This is more of a vent, but advice on how to tackle the situation would be helpful. My fiance and I are urban-centric. We want the venue, ceremony location, hotels, and local attractions (for the guests during non-wedding related time) all centrally located to each other; not requiring out-of-town guests to do a lot of driving in an unfamiliar town.
The reception venue and ceremony location have been selected, but we have not put the down-payment on yet (working on the final contract details), and it meets our criteria. His parents are not fond of where we are having the reception-a whole other story, which I will not go into today. The reception venue fits 270 max. We've decided that second-cousins (of the parents and ours) will not be invited to keep the guest list and cost down. My family is paying for the food (including the desserts/cake), the reception and ceremony venue, decorations/flowers; his parents are paying for the booze, the favors, and the DJ.
The current guest count is at 278. First question, do I worry about those extra 8 people? Second question, fiance's parents have invited significantly more people (~58 more compared to my parents' list). Do I try to even out the count, so both parents have equal number invites?
When I ask my fiance to look at the list, he pushes it off- or says its fine (in regards to the extra 8 people). He has no problem standing up to his parents (I've seen him do it many times!), but I'm frustrated he isn't seeing what I'm seeing=it may be unfair to my family that his is inviting significantly more guests. His parents have offered to cover the difference of the extra guests, which is very thoughtful and helpful.
I'm scared to talk to my FMIL about this; family is VERY important to her and I fear it could blow up. Any advice or experience dealing with a similar situation?
Thanks!!