Friday wedding when guests have to travel?

bpphoto785

Fellow May 2012 Brides, I need your opinions! My fiancé and I have been trying to firmly set our wedding date. We were originally discussing Saturday, May 19, 2012, but the cruise we want to take for our honeymoon departs on Sunday the 20th. Since there's no telling the boat when to sail, we're now considering changing our date to that Friday, the 18th. That way we’ll have a day to recuperate and relax before we leave, we can have breakfast the next morning with family and friends and we can party a little harder at our wedding! The problem is the majority of our guests live out of town about 3 hours away. This means that most people would have to take that Friday off from work for our wedding. Even if we give a lot of advance notice through word of mouth and save the dates, is that too much to ask of our guests? On the bright side, we do live in a touristy area so people could make a weekend out of it if they wanted to.

ljewel

Hi...yes I agree that you would be asking too much from your guest.  PantherRN made a wonderful suggestion about researching other cruiselines for other dates..that would alleviate the pressure on both ends.  After all..you want your wedding to be as relaxed and problem free as possible...without adding the traveling stress on guest that you would love to share that moment with.

pandakp

I disagree.  I think if you set the ceremony at 7 p.m. this would give them ample time to travel.  They might have to leave work a little early...but those that want to make it will!

cgyvhu

I'm an April 2012-er, but I really dont think its right to say that those who want to be there will.  What if someone has used up all their vacation, doesn't get vacation days, or has a job where they cant leave early?  What about the ability to get transportation, etc to the wedding location?  Assuming that someone will make it work if they want to is really inconsiderate.  Many people will want to go but be unable to if you schedule your wedding on a workday out of town.

There's nothing wrong with Friday weddings, so long as you realize your accept rate might be lower.  If it's important to you to get to the cruise on time and you don't care if less people come, have it Friday.  If it's important to you to celebrate with as many family and friends as possible, do Saturday and find a different cruise.

pantherRN

You all realize that it's not just your day, right? What about your FI's? Your parents? Siblings? Close friends? His parents? His siblings?

Do you think of just what you like to eat or drink when you throw a party? Or what kind of activites just you like to do? Sure don't.

The thought that "it's my day and I'll do what I want" is an incredibly selfish way to look at your wedding day.

FutureMrsW9

Oh...and...I'm not sure where you're from, but in Jersey is a HECK of a lot cheaper!  And to those who say it's not about you...um, lol, no, it's 110% about you and your groom.  Your parents and sibs will be there no matter when you have it, even if it's a Wednesday!  People who want to be there WILL be there...trust me.  I actually have one cousin who got married on Valentine's day, and that year it was a TUESDAY!  People did not decline just because of the day of the week.  If you send your invites out 8 weeks in advance or more, that's plenty of time for people to get off from work.  5/18/12 all the way!!!!  Plus, the honeymoon is the BEST part of getting married!!!!!  Def don't sacrifice that because you're worried about a Friday wedding.

BeachMuffin

I agree w. Mrs. W -- and no matter WHEN or WHERE you have it, there will be people who want to come who just won't be able to. Take this from someone who just got married.

cgyvhu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_friday-wedding-guests-travel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:964fea0a-1eaa-4149-9b0f-b0125859dccdPost:94f42ae4-fa0c-4e37-bbd5-82b36a2d397a">Re: Friday wedding when guests have to travel?</a>:
[QUOTE]Plus, the honeymoon is the BEST part of getting married!!!!!  Def don't sacrifice that because you're worried about a Friday wedding.
Posted by FutureMrsW9[/QUOTE]

Are you serious?  The honeymoon isnt part of the wedding.  I would think the best part of getting married would be, you know, the marriage part.  Wow.

Look, Friday weddings are fine, but they don't allow as many people to come as a Saturday wedding.  Especially when there are many out of town guests.  I agree with panther on the "it's my day" mentality.

BeachMuffin

mdp I think you are a little judgemental. For many folks, Friday or Sunday weddings are all they can afford. In addition, the honeymoon IS a fantastic part of the wedding experience. If it was one or the other, I would definitely have a Friday wedding and take a honeymoon. Sheesh.

cgyvhu

Beach- I didnt say I had anything against a Friday wedding.  I think I made that clear in the last post, and I get that it's a lot more affordable.  I just think it's harder on guests, which is what I have been saying.  I don't agree with you on the honeymoon thing, but we dont have to agree.  Im giving my opinion and disagreeing with yours.  That doesn't imply judgment, so calm down.

OP-I really do hope that your wedding/honeymoon works out the way you want, but I do think some people might find it hard to celebrate with you on a Friday.   Hopefully with advance notice, you can make it work.

pantherRN

What md said.

No one is ragging on Friday weddings, at all. If Friday works for you and your guests, then that's great! I get that having a Friday or Sunday wedding is the best option for some people.

Beach, I also agree with you. There will be people who want to be there but can't. But personally, I would want all of the people who are invited and want to be there, to be there.

OP, I hope you guys figure out a day that works. The honeymoon is a great bonus of the wedding, but it's not everything. Feel free to PM me if you want help finding another cruise or want travel advice.

kizzyrings

We are definitely having our wedding on a Friday at 5pm. My family all live 3 hours away. I have informed all of my family of this and they are more than happy to take that day off and drive down. I have been in contact with the 2 out of state guests that I wish to attend and they are both willing to use vacation time.  This will save us considerable $$, plus my children can go home with my mother for our 2 night hotel stay.
I am of the opinion that this is "our" day. We are paying for most of this ourselves and based our date on my aunt's work schedule (she is an accountant and would not be able to make it during tax season).

bwalsh15

My sister invited 200 to her Friday Wedding... 60-80 or so showed to the wedding itself (at 3PM) and 160 showed to her reception. She did it because they did want that extra day of rest with family before the Honeymoon and they did get a cheaper rate!

I'm actually following in her footsteps and doing our Friday wedding on 5/18/12. We have already told people that it is on a Friday so if they need to accommodate, and they are willing to, please do so. We will also be sending the Save the Date about a year in advance for those out of town and who have to take off on Friday.

Yes, it may not be just YOUR day - since your family and friends do want to see you on the happiest day of your life. However, if that decision is best for you and your fiance, then nobody should stop you!