My Fiance

sweetxdreams

We're waiting until june 22nd 2013 to get married, and I've been looking at websites, reception venues online etc. I've got lists of everything in a little book with photos and such, but everytime I bring up to word wedding he goes quiet and doesn't want to talk much about it.. He thinks I'm going wayyy too fast and then I see women already buying their dress and their wedding is in 2013. How do I go about to talk to him about it, without him getting nervous and quiet? (He's 22 and I'm 19, he told me he never wanted to get married and I'm the only girl he's willing to make an exception for.)

EmilyW416

Mine the same way, he wants us to get our house situation figured out first. So I understand that. I agree with pp do the list rate from 1-10 thing! I think that would help alot!

tajaroux

The best piece of advice I ever received for getting a guy involved is this: Let him know that he will have to be involved in certain aspects (such as reception site location and budget) but that if he doesn't care about colors or shoes or seating charts or flowers, you will take care of all of that. Then ask him: What is most important to you?

I got the surprise of my life when I asked the question: the cake. The cake is the most important thing to him. As it turns out, it is the least important thing to me (I don't like cake.) So I am giving him pretty much full control of the cake. I'll be approving final designs, color, etc. but it is actually something he wants to do! He is so excited for cake tastings and cake concepts - I couldn't believe it! I thought for sure it would be the music or the food or something. But no, its the cake!

So now, if I've taked a bit too much about bridesmaid dresses or ceremony music, all I have to do is bring up the cake, and he is perfectly content to talk about wedding stuff!

leed0019

With my FI we did things in spurts.  I said I wanted to look at venues and pick one out by this date because even though it seems like a ways away venues book up quickly. 

I then said the next task would be photographers and I want to narrow it down to three by this date so we can do engagement pictures, and set this date a little further out.

Just start out small and give some breaks in between.  There is plenty of time to get these things done, but let your FI know why you want to do these things now as opposed to later.

HopefulLife

I agree with spreading it out, finding out what he's interested in, and not overloading him (and bribing is always a backup). I guess I got uber lucky because my fi loves to be involved in the planning (but get's all rawr because I think of many things at once and he can only focus on one thing at a time). Also, we agreed that I'll do most of the wedding, with his honest input on everything and we'll swap for the honeymoon (AKA he plans - I'll just give opinions)