Black Tie Optional

rmp4996

When you girls get an invitation that says "Black Tie Optional, what do you think of in terms of clothing? Like what would you think to wear, and what would you think FI should wear to that wedding as guests?

[Deleted User]

Well I myself would look at the colors of the wedding invitation and try to guess their wedding colors or go onto their wedding website to find them out. I would then wear a dress in a hue of their wedding color, because I like to wear a hue similar to the color the couple picked but obviously different so that I don't look like I'm part of the wedding. I would then put FI in some tan or black slacks and have him wear a dress shirt and tie that coordinates with what I'm wearing. For FI's cousins wedding their colors were amythst so I wore a violet dress that had a pink and bright purple pattern on it. FI wore tan slacks with a lavander shirt and a mixed lavander with purple tie. 

bar10521

"Black tie optional" makes me think it's more of a formal occassion. I'd have FI wear his suit, dress shirt, tie etc since a tux is optional and he doesn't have one. For myself I'd wear a floor length formal dress but not a ball gown or anything like that. 

emilyb213

I'd put him in a suit, and I'd do a dressy cocktail length dress with some fancy jewelry and an updo.

anastassiiat

In Response to Re: Black Tie Optional:
[QUOTE]"Black tie optional" makes me think it's more of a formal occassion. I'd have FI wear his suit, dress shirt, tie etc since a tux is optional and he doesn't have one. For myself I'd wear a floor length formal dress but not a ball gown or anything like that. 
Posted by bar10521[/QUOTE]

This, I would do the same thing.

rmp4996

Thanks everyone. FI and I are considering putting this on our invites because we have some family that doesn't quite grasp the formality of a wedding, and I would like to have a wedding on the formal side. I feel like saying this would be better than writing "formal attire required" or something like that. I don't expect tuxes, but I feel like this is a more polite way of saying please dress nice, lol. I know, I know, saying anything about attire is an etiquette nono, but we might do it anyway. Do you guys think its a really bad idea? Like will people be mad/offended?

ashlidie

I can't see people being offended, it's nice to get out and attend a formal affair.  They will look like the idiot if they still show up wearing shorts and a polo when everyone else is in suits.

I am doing my best to provide a strong hint on my invitations, that we will be in a barn.  And then on the website I specifiy they should wear nothing more than what they wear to church.  Meaning sundresses, khakis and a polo are suitable.

Julie2013

If I got an invitation that stated, "Black Tie, Optional", I would wear a cocktail or floor-length gown and have dh wear a suit and tie.  And I wouldn't consider it rude at all. I'd actually appreciate the heads-up!

Julie

Sassenach1743

Black Tie Optional means that its a formal event and a tuxedo (bow or straight tie) is appropriate. Mainly it means a jacket and tie is required. You should wear a cocktail length or floor length gown that is in line with formal wear. Your man should wear a dark suit or tuxedo, NOT a pair of dark or kahki dress pants and a colored shirt (that is too casual). He must have a jacket and tie.

Think Academy Awards. Think Mad Men. Think Classy Holiday Party. Think Formal!

And, no offense to BethSuch, but as a guest you should never wear a color that is the same as the bridal party. Nor should you ever wear any shade of white or ivory (that is very poor taste), unless specifically asked to do so by the bride (e.g. if she is having a black and white wedding and asking all guests to wear either black or white -like Kim Kardashian did). As a guest, it is not your responsibility to guess the wedding colors and try to match them or blend in.

RMP, if you want to make sure that your family and friends know that you expect them to dress up, you can absolutely use a term like "Dress to Impress" which would be less invasive than "Formal Wear Required". Just be aware that if you say "Black Tie Optional" you are insinuating that your entire event is formal and guests will expect to see that across the board. You don't want to use "Black Tie Optional" for a more casual themed event and risk your guests showing up in tuxes and evening gowns only to realize that you just said that to ensure they didn't wear sundresses and kahkis.

Hope this helps

rmp4996

Thank you everyone, if I do go the Black Tie Optional route, I will make sure that my wedding has a formal feel/appearance. That is what I want anyway. I kind of like "Dress to Impress" as well though, thanks for that idea!!!!!

I was actually on the same page as all of you, I would wear a floor length gwn or dressy cocktail dress, and FI would wear a dark suit and tie if we got an invite liek that, but I wanted to make sure that most people read it that way too.

Thanks for your advice all, helpful as always