Need a Little Help!

cadamus

Hey Ladies!

I need a little advise. My parents divorced when I was 8 (I am now 23) and my mom has since gotten remarried. I lived with my dad all my life. but me and my step dad have a great relationship. I would love if both my dad and step-dad would walk me down the isle. But I don't want to step on my dads toes since it's always a fathers dream to walk his little girl down the isle. I don't know how to bring up the subject to my dad about also having my step-dad walk me down with him. I really don't want to hurt my dads feelings. Any advise to how I might be able to do this?

LindzMarie19

That's a sticky subject : /   I have not idea how to approach that... but, before you do, really think about how important it is for you have both of them as opposed to just having your dad walk you down the isle. Like you said, you've lived with your dad your whole life, he has watched you grown up, it is a father's dream. Not many fathers would want to share that moment, however, he probably would if you wanted him too, but thats not to say that it wouldn't upset him on the inside. it is cool that you are trying to involve both your step father and your father in your wedding though.

sssdee

Hmmm that is a sticky subject!

While I have no experience on it I am hoping to offer something helpful.

Like LindzMarie mentioned, think long and hard about how important it is to YOU to have them both walk you down the isle. If it is super important to you to have them both there than your dad/stepdad should respect your decision (It doesn't mean he has to like it per say, but let's hope he would respect it since that is what YOU want)

Only you would know how your dad may feel about having to 'share' that moment. He may be upset about it or he may be happy to share the honour. Do they get along?

It drives me nuts when people say this but maybe give it some time before letting your dad/step dad know what's the plan. Who knows you may change your mind completely or keep it the same a couple months prior.

leed0019

In Response to Re: Need a Little Help!:
It drives me nuts when people say this but maybe give it some time before letting your dad/step dad know what's the plan. Who knows you may change your mind completely or keep it the same a couple months prior.
Posted by sssdee

You have a long time to think about this, maybe through in little hints or things around your dad to test the water and see how he would respond.  You have a plenty of time to figure this one out. 

cadamus

Thanks ladies! My step dad and my dad do get a long really well. I have been thinking about it for a while. I know I have some time to think about it. I was also thinking maybe just having my step dad walk my mom down the isle. But I don't know yet.

Jaridds68

I agree with the PP's, and also think that would be very nice to have you step-dad walk your mom down the aisle.

My two cents...I don't know your family dynamic, but I think you should talk to your dad about what he would like to do. Yes, it should also be about what you want, but if you're undecided it will probably help clarify. Also, as you said your dad and step-dad get along, so you might be surprised when talking to your dad: he clearly knows your step-dad is a part of your life, he may be anticipating that you are considering having both dads walk you down the aisle. Again, you know them best, but it might help clear things up.

ashlidie

I agree with Jaridds, I think you should let him tell you how he feels.  Granted it is your day, but it's his day too, he gets to walk you down the aisle.  I honestly think he has the right to express his opinions as your biological father.  IF he has an issue, perhaps offer to have your step father walk you to the the back pew where he gives you to your father, who actually presents you to your groom.

sparkles776

I agree it is a sticky subject. But it is your day and I would do things how you want to do them, but I can definitely understand not wanting to step on your dads toes.  I am not very close to my dad, so my mom is walking me. If i was in your situation, I would have my step dad walk me the first half of the way and then have my dad walk me the rest of the way and present me to my groom. good luck and let us know what you decide!

cash82809

I was planning on doing the same thing. I always have been daddy's little girl, but at the same time, my step dad has helped my life out so much and took me in as his own. He treats my son like he is his 100% blood grandson. I mean he is like a father to me, so I planned on having them both walk me down the aisle, but only have the father/daughter dance with my dad.

cash82809

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_need-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:7ae79560-636f-4491-8120-33805483cbbbPost:8bf284f1-e9c8-48f2-aff4-8b69d8c817d4">Re: Need a Little Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree it is a sticky subject. But it is your day and I would do things how you want to do them, but I can definitely understand not wanting to step on your dads toes.  I am not very close to my dad, so my mom is walking me.<strong> If i was in your situation, I would have my step dad walk me the first half of the way and then have my dad walk me the rest of the way and present me to my groom.</strong> good luck and let us know what you decide!
Posted by sparkles776[/QUOTE]
That is also a very good idea that I might take into considersation as well.