May 2012 Weddings

what would you do?

My FI's cousin invited her son's girlfriend (they are 20 years old) to our wedding. I have never met her son and FI hasn't seen him since he was a little kid. We have never met the girlfriend. Part of me wants to just let it slide to avoid awardness/confrontation but it really bothers me that she added her to the RSVP. The invite was specifically address to the her and her husband and their 2 kids. Ugh, so rude! Our guest list is already larger than I wanted it to be because of large families and our friends that we want to be there...it does not include guests for the guests! What would you do? 
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Re: what would you do?

  • I would definitely let her know unfortunately due to financial restraints, only those mentioned on the invites are invited. Stand your ground.
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  • I agree with PP. If you put specfic people then they need to be respectful of that. Maybe you should have your FI bring it up to his parents and let them handle it since it is their family and it would be easier coming from them.
  • I think you should just let her know that although you would like to extend the invite to everyone, your venue and budget just don't allow for that and you only have accomodations for those on the invite.  This probably won't be the first encounter you run into regarding this so, if you can find a comfortable way to express this, it will be easier if it presents itself with other RSVP's.  :)
  • Ditto PPs. I would also say something to her about how you wish you could invite them, but don't have it in the budget. Or, if your venue is going to be a tight fit, tell her you don't have the room. I wouldn't be worried about making it awkward, she's the one that made it awkward by adding people to the RSVP who weren't on the invitation. RUDE!
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  • I would definitely make it an issue of space.. "I'm so sorry, I would love to include _____'s GF, however we simply do not have the room to include anyone other than those listed on the invitation." I would be worried if you made it an issue of budget that she would offer to pay for the girl to come.. it seems incredibly rude, but then again, so is inviting her son's girlfriend to an invitation-only event without consulting you. 
  • Ugh, that is uncomfortable!
    But I agree with PPs, it likely won't be the only time this happens.. Better to just make a blanket statement about space and kindly put it off (or ask FI's parents to break the news!)

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