when you don't need gifts

Mikesgal419

FI and I have everything we need. I'd LIKE some fiesta ware dishes, but we don't need them. So...How do we discourage people from bringing gifts and encourage them to give money (IF they want to give anything at all-we aren't expecting muchif anything), so we can start saving up for our own place?? I think this is just rude and tacky, but FI is insistant that we find a way to make it work.
Thanks

ashlidie

I have this same issue, we live together, have what we need, and until we get a house we have no where to put stuff.  It sort of makes me mad because I have 2 (quite generous) aunts already saying "Im giving you money but I just HAVE to get you a physical object too."  Makes me want to pull my hair out when I tell them over and over than I dont want crystal or china or anything like that when thats sort of what they are hinting at. UGH  

Anyway, Im making the hint very clear, I will register for like the 12 things we might use (which will basically only cover the bridal shower), and FIs mom is spreading the word and my dad is spreading the word we are saving for a house and dont want things haha especially my dad because if we get things, they will sit at his house :-p

Is it rude?  maybe, but If you're gonna spend $50 on my gift, $5 on wrapping it, $5 on a card... id much rather just have $40 cash, and we both win.

lodonnell616

I think spreading the word is fine, but writing it anywhere is a big no no.  Most of our stuff is IKEA so we're happy to have an upgrade if someone's giving it.

We're thinking of registering for some upgrades, but are finding it difficult since we live in Germany and all the websites we could use over here are in German...about 75% of our guest list only speak English, so that doesn't really work.  If we use a US site, people have to pay for extra shipping costs and we might end up with a huge customs bill so that's not an option...

emilyb213

I think as long as you have your parents, his parents, etc. spread the word that you're saving for a house, that's fine. I'd still make a small registry, since some guests prefer to give something tangible. People will get the hint if you only register for a few things.

P.S. Register for the Fiestaware. That's the only kind of dishes/serving ware I own and it's fantastic.

cnf2013

We already have a house and more freaking stuff than we can squeeze into it. But we could definitely use some upgrades. And FI is sooo excited to register and use the scan gun. Spread the word, keep your registry small and only put small, inexpensive items on it. 

sopraffina

FI's aunt and SIL keep asking about a registry. They suggested two Canadian stores that are so expensive, I would feel bad registering for even a fork. I registered here at BB&B, but for some reason, the Canadian site is separate. FI can't register on the same account, so we would have separate registries. I only have a pitiful amount on there, but if anyone asks, I'm just going to say we don't really need anything.

sssdee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_when-you-dont-need-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:6c847861-6b86-492c-8068-e335e5a8b481Post:c4b42a35-70dc-40f0-9682-b7e46ddf95e2">Re: when you don't need gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]FI's aunt and SIL keep asking about a registry. They suggested two Canadian stores that are so expensive, I would feel bad registering for even a fork. I registered here at BB&B, but for some reason, the Canadian site is separate. FI can't register on the same account, so we would have separate registries. I only have a pitiful amount on there, but if anyone asks, I'm just going to say we don't really need anything.
Posted by sopraffina[/QUOTE]

Sopraffina,

Out of sheer curiousity, are you Canadian? Your location says Detroit but now I'm curious lol

sopraffina

FI is in Toronto. We met at a Scrabble tournament in Cambridge. 

melissanjoe21

Well since we have already combined households we have everything as well.

I talked him into doing a registery because everyone is asking.  I figured there are a few things that are worth replacing and a few thigns we want.

Julie2013

It seems like when I've seen this question asked on a few other websites I visit, the general advice is to register for very little and that gives guests the hint that you'd really rather have money.

(Sorry, no personal experience to share on this one!)

[Deleted User]

One of my coworkers registered with www.honeyfund.com and she was able to register not only for the honeymoon and activities to do on the honeymoon, but also to save for a house. Her and her (now husband) said that they didn't get backlash from anyone about it (saying it was rude or anything) and they didn't feel comfortable at first, but wound up getting good responses from people about it. In people's cards, they wrote things like "I hope you think of me when you go snorkeling!" LOL just a suggestion

Mikesgal419

Thanks for all the input gals. CLR+VCR, I like that idea. I'll run in past FI.

NicoleMarcelle

my 2 cents, it seems to be a regional thing in some cases, however, etiquette would say that it is not ok to do a hm registry, especially on a site like honeymoonfund, the reasons behind it being that it is (1) rude to ask people for money and (2) the way those sites work is by having people "purchase" things for the couple to do, however, the gift-giver is not actually buying anything, the site takes a cut, and sends a check for the total amount given to the couple, so essentially, they may be deceptive (e.g.: the couple may take the check and do what they want with it, not necessarily go on a hm).