May 2012 Weddings
Options

Bridal Party dissapointment

Hi I need to vent for a second because it seems slightly childish, but my feelings have been hurt and I don't want to dump it on my FI.

Today is my birthday, our wedding is May12th.
 
My Maid of honor is my sister and she lives 400 miles away, while the next BM lives a couple of hours away as well. the other 2, live right here in my town and none of them have even suggested, mentioned, even said anything about possibly having a shower or a bachlorette get togehter.

Let me clarify, I'm not being selfish or anything, if they suggested it I would tell them not to throw me a shower as this is my 2nd marriage anyway. We aren't even wanting to register for gifts. But, I guess my feelings are just hurt that no one has even mentioned anything. I know my Sis and the other BM can't come to town becuase of expenses before the wedding and I understand that. I'm just feeling really crappy the last few days because they haven't even asked if there is anything they can do to help me with the wedding. My FI and I have done everything ourselves. My sister calls frequently to see how the plans are going and asks me to send pics of the DIY stuff I've done. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest that I'm feeling a little bit of a let down at the lack of interest from our friends. I know they're busy with their own livs, it just makes me not want to go out of my way for anyone anymore.

Then on top of all of that, I am a purchasing person at my job. Whenever it's someone's bday etc or special occassion, I'm the one that has to go pick up a cake, card etc and setup a little party. NOBODY remembered my birthday today. Just made me want to cry on top of all of the other stuff.

Like I said, sounds kind of childish, but I feel a little better anyway.
Anniversary

Re: Bridal Party dissapointment

  • Options
    Happy birthday! I understand your feelings. It's just nice to be acknowledged and remembered. But I feel like I might understand where your BMs are coming from, too. When I was a BM in a friend's wedding a few years ago, it just seemed like she had everything in hand and she never asked for anything. I didn't know what to do and didn't want to step on toes, so I really didn't contribute much. Maybe your BMs would be happy to help but just want to be told what you need help with. You could do this in a breezy way - just send out a message to at least the two local girls and suggest that they join you at your place for pizza/brownies/wine/whatever and help you with [fill in the blank]. It sounds like your sister really is pretty interested, but just not around to help in person. Maybe you could come up with a specific task to assign to her - say, putting together gift bags for out-of-town guests.

    Hope this helps a little. Do something fun for your birthday!
  • Options
    All I can say is I'm sorry. It really stinks when you feel that your friends aren't being supportive. Happy birthday...hope it turns around for you!
    image
  • Options
    First, let me say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

    Second...I am so sorry that you are feeling let down. I think it's only natural to feel this way when you secretly hope for something. Even if you don't want them to throw you a party, the fact is, you atleast want them to acknowledge you/it. I honestly don't think that you're being silly or childish. We all know that no one has to do anything for us, but you can't help feeling let down if no one steps up and says "hey, how about we do this....or can I help you with this...?" I know how you feel. And it's a bummer. Even if this is your second marriage, it shouldn't matter. You feel how you feel.

    Maybe they will surprise you and have a little party or something. Cheer up, honey pie. Soon, your wedding day will be here and all this will be forgotten (hopefully) and you'll have a beautiful, wonderful day to remember and you get to say "I do" to the love of your life!

    P.S....we're date twins! So, not much longer now Laughing
  • Options
    Happy Birthday!!
    I'm sorry your friends aren't being as supportive as you hoped.
    Unplanned BFP#1 12/15/09 7wks m/c 12/24/09 Anniversary image
  • Options
    Thanks girls! I think I just needed to vent and hear somebody tell me I wasn't being completely stupid.

    vineyard12 you hit it right on the head. I dont' expect anything, just some acknowledgement would be nice. I understand where ya'll are coming from about them feeling like I've got it under control, I think I'll take your advice and invite them for a girls night myself.

    I really think today i'm actually more upset about my birthday than the wedding and I may just be projecting. Who knows. Maybe I just need to go home early today! LOL
    Anniversary
  • Options
    Happy Birthday! I'm sorry you are sad. We would buy you a cake if we could. :
    image
  • Options
    Happy Birthday!!!!!


    So sorry you feel that way on today of all days. I think you may just be stressed and everything is building up so today when everything else happened it just all came out. Sometimes others don't think of themselves and it hurts us. Try not to read too much into it. Maybe they will surprise you with something or maybe your BM's expect your MOH to do that kind of stuff. I hope your day gets better!
  • Options
    Happy birthday love! I know it's not much but we love you here!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    130 image Are on the way! The rest don't matter... FINAL COUNT~!
  • Options

     I understand your feelings Ronik. This is my second marriage also, I've been divorced for 11 years. I don't want a full fledged shower, but would like my friends to get together. My wedding is in 7 weeks and my MOH seems lost so I gave her my BM's number. We will both enjoy our weddings.  Happy Birthday!!!!!!
  • Options
    First off, Happy Birthday!! and I'm sorry that you're bummed out.

    Do you think that maybe you mentioned not wanting a shower or anything, in passing to either your sister or your BM (or your Mom who may have said something to either of those women) and thats why no one is planning any pre-wedding parties?

    Also, your BMs/MOH don't have to do anything besides shop up on the day of the wedding in the dress you've asked them to wear. I only say this because if you think otherwise, you're setting yourself up for major disappointment. This is your (and FI's) wedding, not your BMs/MOHs, so don't expect them to do anything (i.e. invitations, decorations etc.) because its really not their job.
    imageimage
    Missing Our July Sparkler
    BFP-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13 Anniversary]
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_bridal-party-dissapointment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:8592af58-dafb-41b4-92da-6fc4be7dd623Post:3084d3d1-003f-4719-a31c-8eda689402f5">Re: Bridal Party dissapointment</a>:
    [QUOTE]First off, Happy Birthday!! and I'm sorry that you're bummed out. Do you think that maybe you mentioned not wanting a shower or anything, in passing to either your sister or your BM (or your Mom who may have said something to either of those women) and thats why no one is planning any pre-wedding parties? Also, your BMs/MOH don't have to do anything besides shop up on the day of the wedding in the dress you've asked them to wear. I only say this because if you think otherwise, you're setting yourself up for major disappointment. This is your (and FI's) wedding, not your BMs/MOHs, so don't expect them to do anything (i.e. invitations, decorations etc.) because its really not their job.<div>Posted by cpm1223[/QUOTE]

    </div><div>I agree with all of this. None of my BMs have asked to help with any of my planning or asked about anything wedding related, but it doesn't bother me at all. It's not their wedding, it's FI's and mine.</div>
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Options
    happy birthday! i would feel sad if that was going on with me too. regardless that it is a second marriage, you are a bride!!!  and those things like showers and bachlorettes should be at the very least suggested by your bridesmaids.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards