May 2012 Weddings
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Shower upset.

So, my shower is saturday. I understood when some of my college friends (I'm still in college now) said they couldn't make it - it's spring break and a lot of people already had trips planned and that is okay. 

Today, 4 people cancelled on me. Via text message. Not one of them gave a real excuse, and one lives in my city!

I'm really hurt and upset. Only one of my college friends, who is a BM, is coming. My other BM won't even be there. I'm so embarrassed now that there are only going to be 12 people there including me and my family. I'm not even excited about it any more :(

To top it off, I see on facebook that one of the girls who RSVPed no is in my town RIGHT NOW and posting pics with other friends. When I texted and asked her why she wasn't in Vegas like she told me she would be she said she was upset that her friend she planned to go with blew her off so she's here partying for the weekend instead. When I asked if she would be able to come saturday she said no because she already made plans with other people. Seriously. 

I don't even know what to say anymore. I feel really hurt and upset and am appalled by the lack of etiquette by these women. 5 of the girls I invited didn't even bother to RSVP at all to begin with.

Clearly these people aren't real "friends". I feel like bridal showers are really important - I have driven 5 hours by myself to make it to them before - but very few are even decent enough to actually show up when they say they will. 

At this rate I may as well lower my guest count because I can't count on anyone nor do they care. 

Ugh. Sorry this was more of a vent. I'm just really upset and don't want my sister (who has poured her soul into planning this for me) to have to listen to me. 
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Re: Shower upset.

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    I understand why you're upset, but try not to let it bother you too much. I went to a bridal shower last summer & only 10 people were there. It was still fun even nonetheless! Do you think that maybe some girls are saying they can't come because they can't afford a gift? Just something to think about! Either way, I know you're upset about it & it's a big deal to you, but maybe they just don't see it that way. KWIM? I'm sorry you're dealing with this, I'd probably be upset too, but just try to hang in there : )
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    comeongetdowncomeongetdown member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    oh man :(  that sucks!  i'm so sorry!  that would make me sad and embarrassed also that my friends wouldn't make the time to come especially if they were in town.

    but on the up side, the people that do show up WANT to be there and want to support you and love you and you will have a great time with the people there!  :-D
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    S0095042S0095042 member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012
    I'm sorry  :( I had a similar problem but with my bachelorette party...you would think this would be one of the few times in life that friends would rally together. Maybe it's time to look for new friends? (if this is a re-occuring habit)

    on that note, try to have a good time and get yourself ampted up for this weekend. The people who will be there (family or otherwise) have made the effort and you don't want to come accross poorly to those who did show up...
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    I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. But I'm wondering, why are people rsvp-ing to you? Are you throwing your own shower? Could this be the reason why your "friends" don't want to come?

    If you're not throwing your own shower (which I hope you aren't) then you just have to remember those who are going and you can/will have a good time if you don't dwell on the ones who aren't there.
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    I'm so sorry this has happened to you! I would be upset too but you can't dwell on it. You don't want to ruin the your shower for the guests that do show up by having a down-in-the-dumps attitude. I think that maybe it is time to re-evaluate your friendships with these people... I hope everything works out for you!!
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    My shower was last weekend and a lot of people (including family) couldn't make it. My own sister couldn't even come!  We only had 11 people total, but it was still so much fun.  Just try not to let it bother you and enjoy your day.  :)
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    My shower was small. I specifically wanted it that way. I only had my side of the family and FI's mum and sister.
    It does suck though that people last minute backed out. Sometimes things do come up though that are out of people's control (not including the girl in your town for the weekend)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_shower-upset?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:464efb66-d608-4300-913f-9377d1bd567bPost:bf8c2bbb-f7d8-4bea-8440-a173890ba119">Re: Shower upset.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My shower was last weekend and a lot of people (including family) couldn't make it. My own sister couldn't even come!  We only had 11 people total, but it was still so much fun.  Just try not to let it bother you and enjoy your day.  :)
    Posted by Tully16[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this.  We had about 11-12 people at my shower last weekend and it was still fun!  Look on the bright side - it will be more intimate and you'll be able to spend more time with the people that DO think it is important.</div>
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    I agree with pp just enjoy the people who really love you.
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    I had a small shower also (partly by choice) and still had a good time. Focus on the people that are there, and use this as a chance to spend quality time with them :)
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    That is a bummer, but you will still have a great time with the people who love you the most :)
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    littleshrinklittleshrink member
    First Comment
    edited March 2012

    I'm sorry that your friends are creating this for you.  It's difficult to understand why people act the way they do.  Just know the people that do show up love you very much and are there to support you and give you the party you deserve.  Appreciate their love and support have a great time!  It's a celebration!

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    Thank you guys for your support! The shower was a real success! It ended up Being 11 total and was really fun and honestly if there had been more people I wouldn't have been able to really talk to everyone so you guys were right! I will definitely post pics later because my sister did such a great job putting it together.
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