advice please.

nicolasax4

So my vowel renewal is in about 4 months and my hubby has a friend who is very important to him. this friend is really tight on money right now and cant afford to rent a tux for our day. so my hubby told him not to worry about it we will take care of it. it is very important to us for him to be the best man. well he has decided that he will not let us pay for it. my hubby says hes to proud to accept help. but i know if it was me and i needed help i would take it. especially since it is very important to us. what can we do? weve even told him he could wear something else as long as he was with us. and he said no because he would feel weird looking different from the other guys we just don't know what to do.

gpapale1

If he feels uncomfortable accepting your help or just wearing something he already has, there's really not much you can do.  Can you have him do a reading or participate in the ceremony some other way?  That way, he can wear something he already has, but he won't feel awkward because he won't have to stand up next to everyone else the entire time.

gsg717

It doesn't seem like you're going to have any luck changing his mind. I'm with PP, see if he's willing to do a reading, or if there's another way you can incorporate him in the ceremony. Or include him in the list of Guests of Honor if you're having one. Maybe ask him to make a toast at the reception.

Also, he may not be comfortable having ANY attention on him for that day. Not everyone likes to stand up in front of a crowded room. If he's resistant to other ideas, I wouldn't push it any further. Just let him know that his presence is really what's important to you and that the offer stands if he changes his mind.

nicolasax4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_advice-please-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:f9bb11e2-cb42-4c21-9b79-b1e389deb9bePost:62ef9c57-7251-4d78-b665-a0c03ddd0657">Re: advice please.</a>:
[QUOTE]It doesn't seem like you're going to have any luck changing his mind. I'm with PP, see if he's willing to do a reading, or if there's another way you can incorporate him in the ceremony. Or include him in the list of Guests of Honor if you're having one. Maybe ask him to make a toast at the reception. Also, he may not be comfortable having ANY attention on him for that day. Not everyone likes to stand up in front of a crowded room. If he's resistant to other ideas, I wouldn't push it any further. Just let him know that his presence is really what's important to you and that the offer stands if he changes his mind.
Posted by gsg717[/QUOTE]


well we defiantly know he has no problem with attention hes the kind of person who craves it he is a very goofy loud person every wear he goes.

mancila60

Is he saying no he won't let you do that and is not going to do that or just that he's not going to let you pay? I would let him know how important it is to you both that he is there and standing with the 2 of you. Then tell him paying for his tux is no big deal and you don't mind because he means that much to you both. Maybe if he understands the importance and meaning to you both he will be more inclined. Tell him the money is not a big deal but him not being up there is. If he doesn't want you to pay his way just tell him that he can pay you back when he gets the money (no rush) that way he may still feel like he is paying for it himself.

nicolasax4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_advice-please-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:f9bb11e2-cb42-4c21-9b79-b1e389deb9bePost:1819bfb0-f14e-4d3f-bc43-f677c5504e27">Re: advice please.</a>:
[QUOTE]Is he saying no he won't let you do that and is not going to do that or just that he's not going to let you pay? I would let him know how important it is to you both that he is there and standing with the 2 of you. Then tell him paying for his tux is no big deal and you don't mind because he means that much to you both. Maybe if he understands the importance and meaning to you both he will be more inclined. Tell him the money is not a big deal but him not being up there is. If he doesn't want you to pay his way just tell him that he can pay you back when he gets the money (no rush) that way he may still feel like he is paying for it himself.
Posted by mancila60[/QUOTE]


ya he told us there was no way he was gonna let us pay for it. we have told him sevaral times it is very important to us for him to be up there with us but that just dosent seem to mater to him we guess, we told him not to worry about it but if he really wanted to he could pay us back later and he just refuses we have no clue why hes acting like this.

toothpastechica

watch for coupons and sales at whatever store your looking at suits, maybe if he can get it cheaper, he will be willing to do it???
If not....what people have said and make sure he knows that his presence is enough if thats all he can do.