May 2012 Weddings
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Anyone NOT having assigned tables?

OK So I originally was planning on doing assigned tables (not seats, just tables) but people are acting like that is weird.  We are doing stations, not served meals.  I used to live in NY and all weddings I went to, even if buffet, had assigned tables.  Now that I am back home in NC, I have never been to any weddings that have assigned tables.  And when I ask about it, people give me this weird look. 

I don't want to come off as this control freak to people that aren't familiar to assigned tables, but I also don't want to make my northern guests confused since they are used to assigned tables.  ughhh
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Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?

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    I am not doing any assigned seating, at least for now. I would rather people be comfortable and do what they want. I am doing reserved tables, but that's it.
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    It depends on how many guests you have attending.  I think if it's less than 50 people, you can nix the assigned tables.  However, I think it gets a little crazy without assigned tables with a large number of guests.  A seating arrangement ensures that your guests will sit with people they know (and get along with), and that they won't have to split up their party if they are the last ones to sit down and all the tables are full except for one seat each. 
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    We aren't doing assigned tables. I have never been to a wedding that did that and I feel like that would add stress to me. I say let people sit where they want and with who they want. We are doing a buffett but people will have plenty of time to get drinks and find a table before the food opens. I do live in the south so maybe it is a southern thing I don't know. I think it is a personal decision.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_anyone-not-having-assigned-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b29ced88-0a75-454d-a72d-233b0679ed12Post:3a2a362f-662a-4847-ac81-804a6f85b20e">Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We aren't doing assigned tables. I have never been to a wedding that did that and I feel like that would add stress to me. I say let people sit where they want and with who they want. We are doing a buffett but people will have plenty of time to get drinks and find a table before the food opens.

    Posted by mancila60[/QUOTE]

    This! We live in Idaho, but our wedding is in Oregon.  I have been to weddings in both states and have not had assigned seating.  We are having 80-100 people, so semi-small..
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    We are having open seating. I agree with PP that I want people to be comfortable. I live in Ohio.
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    edited March 2012
    I have to do assigned tables because the dinner is plated per request (of 3 choices) so the servers need to know who ordered what, and where they are sitting.

    If not for this, I definitely wouldn't even bother with assigned tables. I saw an adorable sign on etsy that would eliminate any confusion your northern guests might have as well. 

    It said: Come as you are, stay as long as you can, we're all family here, so no seating plan!

    Too cute! 
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    I think especially with bigger weddings, one of the benefits of having assigned tables is that you can make sure eveyone fits with people they know or are likely to get along with...can you imagine being the guest who doesnt know anyone, or the only people they know are at an already full table - who has to find thier own seat? Or the family of 5 that has to be split up because theres only 3 or 4 seats left at every table?
    These are some of the logistical reasons that we ARE having assigned tables. Because of the nature of our guests I suspect everyone will get  up and mingle anyways, but I do want to make sure that people at least can sit together or with people they know when they are eating instead of having to sit with strangers because thats the only seats left.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_anyone-not-having-assigned-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b29ced88-0a75-454d-a72d-233b0679ed12Post:1a00faae-1271-4411-a89d-9dcd048cfe4f">Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It depends on how many guests you have attending.  I think if it's less than 50 people, you can nix the assigned tables.  However, I think it gets a little crazy without assigned tables with a large number of guests.  A seating arrangement ensures that your guests will sit with people they know (and get along with), and that<strong> they won't have to split up their party if they are the last ones to sit down and all the tables are full except for one seat each. </strong>
    Posted by gpapale1[/QUOTE]

    <div>This! I wasn't going to assign tables/ seats, but I didn't want people to have to split up. However, we're also going to have picnic blankets and some other "free" seating, if anyone would like to not sit at their assigned table for whatever reason :)</div>
    image
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    We're not doing them. I've never been to a wedding in Texas where this was done. I'm going to reserve some tables for immediate family, but the rest of the guests can sit as they please. It's a buffett, so serving food isn't an issue.

    Bonus - one less thing for you to worry about!
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    I am doing assigned tables. I think I'll have around 150 people and I want younger people to sit with younger people and my older guests to be with family and other older guests. If it was all open seating, it could get awkward. With seats being taken when someone gets up or couples not finding seats together or my friend having to sit with the non social non party Aunt :) just an example LOL
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_anyone-not-having-assigned-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b29ced88-0a75-454d-a72d-233b0679ed12Post:f106e6a0-0211-4e2b-87f5-b140ec6a9939">Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think especially with bigger weddings, one of the benefits of having assigned tables is that you can make sure eveyone fits with people they know or are likely to get along with...can you imagine being the guest who doesnt know anyone, or the only people they know are at an already full table - who has to find thier own seat? Or the family of 5 that has to be split up because theres only 3 or 4 seats left at every table? These are some of the logistical reasons that we ARE having assigned tables. Because of the nature of our guests I suspect everyone will get  up and mingle anyways, but I do want to make sure that people at least can sit together or with people they know when they are eating instead of having to sit with strangers because thats the only seats left.
    Posted by toothpastechica[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>THIS.  Please have assigned seatings.  The few weddings I've been to without it have been terrible, esp. in the situations where I didn't know (literally) anyone else and FI was sitting at the head table.

    </div>
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    RivieraBoundRivieraBound member
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    edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_anyone-not-having-assigned-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b29ced88-0a75-454d-a72d-233b0679ed12Post:13511241-f232-4fc8-8ccd-72bef5051113">Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables? : THIS.  Please have assigned seatings.  The few weddings I've been to without it have been terrible, esp. in the situations where I didn't know (literally) anyone else and FI was sitting at the head table.
    Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]

    If you didn't know anyone else, how would assigned seating helped you in these situations?  I am genuinely curious.  I am not having a head table so at least at my wedding you could have sat with your FI lol.

    I agree with everyone, I assumed I would do assigned seating.  But now I am still having second thoughts.  In all the weddings I have been to, I have only been to 4 that had assigned seats and I have never experienced the horror of what you girls are describing at the open seat weddings.  Hmmm.  The jury is still out I guess.
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    I have been to a wedding, with assigned seating, and known NO ONE at my table. My wedding will probably be around 150 people, and I plan on having 2 more tables (16 chairs) than I actually need so people should pretty much be guaranteed there will be room. I can't be bothered to have the headache of assiging tables.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_anyone-not-having-assigned-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b29ced88-0a75-454d-a72d-233b0679ed12Post:f106e6a0-0211-4e2b-87f5-b140ec6a9939">Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think especially with bigger weddings, one of the benefits of having assigned tables is that you can make sure eveyone fits with people they know or are likely to get along with...can you imagine being the guest who doesnt know anyone, or the only people they know are at an already full table - who has to find thier own seat? Or the family of 5 that has to be split up because theres only 3 or 4 seats left at every table? These are some of the logistical reasons that we ARE having assigned tables. Because of the nature of our guests I suspect everyone will get  up and mingle anyways, but I do want to make sure that people at least can sit together or with people they know when they are eating instead of having to sit with strangers because thats the only seats left.
    Posted by toothpastechica[/QUOTE]

    These are also the reasons why we decided to assign seats. I'm having someone make the escort cards for me, so I'll just have to put together the seating chart :/
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    I am still on the fence about doing a seating chart or not. Assigned seating in my area is not common and I have been to several weddings around 100 guests where everything goes smoothly.

    We aren't doing a head table and all of the guests will know other guests.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_anyone-not-having-assigned-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b29ced88-0a75-454d-a72d-233b0679ed12Post:7f16dc7f-79f3-40d2-bff4-0577568cb9a0">Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We're not doing them. I've never been to a wedding in Texas where this was done. I'm going to reserve some tables for immediate family, but the rest of the guests can sit as they please. It's a buffett, so serving food isn't an issue. Bonus - one less thing for you to worry about!
    Posted by arisia[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>This I am only having 50 people including FI and myself</div>
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    I think it may be more of a southern thing to not have a seating chart of any sort. I am doing open seating - my FI was very adamant about this but I agree with the reasoning that it's a lot of extra stress for no reason, and people will be more comfortable choosing their seats. 

    Don't stress, I think it will be okay not having any assigned tables. 
    image
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    edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_anyone-not-having-assigned-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b29ced88-0a75-454d-a72d-233b0679ed12Post:8819974f-40e1-48f8-ad27-89be1a2a0a98">Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables? : If you didn't know anyone else, how would assigned seating helped you in these situations?  I am genuinely curious.  I am not having a head table so at least at my wedding you could have sat with your FI lol. I agree with everyone, I assumed I would do assigned seating.  But now I am still having second thoughts.  In all the weddings I have been to, I have only been to 4 that had assigned seats and I have never experienced the horror of what you girls are describing at the open seat weddings.  Hmmm.  The jury is still out I guess.
    Posted by RivieraBound[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It would be much easier to walk up to a table of strangers with an escort card in my hand and say "Looks like we've been seated together!  I'm Samantha, nice to meet you!" than to size up all the spots that are left, walk up to someone's table and interrupt their conversation to ask if the spots are taken or if I can sit there.  And then have to do it several times because either they didn't want me to sit by them or the seat was taken.</div><div>
    </div><div>Not to mention it's much different knowing that strangers at your table were assigned to sit there instead of them just randomly just picking your table full of all family or friends.  Plus, the host would do a better job of placing guests that don't know many people with the other guests that are going to be most likely to mingle and socialize with them.
    </div><div>
    </div><div>I don't really feel strongly about most wedding related things, but this is one issue that I do.</div>
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    If you're on the fence, I'd go with assigned tables.  The last wedding I was at without them got really awkward.  I sat at a table with instructions to save a seat for FI and three friends (they ran to their room to freshen up after the ceremony).  I found a table with five open seats and sat down.  At least five or six people came up to sit down and I had to turn them away.  It was uncomfortable. 
    And another wedding I was at, my FI was best man and we ended up sitting in the corner.  This was after the bride's aunt moved my purse and our coats to another table so she could sit with her family (without telling me). 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_anyone-not-having-assigned-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b29ced88-0a75-454d-a72d-233b0679ed12Post:5b630534-6cf3-4bcc-b4d6-39b23b80a43c">Re: Anyone NOT having assigned tables?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it may be more of a southern thing to not have a seating chart of any sort. I am doing open seating - my FI was very adamant about this but I agree with the reasoning that it's a lot of extra stress for no reason, and people will be more comfortable choosing their seats.  Don't stress, I think it will be okay not having any assigned tables. 
    Posted by caitlinc09[/QUOTE]

    This has mostly been my experience until I went to my friend's wedding this past September in Dallas; she had assigned seating.
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    Regardless of what you choose, please reserve tables for your family or at least immediate family. I went to my FI's cousin's wedding. It was all open seating. The family stayed in the church taking pictures and by the time we got to the reception hall, all of their friends were sitting in the prime seats. We were stuck in the back with the grooms grandparents. We couldn't see the entrance or first dance. It was ok because we're relatively distant family but it was a real shame that the grandparents missed it, especially since they drove from Ft. Lauderdale to Atlanta for the wedding.
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