Last Name Vent/Confusion

mandi921vh

Growing up I always envisioned myself wearing a zip up hoodie with "The Future Mrs. (InsertNewHusband'sLastNameHere)" on the back. 

As I got older I realized I loved my last name and could not imagine changing it ever! When we got engaged and I told FI I was keeping my last name he was a little upset I wasn't taking his last name, but he soon realized that it was my decision and he respected it. Plus he knew this because I was always vocal about keeping my last name in marriage back when we were friends. We decided to hyphenate our future children's last names with mine coming first. We began referring to our family (cats included) as the Smith-Johnsons. 

Recently I began thinking about taking FI's last name, but I am conflicted because I love mine, and I don't want to make it a middle name or a future child's middle name or anything like that. But I want to be Mrs.

Then I began thinking about hyphenating my last name.

A few days ago I asked FI if he would change his name to Smith-Johnson if I did and he said YES! I was surprised. It seems weird to me because my last name comes before his in his name if he were to hyphenate. Plus I worry about him being teased by male family and friends. But then again people won't immediately know how our last name became our last name. For all they know I took FI's hyphenated last name he received at birth.

Decisions, decisions. I figure we have plenty of time to decide the fate of our last name, and our kids will still be Smith-Johnson.

Thanks for listening to my vent, if you have any advice I would be happy to listen

toothpastechica

some of my best friends had a baby before they got enganged (long story) and he was out of the picture when the baby was born so only her name was in the birth certificate, long story short, baby's daddy came back into the picture, they got married and and are now a wonderful family of 4 (with another one on the way). What does this have to do with names? Well because baby had moms last name only, they decided that the easiet way to be identified as a family would be her last name....her husband took her last name. At first he said it was a little bit of a pain in his circle of friends and he got a bit of teasing for giving up his own last name and taking hers, but in the long run he says its not a big deal, he doesnt work at the same place so people who he hangs out with and works with dont even know that its his wifes maiden name that he took. I think the first couple months might be wierd, but after that, no one would know (or remember) the difference, no one else in the world is going to care about your or his last name as much as you do, so i think if hes willing to do that thats a fantasic compromise!!!

evenundomiel

My parents have friends who took their wives' last names! A few of them! I think it's great. In one case, the man had a very generic last nanme, whereas the wife's last name was DeBlieu....so..he decided to take DeBlieu cause it was cooler! 

We also have friends that each child has the last name of one parent -- aka Mr. Johnson's daughter is Firstname Johnson and Ms. Jackson's son is Firstname Jackson. It's an interesting way of continuing on your name! 

I am keeping my last name. My mom did as well. I have my dad's last name and my children will have my FI last name. 

I think in this day an time, when we have no reason to really be beholden to our husband's last name...we don't have dowries anymore!, that it's really cool to see all the different last names! I'm part of a family company, and wanted to keep my last name. I like it better. FI thought about taking my last name...but thought too many people would get confused in our family company haha. I can't wait to see how it is in 50 years!

pantherRN

I actually have two friends who did this. They are both PhDs and have published under their respective last names. When they got married, they both hyphenated.

kimberlykh

My friend and her husband hyphenated their last names.  I've also heard of taking a little bit of each last name to create a brand new one, i.e. Ms. Johnson and Mr. Goldstone become Goldsons or the Johnstones. 

PHughes819

My aunt and uncle did the hyphanated name thing  They are Herlastmame-Hislastname's.  They never had kids so they didnt pass it down but it was the way of keeping both names