.

marisha115

If you're only having one shower (double check that first), I would invite family from both sides.  From what I know, family is always invited.  FI's cousin was getting married in FL (we lived in NY at the time) and even though we were only dating I was invited since I was considered family.  She knew for a fact that I wouldn't/couldn't make it.  No gift was required (checked with FI's mom).  It's just a courtesy that you extend.  Made me feel like I really was considered family

dori851

Ditto PP. If you're only having one shower, definitely invite people from FI's side of the family. I know that my FMIL & some other women on that side of the family would be offended if I didn't invite them. I don't think it looks gift grabby at all, they are your soon to be family members after all!!

bpphoto785

Ditto!!

If in doubt just invite them. It's not gift grabby at all and better to err on the side of caution so no one get offended.