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Invite Address Dilemma

mandi921vhmandi921vh member
First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
in May 2012 Weddings
FMIL's best friend's daughter has had an off-on relationship with this guy for a few years. FMIL has insisted that her best friend will not allow her daugter's bf to come to the wedding (they are OOT). I have insisted to FI (who talks to FMIL) that if she is dating him at the time I am addressing the invites then his name will appear on the invitation.

I asked this girl via fb if they are still together. While FI is on the phone asking his mother if they are still dating, which FMIL responds with, "No, he is not allowed to come, and he is not her bf" this girl messages me saying that this guy is in fact still her boyfriend.

When I told FI this after his phone call with his mom he was upset that I went straight to this girl and now on her invite her boyfriend's name will appear after her parents have told her he cannot come (she is 21 and still lives at home while attending college), and now she will think he is allowed to come. FI is afraid this will open up a can of worms with his mom, her friend and this girl.

I explained to him that he has to be invited because he is her boyfriend. What they all decide to do as far as who is allowed to come is up to them.

Am I right? WWYD?
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Re: Invite Address Dilemma

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    kimberlykhkimberlykh member
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    You are right about the etiquette of it.  Sounds tricky though.  I would write "and guest" and let the girl figure out who she will bring.  GL!
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    draggiefiredraggiefire member
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    I agree with the PP. Unless it was confirmed that it's a serious relationship or that they were living together, I'd probably just leave it with the "girl's name and guest". GL!
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    vineyard12vineyard12
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    I agree. This seems a little tricky. You are right etuquette wise, but I would write the girl's name "and guest."
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    dori851dori851 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    She definitely needs to have a +1 since she has a BF. But, I agree with PPs & would write "and Guest" on her invitation. That way, you can't say you invited her BF, you left the decision up to her. What her & her family decide from there won't be your concern anymore :)
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    S0095042S0095042 member
    First Comment
    here's the deal. It's your wedding...if you say she can have a guest then you've offered her that option. If she is traveling with her parents then they have the option of telling her no...either way you did the right thing -- it's not for you to fuss over...they'll work it out.  -- good job standing by your beliefs to your FMIL
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