you just got your invite and you're already complaining? really?

enchantedonyx

Hi everyone.

It seems like invites reached a lot of destinations today and I've heard lots of "oh, how beautiful!" sentiments (my amazing sister handmade my invites and they are beyond gorgeous).

Unfortunately, we've already had a "well, why isn't our daughter's name on the invite?  Does that mean she isn't invited? I don't think we can go if she can't come along..."
FMIL emailed me that her friend was "confused" about daughter's name not being on the invite. Well, she wasn't on there because we aren't inviting kids.

IWe decided 6 months ago that we weren't inviting kids and have already told most of our close friends that their children weren't invited. Including my best friend of twenty years whose children call me Aunt.

We feel like although letting this child come isn't the end of the world and will keep peace for his mom with her friend, it makes things really hard for all of my friend who I've already told no.

I'm sure we'll figure it out, just needed to vent. if you have any advice, I would appreciate it.

AurorasEnvy

Sorry to hear!  My advice would be stand your ground, since if you make an exception for one child all the other parents who grudingly left their children at home will be rightly irritated. 

mandi921vh

People are so rude! I don't have kids, but I plan to leave all of my future children at home whenever I get a wedding invite. People take it so personally that their child isn't included.

enchantedonyx

Thanks guys.

Agreed on the personal thing- she acts like it's a great personal insult that we didn't invite her nine-year-old who my FI hasn't seen in five years.

AurorasEnvy

Yeah, and because a room full of drinking, dancing, and socializing adults is a good environment for a child.

enchantedonyx

FI and I talked about it at length and decided to stand our ground. Apparently, he didn't want to invite them in the first place! Obligation invite from his mom. But we are having  a smallish wedding (110 invited, I think, was the final tally) and if we start inviting kids, we need more food, tables, chairs, linens, etc. And yes, they would probably be bored.

We did decide that because it's one of his invitees and his mom we have to deal with that he needed to handle it. He isn't happy but it feels like it needs to come from him so it looks like it's a united decision and not "oh, his fiancee is a crazy bitch!" (of course, if his invitees continue to act so crazy, I might get there really quick!)

rosacaro13

Oh don't let this get in ur way girlie. I'm doing the same to my invites have mr. and mrs. and will put down adults only. My sister didn't do that and thru the whole church ceremony all you hear is a toddler screaming and running around, poor video guy was trying so hard to catch the vows and nothing was heard aside from crying kid. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, my nieces and nephews mean everything to me, but there is a time and place for everything. When ur friends go to concerts or clubs don't they leave them with babysitters? This is your day and you have worked so hard to have your wedding.

enchantedonyx

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_you-just-got-your-invite-and-youre-already-complaining-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:ec19b3af-b68f-4ce7-a16b-3c716951290fPost:825fd938-bc66-45c4-aeca-7550e4bbeeed">Re: you just got your invite and you're already complaining? really?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh don't let this get in ur way girlie. I'm doing the same to my invites have mr. and mrs. and will put down adults only. My sister didn't do that and thru the whole church ceremony all you hear is a toddler screaming and running around, poor video guy was trying so hard to catch the vows and nothing was heard aside from crying kid. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, my nieces and nephews mean everything to me, but there is a time and place for everything. When ur friends go to concerts or clubs don't they leave them with babysitters? This is your day and you have worked so hard to have your wedding. :)
Posted by rosacaro13[/QUOTE]

How rude of the guest with the crying toddler to not carry them out!

When I mentioned to my college roommate that I would understand if she couldn't make it to the wedding because they would need to stay over in a hotel (about a 5 hour drive for them) and find a babysitter for the kids, her response was, "well, we've been looking for an excuse to get a hotel room and leave the kids with my mom for a weekend so your wedding is just perfect!"
Another friend (a stay-at-home mom) said she was looking forward to a kid-free evening.

And I do love kids- I'm a children's librarian. I have worked in daycare/babysat/taught preschool since I was a teenager and we're hoping to bring back an extra=special fetus-shaped souvenir from our honeymoon. :)  But I just decided to do an adults-only wedding.

rosacaro13

Just stand your ground, your the bride and have the upper hand. We are even doing the all inclusive adult only resort in the Dominican republic for honeymoon, just want to enjoy our romantic dinners. Lol hope everything turns out great for out, I'm sure it will.

SunshineShades

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_you-just-got-your-invite-and-youre-already-complaining-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:ec19b3af-b68f-4ce7-a16b-3c716951290fPost:1d0d7aa0-a471-402e-815e-2d1d0dc1a08e">Re: you just got your invite and you're already complaining? really?</a>:
[QUOTE] and we're hoping to bring back an extra=special fetus-shaped souvenir from our honeymoon. :)
Posted by enchantedonyx[/QUOTE]

HAHA I love this

vineyard12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_you-just-got-your-invite-and-youre-already-complaining-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:ec19b3af-b68f-4ce7-a16b-3c716951290fPost:c24582b1-2b07-431c-9dce-71be60b22e0b">Re: you just got your invite and you're already complaining? really?</a>:
[QUOTE]People are so rude! I don't have kids, but I plan to leave all of my future children at home whenever I get a wedding invite. People take it so personally that their child isn't included.
Posted by mandi921vh[/QUOTE]

This! I don't know why parents aren't more like "a night away from the kids? Awesome! Honey, we need a babysitter!" Luckily, we don't have any children in the family, and our friend in Taiwan is leaving their daughter home with the grandparents.

MRSMELFREEMAN

I plan to put "An Adult Only Affair" at the bottom of our invitations. I agree, and environment where adults are dancing, socializing and drinking is no place for a child. Stand your ground!

enchantedonyx

So, FI emailed his mom to let her know and she is pretty upset about us saying no. The thing is, when she gave me these names/addresses 6 months ago, she assured me that none of these people would even be able to attend but would be hurt to not be invited. So we included them. Now she's saying that this whole group wants to attend and therefore there isn't anyone to watch the child...

It's finding the balance between upsetting his mom and her best friend OR upsetting all of my friends who are not bringing their children when they see that we allowed one child to attend. A child who will be bored because she will be the only one under 18 present...

should have eloped...:)

Bett2012

I find it so confusing that children can be so old with never staying with a babysitter before... kids are too sheltered and told that they are the most important person ever for my liking. When I was little, my parents didn't go out that much, but whenever we did get a babysitter, it was a special treat.

Stand your ground. If you cave with one, you must cave to them all.

kimberlykh

Please stand your ground! In the name of all the 'adults only' brides in this world!