May 2012 Weddings
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Shower/Bachelorette

Many of you may remember that I had originally said I did not want a surprise shower, and my MOH was very understanding. When my mom found out she hijacked the shower and made it a surprise, completely against my wishes. When I shared my feelings of not wanting a surprise shower my mom said it had to be, that's the way things are. Even when FI told his mom of my feelings she said the same thing!

Until recently there was no talk about my bachelorette party, except my sister asked me who I wanted to invite. I was afraid that was going to be a surprise too, but my sister called the other day to tell me it would be April 14. 

Then I got to thinking... my shower will definitely be on a weekend... there are 3 left until the wedding.... it would definitely not be the weekend before due to FMIL and FSIL traveling from VT to MA... and my sister's shower and bachelorette were the same weekend... therefore I am almost positive my shower is this Saturday. Also at one of my BMs shower over the weekend her mom made a mention about "that being me next weekend" I kind of pretended not to hear...

My slight dilemma is that I was planning to pick a dress to wear to my shower and either give it to my mom, sister, or MOH beforehand, that way they can bring it to the shower and I can change into it and be more comfortable amongst my guests.

Well the other day my mom was showing me pictures of her bridal shower where she showed up in overalls, she was like "see how I looked." So now I am thinking of just giving my dress and shoes to MOH and leaving my mom and sister out of it, in fear they would choose not to bring my outfit to the shower.

Also I guess there has been some drama between my mom/sister and my BMs. I have no idea who is even hosting my shower, or who is invited. I feel like my mom/sister are throwing what is a traditional shower no matter what my BMs say, even though they know what kind of shower I have always envisioned having.

So is it okay to just bypass my mom/sister and give my shower outfit to my MOH? I am so ready for this shower to be over with :-/
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Re: Shower/Bachelorette

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    If I was in that situation, I definitely would.  I would just get dressed up and go out to brunch with your FI...that way, it looks like you were dressed up for brunch and you had "no idea" that your shower would be later that day. ;)
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    Yes. I would go that route. It sounds like your mom and sister won't respect your wishes, so I would make sure your MOh has your dress!
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    I think if you know that your MOH will honor your wishes, you should just trust her with your dress, any other things you may need.
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    I would def do that, or wear it that day and keep wearing until your shower! I had asked FI if he knew anything about my shower a few times, and he always said no. I had told him I wanted to dress nice, since his family always likes to dress up. Well, my shower came as a complete surprise (it was at my house) and I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I hadn't gone shopping for a cute outfit yet! I felt like such a slob!

    Give your MOH your outfit if she will respect your wishes so you can dress up and feel good about it.
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    S0095042S0095042 member
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    edited April 2012
    yes- by pass them.  How do your bms feel about being over ran? I'm not going to lie, that's kind of crappy for your mom to do. Esp. after you tried to take to her about the  "supprise shower" idea -- then again, I'm spiteful enough to plan something that day (once i figured it out) just to teach my mom a lesson. but then again, that wouldn't be nice to do to the guests...(maybe i'm just in a bridzilla mood today, lol)
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    I would give it to your MOH or I would keep it in my car at all times....honestly I would probably fully dress up every weekend from now until the wedding. lol

     

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    Definitely give your outfit to your MOH! She seems to be the most understanding. You could also probably ask her if she'll confirm your suspicions, she might! That way you can just show up looking cute.

    I don't think showers are supposed to be a surprise, I have never been to a surprise one nor have I ever been under the impression this was normal. It may be a regional thing, but I would be really uncomfortable with it! I understand where you are coming from completely. 
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    Thanks everyone! I will definitely be giving my dress and shoes to my MOH. 

    S0095042: the thought of not showing up or planning something on the day of just to spite them as definitely crossed my mind :) But I just couldn't do that to the rest of my guests.
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    I might just suck it up and carry around a large purse that had my dress & shoes in it all weekend long just in case ;)
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