FSIL Is In Town.... (Vent)

spalko

Let me just start off by saying that I don't have any relationship what-so-ever with FI's sister. Her husband is in the military so they currently live in Maryland and I have only seen her probably three times in the 2.5 years that FI and I have been together.

Every spring she drives up to MI with her two kids for a couple days then leaves her kids with FI's parents for a month or so. This time around it'll be two months! Does anyone else find it weird that she is leaving her kids for two months?! She won't be back until the day before the wedding. Now, I don't have children so I don't know how it is but something just doesn't seem right about that to me. I get that FI's parents don't get to see their grandkids that much but that just seems a bit too much to me.

Everytime I do see her she always acts weird towards me, like because she's already married and has two kids that she's better than me. I don't know, it's just weird... Whenever our wedding is mentioned she turns it around to talk about how her and her husband are going to have a 'wedding' on their 5 year anniversary, since they got married at the Justice of the Peace. It takes everything I have to bite my tongue to not scream that it's a vow renewal since she's already married!!! 

I know I probably sound like a total b*tch but there is just something about her that just gets under my skin. Who knows, maybe I do the samething to her (wouldn't that be nice, JUST KIDDING!!) She's only here for a week so I guess I can make it through until then as long as no word vomit comes up between now and then

Soon2BSand

I WISH I could send my kids to my parents for a month or even the whole summer. It's not that uncommon for kids to go away to Grammy's for the summer at least not in the south where I grew up. A break is good... A summer break is amazing. I think you're annoyed by her and every little thing she does even harmless things is read wrong. I should know... I'm so hypersensitive about my FSIL that I'm paranoid everytime she texts or calls FI. I have somehow convinced myself that she's talking about me. I literally have to tell myself to take a chill pill. Lol

jennamarie10

Ha, I def also have issues with my FSIL. It's ok to vent!

LOMLBOAT

I have problems with my FBIL and his wife, and it's not fun when it's during your wedding planning.  But at least she'll be gone and you don't live closer.  I love my future MIL and FIL, but can't stand much of the rest of my FI's family, but he feels the same way! LOL he's always telling me he's getting the better end of the deal - family wise.  Everytime one of them gets under my skin, I remember a joke someone told me once:

What's the difference between in-laws and out-laws??  Outlaws are always wanted!

I try to limit my contact with his brother and wife and there's a lot less conflict that way.  Sorry you have to deal with her, but it's only a week and then it'll be all about you and the wedding again!

levanlaere

My FSIL didn't realize her six year old son had spring break until this past Friday. She literally was looking for anyone, I mean a cousin of a cousin who has a 20 year old son who could watch the child... So literally a stranger to watch her child for three days and two nights. Nights because she didn't want to pick him up just to drive him back in the morning.

I told her to put him in the daycare with her other child and now I believe that is what she is doing. I found the first scenario to be really odd.

Maybe she is just trying to have something in common with you to talk about. I don't know, just grabbing for some ideas here. Well hopefully everything goes well. Good luck!

AurorasEnvy

That seems really weird to me, too.  I don't know any parent or heard of any parent that has left their kids with the grandparents for an extra long period of time (like more than 1-2 weeks) without a really good reason (IE, family emergency).

This might be a lot to speculate, but maybe your FSIL is a bit jealous of your "real" upcoming wedding and your childless life - sounds to me she might be a bit stressed with the kids if she's leaving them for 2 months just because!  Like I said, I don't know any parents that would voluntarily be separated from their kids for that long.

Just my 2 cents =]  Have fun dealing with her!

mancila60

I also have issues with FBIL and his wife. I could spend hours telling you ladies about it.

I do think it is weird that she sends her kids off for that long but not because she's leaving them but more of how old are they? Are they missing school for this? Stuff like that. I have heard of people leaving their kids for a while BUT not 2 months maybe 2 weeks but no more.

LOMLBOAT - My FI also says he's getting better in-laws and familly through this marriage.

TheFutureMrsB81

It's not uncommon really. My moms friend has her grandson for 2 months during the summer, mainly because the child lives in N.C and the grandma lives here. She loves having him for that time since she doesn't get to see him other than holidays.

I WISH my mom would take our 3 kids for a summer lol.

Oh, and don't mind her. Sounds like she is being petty. She also isn't having a "wedding", she's just having a renewal lol. I guess if she wanted the wedding, she should of had one. Maybe that's why she's so snobby to you. She wanted the wedding you guys are having.

LOMLBOAT

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_fsil-is-in-town-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:9c5230b0-ca8e-4cf5-9aac-ddf344428848Post:6141d87e-fa4b-4bd1-9922-482f8dc1a257">Re: FSIL Is In Town.... (Vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]I also have issues with FBIL and his wife. I could spend hours telling you ladies about it. I do think it is weird that she sends her kids off for that long but not because she's leaving them but more of how old are they? Are they missing school for this? Stuff like that. I have heard of people leaving their kids for a while BUT not 2 months maybe 2 weeks but no more. <strong>LOMLBOAT - My FI also says he's getting better in-laws and familly through this marriage.
</strong>Posted by mancila60[/QUOTE]

It's really hard when there's tension in a family, but FI is aware of it and is SO supportive, so it makes it easier (not easy, mind you) to deal with it since he's made it clear, we are a team, and he's not going to put up with it.

I just realized I never commented on the leaving the kids issue.  I agree with PP that it's normal for kids to be dropped off at the grandparents house for a couple weeks, but 2 months seems like a long time and PP mentioned - what about school??  It seems as though she is looking to be a part-time mother right about now.

mandi921vh

Yikes she sounds "awesome". While I don't have kids I wouldn't mind having them stay with FMIL and FFIL in the summers for a week or two. I think anything longer than that would be too long for me, and too long for the ILs. Plus any longer would seem like I am "shipping them out" or "getting rid of them" but that's just me.