May 2012 Weddings

Really Upset :(

So I invited strictly 125 people to the wedding - our venue holds 150 Max - and as it is a very expensive wedding and we are on a tight budget, I didn't want to take too many chances with over inviting. The people we invited were all people we were SURE would come...with a few exceptions.

 However, I'm now freaking out. With only a few days left before the RSVP due date....I've gotten about 75% of the RSVPs with 25 NOT ATTENDING. All of my friends and family with the exception of maybe 3 (unforseen circumstances) are attending ----- It's FI's side that has completely flaked on us so far, and all of his RSVPs are the ones still out and as his oot guests haven't booked a hotel, I'm not hopeful they are attending.

 I'm absolutely freaking out to the point of just wanting to bag the whole thing. Honestly, I limited my invitations to friends/family and left some people off  because I wanted to be sure all of FI's VIPs got invited and all those people are flaking out on us! I'm so mad/upset. I feel really embarassed and I know FI is upset about it. Sucks. I feel like I'm doing all this work/spending all this money on a wedding no one gives a shi*t about and can't even bother to show up to.
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Re: Really Upset :(

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    I know it is upsetting when some people RSVP no to your wedding, but if you've invited should expect about 37 people to RSVP "no" if you go by the standard rule that on average 30% of your guest list will decline the invite for various reasons.

    We have less people coming than we anticipated, too.  Just have to enjoy the day and focus on those people who ARE coming and who your wedding IS important to, and not the people who aren't.
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    We are actually having way less coming than expected to. The thing was, I was expecting about 30-40% to say no due to the fact that it was an out of town wedding, but during the invitation process I was freaking out thinking there was a possibility everyone was going to come. Although I knew that wasn't probably going to happen, it seems like it is just natural to overreact.
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    I know we all want 100% attendace for something we have worked hard for to plan. Unfortunatly, there will be no's. Our guest list was 50. We have maybe 30 coming. I'm sure I could have invited more, but we decided not to. It is what it is. I think that instead of looking at the people who are not coming, I would be happy with those who ARE coming and enjoy my day regardless. You're going to have a wonderful day, a great time, and are going to be so busy, does it make a difference if 100 people come and not 125?
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    I wish more people had said no! Our venue holds 130 max (like super squishy) and we had invited 129, and have 117 coming. It sucks when people who are important say no, but I agree with pp celebrate with those who do come, and really at a wedding that only has 100 instead of 125, you will not really notice too much. Its not like you are having 10 people instead of 35, you still have 100 people!! who love and care about you and want to see all the hard work you put in.

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    I wouldn't "bag the whole thing" because not everyone can make it. It's very unlikely a wedding will have 100% attendance. You mentioned about OOT booking a hotel... which means you have guests traveling... maybe not all of them can afford the trip. We have several guests on FI's side that are unfortunately unable to come from OOT to our wedding because they can not afford the trip. It is disappointing, but I would just focus on the people that will be there.
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    I agree with PP's.  We had declines from people who had promised they were going to be there after they received our STD.  Unfortunately, things come up that take priority for other people, just like our wedding is our priority right now.  Remember that those who are coming have made a point to be there for you, to celebrate your marriage.  You will be so excited and happy when the day finally arrives that you probably won't even think about who's not there at all.  

    And honestly, the only real thing to focus on is that, at the end of the day, you will be married to the man you will spend the rest of your life with.  Everything else is just fluff!
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    We invited 175 and right now we looking at if everyone who hasn't RSVP does come about 147...we are an out of town wedding so we expected it. All our close family n friends are coming so at this point,I'm loving a smaller wedding for money and social benefits. Did you have to promise a number of guests to your venue?
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