NWR- Kids?

amandad18

Going off the sex/ HM post below- A lot of people say they're trying for kids right away. But how many people actually are?

Honestly, I think I've been so focused on pulling off the wedding I haven't thought much beyond it... I know FI wants kids "someday", but I guess it never really clicked for me that "someday" could be, you know- In two months ;p

We want to save money for a bit, maybe purchase a house. I'm not going to lie, though- I'm 31 and I feel that clock ticking. I went through a phase in my 20's where I was baby CRAZY (which was weird, because I had never really cared about kids before). Now it's more like I just want to do it to share it with my FI, and to have a tiny "us." 

Our only immediate addition planned is getting a goldendoodle after the wedding. That will be upsetting enough for our mini schnauzer, let alone a baby ;p

I know we aren't going to try right away, but who is? Why/ why not? How old are you?

cpm1223

We are going to wait a couple of years until we have kids. I'm thinking though, we might start trying after a year and a half of being married.

I'm 27, will be 28 right after the wedding and I'd like to be pregnant when I'm 30, not really anytime before that though. FI is older than me (he's 32) and he doesn't want to wait too much longer than a couple of years because he doesn't want to be "too old to keep up with the kids" (his words)

gpapale1

I'm not gonna lie...I have had baby fever for the past year or so.  I'm all for having kids right away, but I know it's probably better for us to at least wait until we have a house.  I'll be turning 27 a few months after the wedding, and I'd rather start sooner than later (just in case we have issues getting preggo).  I've always wanted to be a mommy, and I'm just really excited that things are falling in place for that to happen.

dland0201

I would love to start right away. But I need to take baby steps with FI. Get him through the wedding and then bring it up more seriously. I don't want to overwhelm him with it all at once. I want to enjoy being married for a little bit. So I think our plan will be like 6month-1 year of waiting.

I am 26 and FI with be 28 this year. I definitely have the baby clock ticking.

comeongetdown

FI and I want like 3 or 4 kids, and I'm 27 now... so we need to get on the ball!!  Plus, I've had baby fever BAD since my sister got knocked up a year ago.  Buying my nephew baby stuff helps curb the feeling for now, but that won't last long  haha

FI wants to wait a year, and I'm like, "a year to conceive?  or a year to deliver?"  hahaha  I'll give him his year, but after that IT'S ON!!!!  hahaha

dori851

We want to start trying again right away (well pretty much right away). We will probably be have the "don't really care" mentality on our HM, but not necessarily "trying." Our son will be 21mo old when we get married, & I don't want our kids to be too far apart. We want to be finished having kids by the time FI is 30 (he is 24) & we want 4 kids. I am 21 (turning 22 at the end of this month). The lease on our apartment is up in May & we plan on buying a house pretty much right after that. So, as long as things go as planned (which we definitely know that might not be the case, hence getting pregnant when I was 19), we want to have more kids right away

ETA: In case anyone is thinking that we're awfully young to have a child & want more kids. We are being responsible about this FI has an awesome job with a college degree. I am a SAHM (I babysit sometimes) by choice! I am in school full-time online to finish my marketing degree which will be finished in a year so if I got pregnant on the HM, I would be done with school by the time baby #2 got here!

mancila60

I'm 22 will be 23 in July and yes I know I am young and we have plenty of time. But I have had a medical condition since I was 16 that will make getting pregnant and staying pregnant difficult. Once I turn 30 chances decrease from 50% to about 10%. So we decided to try right away. We won't be "trying" until closer to Sept when we have insurance stuff straighten out but we won't be protecting ourselves either.

Also FFIL and FMIL are several years older than my parents and FI is worried they may not be here if we wait to long. So he wants babies sooner than later so that his parents can enjoy them too.

Saragem1982

I'm 28 will be 29 right after the wedding.  FI and I are not having kids, I used to worry that I was holding him back from that because I think he would make and amazing dad. He assured me, that he doesn't want kids.  I've am the youngest of 3 and my siblings are much older than me.  I've just never had a maternal instinct.

mandydc0509

I'll be 25 and Fi is 28. We want AT LEAST two years alone, and then we want to have 2 kids. I'd prefer to wait a little longer; I'm in no rush.

amanda14lynne

I will be 25 in June and FI will be 26 in September.  We have always known we want kids.  When we started dating almost 7 years ago, FI's nephew was 4 months old.  FBIL was still living at home when Ty was born, so FI and I have spent a LOT of time with him over the past 7 years... love that little guy with all my heart.  My friends are having babies as well... love being around them.

If it were up to FI, we would start right away.  He wants to be young enough when his kids are 25 to be able to play ball and such with them lilke his dad is still able to do with FI and his brother.  But I want to wait a couple years.  I want to enjoy being married and living with FI- just the two of us for a while first.  We want to buy a house first which we plan on trying to do in about a year.... if all goes well, we'll probably start trying in a year and a half/two years.

bpphoto785

We're waiting. FI is 27 and I'll be just shy of when we get married. We'd like to buy a house first and plan to start trying when we're 29ish. In a perfect world I would get my Masters degree somewhere in there as well.

We'd like to have two kids and money is a big factor for us waiting. Plus I don't want to have them too late into my 30s, but I also don't want to have one right after the other.

However, if we won the lottery tomorrow we'd be trying on the honeymoon and we'd probably have a TON of babies!

court115

We're going to start trying right away. We're both 24. He'll be 25 in August and I'll be 25 in December but I've always wanted kids young. We both have finished school and have good careers. We bought our home 2 years ago so owning a home isn't a problem. Besides, his sister just had a baby and my sister's youngest boys are 2 and 3. I wanted our kids to all be around the same age.

aschwach

FI and I are both 28 and we decided that we would probably not have any kinds of our own.  If someday in the future we decided to want a child then I think we would try to adopt.  There are so many kids out there that need a good home and I just never really thought of myself having my own (biological) kids.  Even when I was little when me and cousins played mommy, my babies always came to me on an airplane! 

lnvane00

I never ever ever wanted kids. And I actually never ever wanted to get married. Well of course the married thing changed after I met Chris. I couldnt imagine life without him now.
But the whole kids thing freaks me out! I come from a huge family. I know exactly what its like to take care of kids and how not fun they can be. I was taking care of babies when I was 10! So I was not interested in having kids.

And I really dont know if I can even have kids now. I'm only 25. But me and FI have not be 'safe' at all. And no pregnancy yet. FI DOES want kids. I say kid, singular! I dont want more then 1 if I do get pregnant. He wants at least 2. So we will have to definitely talk more about that LOL

When I am ready to start a family I want it to be in a couple years. I want to enjoy life with my husband and just us and our sweet dog. Cuz I know when a baby comes into the picture it can change a marriage for the worst. But hopefully not!

LittleLunarMouse

Kids are definitely in the 'very near future' plan. I recently had a miscarriage in September; even though concieving was a happy accident, it was heatbreaking since we both so desperately wanted to be parents. I've known I wanted to be a young mom from a very young age. I'm 25 right now and FI is 26. I want kid#1 before Im 27, at the latest. We want two, close together in age, and I want that to happen before Im 30.

So, we will definitely be trying again in the next year or so. Right now our rental house is perfect for us, but way too small to have a baby. There is no extra room at all. Its damn next to impossible to get a loan nowadays (especially if you own your own business like we do; we've already tried) so we need to hold off until we at least get a bigger place. Waiting to buy a house seems silly at this point.

Melissa51212

I will be 29 at the wedding and he will be 30. We both undecided right now. We love our life and independence still. I def think we end up with kids but we just going to enjoy this time right now. I know we don't have much time with me being on The verge of 30... We said we see how we feel at our one year and if we both want them then then we go for it. Hah

mildlymailyn

We both want kinds! I will be 25 next month (yikes!) and FI is 22. He has baby fever worse than I do and he wants to start trying right away. We are ina 1 bdrm apartment with a lease through the end of February 2013. I don't want to squish a baby into that. I don't think we are going to be trying actively but we won't be super safe either. I am excited for a baby!

jennamarie10

I have had the fever for way too long. We are waiting until our honeymoon in September but then I think we will give it a go. Terrifying and so exciting all at the same time.

kimberlykh

We are trying right away! I'm 33 and FI is 42. So, the obvious answer to "why" is our ages, but it's more than that. A lot of our friends are still waiting, and I think it would be okay too. But, I don't know what we'd be waiting for, I guess. We are fine financially, we've both led very full lives, traveled a lot, partied a lot, had our "me" time, had our "us" time. We do need to get a house though, and we will start looking as soon as we return from the HM. We are both so excited to start this next chapter, but recognize it could take awhile.

leopardgurl831

FI and I are going to start trying later this year.  FI would like to try right away and I'd rather wait a year and enjoy being married.  We have agreed that October will be the earliest, but i'm hoping for December.  My MOH is having a destination wedding in December and I don't really want to be pregnant at an all inclusive resort.  I am 29 and FI is 31, I would just like to be pregnant when I'm 30.

mandi921vh

I am 25 and FI will be 24 after we get married. We want kids really, really bad, but are waiting... FI has a job, but I want a job (will know Friday about one). I want to be married and have our house together. We still need furniture and window draperies and we are going to fix up the basement, I want to paint. Basically get my life and house in order Then we can see if it's the right time for babies. I think in a about year that should all be done then we talk about babies.

pantherRN

Mostly depends on us buying a house this summer. We've vaguely talked about not preventing sometime after the holidays and then getting serious about making a baby next summer.

S0095042

I hope this prego talk isn't contagious! We're both about to turn 23. I'll grad in Dec. and he'll follow in May (he did a major change a few years in). Any how, we will be waiting..a LONG time. A lot of our friends (we're the 'baby' of the group) are having kids/just had kids and it's insane to think we are old enough to even be there yet! I'm thinking 28 sounds like a good, far off number to start the "baby" conversation - don't know if I will be able to hold off the FI that long though - he already has baby fever.

SunshineShades

We are trying right away. As in, before the wedding possibly lol. I am 29 and FI is 35. I went off the pill in January to give my body time to start cycling normally. When I went off the pill in university for about 1 year, I didnt get a period for at least 6 months (I cant remember exactly how long it was). So I am expecting things to take a while to start moving regularly.

max&lucy

Definitely won't be trying right away. I am not ready for kids yet - even though I am 33 and FI is 30. I am pretty focused on my career (so is FI) and we are kind of in a transitional period at the moment (he may have a big opportunity coming up that will have us relocating). I think 35 will be about right to start trying, but we shall see... first things first.

norweigan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_nwr-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:96d48675-2c9a-4470-b89e-10e752e34a55Post:c67cc199-6ea8-435f-aabb-27ab9ea3ce7e">Re: NWR- Kids?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not gonna lie...I have had baby fever for the past year or so.
Posted by gpapale1[/QUOTE]

 omg me too. I've always wanted to be a mom, and FI is so good with kids that it makes it hard to wait. Plus we want 4 or 5 kids, and, while i'm only 25, i don't want ot have them one after the other and don't want to be an old mom.
 That being said, I don't want to get preggo at my current job (i'm the only one who handles what i do in my division, and i don't want to put one of the other women through having to learn a bunch of new stuff while i'm on maternity leave), and this is only a 2 year thing and i don't want to get preggo a year into my next job (which should be at a law firm most likely, since i'm technically a lawyer, which is super competitive) :/ plus we would probably need to buy a new place first since we have a 1 bedroom. but it is sooooo hard!
i told FI he should just get me a puppy to hold me over :) he didn't fall for it...

careydes

I'm 33, FI is 31...

I've always known I wanted kids... and ever since working at a daycare/preschool, I've wanted to be a SAHM.  FI and I have discussed it from early on, and for a very very long time he was certainly scared of having kids 'right now.'  He knew he wanted them, but wasn't sure when. We have a house, and are financially in a position where we could provide for them, and I could stay home with them.

The closer the wedding comes, the more he has been talking about it, and getting excited for it, haha.  I think he's ready to start right after the wedding.  I am pretty much on board with that, except his sister is getting married in October, (and we have two other weddings to go to between now and then!) and part of me wants to be able to have fun at them! haha.

TBH, though, that isn't reason enough to put it off for me...  It's just odd to think that I'm finally in a place where I'm ready to take that step!!!

littleshrink

I am 34 and am not able to have children.  FI and I have come to grips with this...but our families are a whole other story.  They push us to try this procedure and try this drug.  Our feelings on the matter are simple.  GOD hasn't blessed us with the ability to have kids, therefore, I'm not pushing the subject.  I guess that just isn't in our marriage.  I'm not even sure about the adoption thing.  I've had friends go through adoption and it is such a horrible process.  Please help me understand why it should take 10 years to have a child through adoption?!  Crazy...

I hope all of you just take time to enjoy your lives and not put so much pressure on yourselves.  Your life will provide for you, just have faith and enjoy the ride!

DianaL616

I've wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl and FI and I are really looking forward to having a family but we are waiting 1.5-2 years before we start trying. We want to take a couple of years to ourselves before we have little ones running around. My FI is about to turn 27 and I'll be 26 in June. We want to be a little more settled in our careers, pay down debt, go on a few vacations before we have kids. I'm so excited to take that step though!

Tully16

FI and I are planning to wait 5+ years or so before kids.  Reasoning?  Well, for starters, we're both 25.  None of my friends have kids.  I'm a teacher and see kids EVERY. FREAKING. DAY.  My FI is still in school and will have close to six figure debt when he completes it.  We don't have a decision yet on where we will settle down.  We want to buy an old Victorian style house and completely remodel it.  We both want to travel.  My list goes on and on and on but basically....we're just not ready.  

It's funny that I'm so big on waiting because I remember being 8, 12, 16, 20, etc and thinking, "I can't wait until I'm all grown up and can have kids."  I remember thinking too that I didn't even particularly care about getting married - I just wanted to be a mom.  That's all changed now though.  I still want kids - I'm just not ready to sacrifice my youth for them. 

DianaL616

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_nwr-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:96d48675-2c9a-4470-b89e-10e752e34a55Post:c7efdd86-cc77-44b0-a063-bbe23a05be0d">Re: NWR- Kids?</a>:
[QUOTE] It's funny that I'm so big on waiting because I remember being 8, 12, 16, 20, etc and thinking, "I can't wait until I'm all grown up and can have kids."  I remember thinking too that I didn't even particularly care about getting married - I just wanted to be a mom.  That's all changed now though.  I still want kids - I'm just not ready to sacrifice my youth for them. 
Posted by Tully16[/QUOTE]

<div>Sounds like me! I always wanted to have kids, whether I was married or not. I really want to have kids and when I was younger I figured I would have my first kid when I was 25 (that's old I am now!). A few of my friends do a have kids and while I enjoy being around them...FI and I know we aren't ready for the lifestyle yet.</div>