May 2012 Weddings
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just need to vent. . .

okay, so we are roughly 3 months to the wedding and i am starting to really stress, but it is mainly brought on by my MOH.  let me preface this by saying that my MOH has been my best friend for roughly 12 years, and we have known each other for 15.  i love her to death, but she sucks at communication.  at the end of january, i asked all of my bridesmaids to make sure that they ordered their dress, which all of them said that they did.  my MOH stated that she ordered hers online.  Not thinking any thing of it, I was relieved.  However, I realized (about 2 weeks ago) that you have never been able to order that dress online.  So, I called her. Days went by and nothing. I have tried to text her and email her and I have left her messages and she won't call me back.  I know that she lied to me about the dress.  The part that bothers me the most is the lie.  I even told her in my email if she has money issues, to let me help pay for the dress, I don't mind.  I spoke to my sister about this and the other issues I have had w/ her and my sister told me to kick her out of the wedding.  But I refuse to do that because I want her by my side.  I just don't know what I can do at this point to get her to communicate w/ me.  I would rather her say that she doesn't want to be in the wedding so I don't stress about her getting her dress.  Does anyone else have bridesmaid issues?  I just want to throw my hands up and not worry, but this makes it impossible.  Any advice on how I should handle this?  Like I stated earlier, kicking her out isn't an option, but at this point I don't know what is.  Please help me figure out a way to approach her so that it doesn't hurt our friendship but gets my point across.  Thanks!!
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Re: just need to vent. . .

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    I kinda think that either she buys the dress (or lets you help her) and everything is fine and she's in the wedding....or, she doesn't buy the dress (or let you help her) and she, in result, isn't in the wedding. If you have offered her help and reached out to her, then there's nothing else you can really do. Either she steps up and gets the dress (however that may be) or she doesnt. theres not much more you can do IMHO. 

    I know that's not really helping...but it's the truth!
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    I agree with pp.  Just call, text or email her, maybe preface with you checking in to make sure everything is ok since you haven't heard back from her after you left her other messages.  Then just politely explain that the dress needs to be ordered no later than _____ to ensure it arrives in time for alterations before the wedding.  When that date arrives, call the store and see if she ordered it and if not, she has essentially removed herself from your wedding.  If the dress is ordered, then you can mark that off your list and smile the rest of the day! :)  
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    I would ask her if she knows when her dress is coming in.  That way you are starting the conversation without accusing her of lying.

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    I agree with PP. I would ask if her if she's gotten the dress yet or when it's supposed to come in. That way, you aren't automatically accusing her of lying to you. But, if she got the dress or is getting it & it's here in time for the wedding, great! If she didn't get the dress or can't get it in time for the wedding, oh well, she's not in the wedding. That's what I would do. There is only so much you can do. In the end, it's her responsibility to order the dress.
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    I agree with ALL the PPs. She needs to get in touch with you asap...
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