Shower issues... Vent!

LDW0225

Alright ladies, tell me if I'm wrong or not. My FMIL is driving me crazy over the shower guest list. My sister & my FSIL are throwing my shower for me. Back in October my sister was looking for places to book. She found a super cute  cottage to rent that holds 40 people. She asked me & FMIL if that would be enough room for everyone we wanted invited. At this time I said (& FMIL agreed) the only people to be invited are mine & FIs aunts, girl cousins & my friends. So we decided that would be enough room for everyone. About a month or so ago my sis, FSIL & FMIL met to go over shower plans, guest list, invites, ect. Everything was settled and shower invites went out 2 weeks ago. FMIL calls me last night & said "I was looking at the shower list and we forgot 2 people". Umm.. What?? How did suddenly 2 people appear that need to be invited?? She told me who the people were, which I have NEVER met. So I told her, well I thought we were only doing family & I think we're pretty close to the number allowed in the room anyways, but I'll see what we can do. I talked to my sister and we're at the number allowed and everyone so far has RSVPed yes. It's driving me nuts. The only reason she wants these 2 people invited is because she went to their daughters (who FMIL knows because they are friends with FSIL) showers and gave them very nice gifts. But it's not an eye for an eye. I don't know these two people so I don't want them to come. Am I wrong for telling her no? I know its only 2 more people, but the list is already at the allowed number in the room, the shower invites went out 2 weeks ago and why didn't she bring this up 4 months ago when things were being discussed? Is it May 20th yet???? Haha, Let me know what you ladies think...

leopardgurl831

I would probably just let them come...but we are inviting almost everyone to the shower...so I might look at it different than you.  I would tell her we are currently at capacity and if people decline then they can come....and hey maybe everyone will come so that they can't anyway :-)

amandad18

I agree with PP- Wait until you know you have two open spaces and then invite them. In a crowd of 40 you'll barely notice they are there, and if it helps keep the peace with your FMIL, I'd say do it

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_shower-issues-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:a4196675-8a1b-4d51-a21b-5ddd30fdc705Post:28be4b77-63e4-4c6b-878b-67e8f0dcad99">Re: Shower issues... Vent!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PP- Wait until you know you have two open spaces and then invite them. In a crowd of 40 you'll barely notice they are there, and if it helps keep the peace with your FMIL, I'd say do it :)
Posted by amandad18[/QUOTE]

<div>This. </div>

littleshrink

Wow...I'm on the complete other side of the room on this one.  The invites are out.  The room is booked.  The group of "girls" putting the invite list together included your FMIL.  You don't know these people? 

By the way.... Isn't it about YOU???

ladychambers83

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_shower-issues-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:a4196675-8a1b-4d51-a21b-5ddd30fdc705Post:f81bc3ac-0dfd-46c7-b788-e084f45c62e8">Re: Shower issues... Vent!</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow...I'm on the complete other side of the room on this one.  The invites are out.  The room is booked.  The group of "girls" putting the invite list together included your FMIL.  You don't know these people?  By the way.... Isn't it about YOU???
Posted by littleshrink[/QUOTE]

This!! If its a family thing and it's been established already don't go back on your word because if you're allowing these 2 who's to say 2 or 3 more might not pop up?

rlpunches

You do need to pick your battles. True, but stick to your guns. The bridal shower is in honor of the BRIDE.
The rest of the invitations have already gone out. It is almost like they are second tier guests waiting for someone else to decline so that you can invite them. Like an A list/B list. Especially if they are not close friends or family, I would hold my ground. 

AurorasEnvy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_shower-issues-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:a4196675-8a1b-4d51-a21b-5ddd30fdc705Post:e0581970-9517-40c6-8e98-174ede174939">Re: Shower issues... Vent!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Shower issues... Vent! : This!! If its a family thing and it's been established already don't go back on your word because if you're allowing these 2 who's to say 2 or 3 more might not pop up?
Posted by ChocolateFlav17[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with the previous 2 posters.  Are these ladies even invited to your wedding?  I'd just tell her logistically you are at capacity right now and that you don't feel uncomfortable inviting people you aren't close to.</div>

LDW0225

Thanks ladies! They are invited to the wedding because I gave in and let FMIL invite a bunch of people to the wedding. That's why my guest list is 50 more people than I wanted to invite! The big issue was her adding even more people if I give in and let her invite these two people. I could see it happening. I don't want her to get upset over it but I think I have been pretty generous over the guest list for the wedding, so I feel like I need to stand my ground on this one... Thanks for the advice!