Change in reception venue =(

Mikesgal419

So FI and I were hoping and praying that we could have dancing at our church hall for the reception. We got the answer today. Nope. Can't have dancing. I want to dance with him. I want to at least have our 1 dance together. The problem is that we don't really have the money for anywhere else. I am so heartbroken. We have to save up to get a place after we are married. (My kids and I are staying with my mom and while I LOVE her and appreciat4e everything she has done, I am going nuts. And adding a new parental figure into their lives while being here will be near impossible). Our budget is only $8000 (and we have to come up with at least $3000 to move into a rental house big enough for us and 5 kids) and I already spent twice my regular budget on my dress. The dress that I was hoping to wear all night. Now I might be wearing it about 2 1/2 hours if we don't find someplace for the reception. There is a place that would be $5000 for 125 people (catering included). It even comes with a free one night stay for FI and I, but then I won't get flowers or centerpieces (they do supply small simple ones), no DJ, and no gifts for the wedding party. We would only have $2000 left to do the ceremony (only $150), the tuxes, limo, and everything else. Is that even enough???
 I don't know what to do. My first wedding was a joke and my first marriage turned out to be a joke. I want to start this one of right. This is it for me. I wish I would have kept my eyes on FI 15 years ago, instead of having them glued to my ex. I know that the most important thing is getting to start our life together and that the dancing shouldn't matter, but it does. Oh and FI doesn't care about the dancing.

rmp4996

I'm sorry about how upset you are. If the dance is that important to you, then I would book that other place for the reception, fill up someones i-pod with a wedding playlit for the night, and come up with a DIY centerpiece. Or just use the ones the place gives you. People will understand, and they just want to be there to celebrate with you guys, they aren't going to care if there aren;t any elaborate centerpieces. You will just have to really stick to your budget with that last $2000. I think your wedding party would understand as well if you talked to them about your problems/ideas and won't expect a gift. I agree that you want to do this right this time, and you should, and I think you can make it work.

cnf2013

You can make it work, you just might have to be creative. We're hosting our RD in a party pavilion in the state park where we're getting married and the building is big enough for our 130 person guest list and is only $175 for the whole day (dawn til dusk). The summer camp FI and I met at also hosts weddings and their lodge is big enough and comes with a kitchen that catering could use. You should look into parks, camps and even places like community centers or rec centers. They can be cheap alternatives that are still nice. I agree with just having an ipod going. Pay some neighbor kid you like $20 to be in charge of it all night or something. Dollar store for center pieces, or places like hobby lobby during their wedding mark down sales. Or even thrift stores or garage sales. If you have some loving family members who like to cook you could even theoretically have them cook all the food the day before/the morning of and then just have a buffet in disposable sternos. 

I'm really sorry it's not working out exactly how you planned or hoped, but I have faith that you can still make something work and still have it be beautiful and meaningful. 

ems27

PPs have had some great suggestions- and I think that the price sounds great to be able to feed your guests and have a place where you can dance.  iPods can be a great DIY, and if anyone you know has some mini vans, I would consider nixing the limo. 
What centerpieces does the venue come with?  You could always, as PPs suggested, get some stuff at the dollar store and even use that to supplement what is provided.  Sign up for coupons from AC Moore and Michael's and look into getting silk flowers on discount, or ask the florist what is in season as that can be a lot less expensive (I might be doing peonies insteaad of roses since they could be a quarter of the cost).
Look into buying children's clothing at Target or JCP for your kids instead of a wedding shop for flower girl dresses/renting a tux for a little boy. 
And pop over to the "Budget Weddings" board for some other great suggestions.

I'm so sorry your initial venue isn't working out the way you hoped, but you can still have a lovely wedding within your budget! 

ems27

Although if photography etc is really important, definitely try looking into some of the types of places cnf suggested to try to cut down even more on venue and food!

lodonnell616

I agree w/some of the PPs suggestions.  I would also get on top of that budget and stick to it.  One of the things you mentioned in your list is a limo which needs to be included as part of the budget, isn't this something you could skip and allocate the money elsewhere?

Might be a good idea to get a list of needs vs. wants going so you can have an idea of where you can save some money.

cnf2013

I also second silk flowers. I actually found some on amazon that are way nicer than the ones from the craft stores and actually cost less too. Budget board as well, like mentioned. They may have some other good ideas. 

n3rdl3t

Sorry to hear no dancing at the church =\

You may want to check out local B&Bs.. I scoured the internet when looking for my venues and found them to typically be the cheapest type of venue (we got ours for about $600 for the whole day). They should be able to accomodate the size of your guest list and a lot of them either cater themselves or let you bring in whatever. 

Good luck figuring out an alternative

anastassiiat

I think PPs had some great suggestions about how to make your budget work. I think it is definitely doable if you put some thought into it. One other option to consider, is it possible to have a smaller wedding? Or did you guys already send the STDs out? If not maybe you can just invite family and close friends and go with the venue that you've mentioned?

Mikesgal419

Thanks everyone. We haven't sent out the STDs yet, and I'm already working on making my guest list smaller. FI and I need to figure out some time to talk about everything. I'm still doing a lot of research.

belle7fl

I'm sorry your venue didn't work out but PPs have given some great ideas. Set up the iPod use the venues centerpieces and maybe dress them up with some dollar store extras. You don't really need a limo, I don't think we are even going to bother because then we have to worry about how we're getting home. And if you have a local art school you can try to see if a couple photograph majors want to build their portfolio for a very small fee. I know when I was starting out in an artistic business I took whatever I could find for the experience and to build up my portfolio. Or you could try Craigslist. Depending on how old your kids are you could even have them help you DIY the invites so it would be personalized for each guest from your family. I hope everything works out.