June 2013 Weddings
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Vent, it's long, sorry in advance

Please tell me if I'm being a little b!tch. This all sort of came to fruition last night and it's driving me crazy. I'll give you cliff notes up here because this will be long.

CN: I'm going shopping tomorrow and made the appointments before I knew the day conflicted with French Fest. MOH has never been and wants to go. I've been and it kind of sucks. None of our friends were going to go but as of last night suddenly everyone is. FI and I don't want to go- I'm going shopping and he's going to work on the deck. Everyones plans are all over the place now and it's really frustrating. 

FI and I have an almost entirely mutaual friend group. Here's the run down of everyone involved... it may get confusing:
F- His house the one we'd be going to if we went to FF. This festival takes place in a little po-dunk, one bar town and the whole point of FF is the get waster and stumble around in the streets. He's a GM
S- Married to A. They just had a baby seven months ago Him and A are going to go up for the day to FF. S is a GM and A is a BM.
Best Man (BM)- Has a weird complex about being left out. Wants to go to FF just to not be left out. he's driving M (also a GM). M loves to party and when him and F get togeter it's a who can stay up and get the drunkest for the longest competetion. 
MOH- is dating BM. Has never been to FF and wants to go. I planned out dress shopping excursion a month and a half in advance because she's always busy and at the time I was unaware it conflicted with FF and that everyone would want to go last minute. We haven't gone in like 3 years and I'm confused as to why suddenly, now, everyone wants to go. It's crowded and gross and impossible to get a drink and we sleep outside in tents and it's just not that much fun. 

S, A, and BM are all saying they're just going for the day, but BM is driving M who is going to want to stay and get wasted and then will not have a ride home. BM is only going as to not be left out. He was supposed to come out and help FI with the deck tomorrow while MOH and I are shopping. Now he's not going to and FI and his dad are going to have to do all the heavy framing themselves. FI's dad is in his mid 60's has two bad knees and arthritis. 

I'm guessing MOH plans on driving the four hours up to FF after dress shopping tomorrow. Which means she won't get there until like 9 or 10 at night. Her mom is a sleep doctor and she had an 8pm bedtime until the day she left for college and is completely incapable of staying up past 10pm. Plus she'll probbaly be grumpy and and try to rush me into a decision so she can take off to go drinking. No one was planning to go until yesterday and then suddenly everyones going..? 

A and S cancelled our annual trip to A's family's private cottage on a private lake in PA. We've gone every year for four years, but she cancelled it this year because of the baby. All we do is swim, cook out, fish, canoe and relax. But they're going to take the baby to FF which is 1000's of drunk people running through the streets..? I don't understand. 

I got that really condensed. What I had in my head was a lot more in depth and complicated.

Plus now I'm going to have to cancel my consultation with the make up artist I planned to book. Her website says her on site service minimum is $200 which is what I expected to pay. But she sent me her contract and that's her weekday rate. Her Saturday minimum is $500+tax+tip+$1 per minute of driving as her travel fee ($120 for me). It's going to end up being like $800! I sent all my girls a message asking if they'd like to pay to have their make up done professionally, but only MOH replied. And her reply was kind of snarky, asking if there was some benefit to paying and why they can't just do their own. They can, I don't care either way, I just thought I'd offer it out and she got all offended. So now I don't know what to do about that. I suck at make up and really want that done professionally for the wedding. 

It really upsets me that our friends are ditching us to go get drunk. If MOH gives me a hard time or is super cranky tomorrow I'm going to go into serious Bridezilla mode. I'm not going to put up with her being grumpy because she'd rather be drinking than shopping even though she's been asking me for months about going with me to do this. All I want is a ruffley dress and slice of pizza... dammit. 

I wish I was just going shopping with my mom now. It was always just me and her shopping for any other time I've needed a formal dress. I wish it was just going to be us now as well. Ugh. 

And this morning I chipped one of the diamonds in my engagement ring. I hit it on a towel bar in our bathroom on accident. The diamond that got chipped was one fo the family hierloom diamonds and I nearly had a heart attack when I realized it. This stone is like five times my elder, seriously. It's a smaller stone though and isn't noticable unless you seriously scrutinize it, but still, I can't believe I did that. I'm not going to mention it to FI. It's a sentimentally, irreplaceable diamond anyways, so why bother. We won't replace it anyways. I'm such a clutz though, uhhhh.

Feel free to tell me I'm over reacting and being a major bridezilla right now. But FI is also upset, so I don't know. It's just frustrating. 
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Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance

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    SB1512SB1512 member
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    You're overreacting. I get no one has gone to this thing in a few years but they all decided to go, nothing you cando about it. If your wedding is not until June 2013 there is no need to think about BM dresses yet. I am also a June 2013 bride and I'm not thinking about dresses until late fall. I'm giving my girls a color swatch from David's bridal and then can wear any short dress that is the color I choose. I'm not going shopping with anyone unless they ask me to come along. They can also get their dress outside of David's bridal as long as the color matches the swatch I give them
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    SB1512SB1512 member
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    Im also confused on if you are shopping for BM dresses or your wedding dress? If its your dress go shopping anyways and too bad if the girls who wanted to go miss out, if they wanted to come do badly they could skip the festival. But it sounds like they would rather be at the festival so let it go. No one will be as excited about your wedding as you are so even if people say they want to come to things or help out they may end up backing out because something more fun came up
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    It's for my dress not theirs. MOH has been asking me for months if she could go with me, so I made the appointments and she agreed to them. I'm offended that after months of begging to go with me she'd suddenly rather go get wasted and sleep in someones yard then see me after making a big ordeal over going in the first place. BM is only going because everyone else is and has a weird complex about being left out. He and FI already had plans for tomorrow and he's ditching FI to go drinking as well. FI and BM have been best friends for almost 20 years and it's pretty horrible to think that the allure of getting wasted is more important than following through to a friend. 

    I know no one else cares about my wedding and honestly, that's fine. I'm glad they don't because I don't even like talking about it to other people, the more they're uninterested, the easier it is for me. But don't beg to go for months if you're going to ditch me for booze the day prior. 
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    cnf - I can understand your frustration, however to be perfectly honest I think you need to take a deep breath and just let it roll off you. At least your MOH is still going shopping with you, and isn't trying to skip out. She might still be super excited and helpful, especially if she's been talking about it with you for months. She might surprise you. :) And honestly, there's nothing wrong with her making plans to do something after the shopping trip. She knew about the appointment, and chose to make these plans anyway. I doubt she's going to rush you once you're in the middle of shopping.

    As for the makeup part - holy crap that's expensive! Maybe your girls were misunderstanding you and thought that you were requiring them to pay to get their makeup done, which I don't think you are (if you are, please rethink). Maybe you need to clear it up with them. :-\

    SB - I understand your points as well, but I think your tone is a little harsh. While yes there is time for her to find her dress, depending on what she's looking for, it could possibly take 9 months for her dress to come in (mine is taking 6-8), and she still needs time for fittings. I don't think 10 months out is too early. I don't think she's talking about BM dresses at all since it is her MOH that is only going shopping with her.

    Also, my BM's dresses are picked out. My sister lives in FL and was up for my dress shopping. She and my MOH decided they wanted to look for dresses while my sister was here, and they found something they love. So, the dresses are picked out 10 months early. No big deal. Everyone is going to do their planning/preparations for their own wedding differently.
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    I would be upset too if my friend would rather get wasted then go dress shopping with me.  I know people say your maid of honor doesn't have to do anything but they should want to.  That is why you picked them so yeah be upset about it! You picked your girls for a reason and its understandable why you want them there.  I wanted my maid of honor there and went through hoops to get her to come. And the whole thing about no one being as excited yeah they might not be but they are still your friends and they should still be excited for you. 

    So in other words yes I would be upset but honestly after a bit I would let it go.  Would I somewhat guilt her if she didn't end up going probably.  
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    While I believe everybody is entitled to their own opinion, I also believe in being nice when someone is upset about something (especially something as important as their wedding) or not saying anything. cnf, you saying to go ahead and tell you that you're overreacting doesn't make it ok for anybody to make you feel worse about what's already a tough situation.

    If I were in your shoes, after I finished crying to FI, I would evaluate what I really wanted to do. I know how exciting dress shopping can be and wouldn't want that to be ruined by people who apparently have different priorities. Your MOH has been asking about going for a while but has changed her mind. I would tell her that you have the appointment set up and are sorry that it conflicts with her night of drunken stupidity, but that's how it is. If she wants to go dress shopping and be fully supportive, you're more than happy to have her. If not, you don't know of any rule requiring her to be there and will not worry about putting in the work to schedule any other appointments for her to be at.

    However, this is just my opinion. Do what feels right for you. Only you know what that is. I hope the situation gets better and you fully enjoy every moment before you say "I do."
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    I'm sorry you are having a rough day! I kind of understand how you feel, FI and I have some mutual friends who like to change their plans last minute, I used to get upset but over the time I've learned just to let it go and be prepared that when we make plans with them nothing is set in stone. I think for some people it's just kind of their second nature, they don't do it to be mean or anything, it's just the way they are.
     
    I do think it's a little sucky of your FI's friend to back up on him and leave him to fix up the deck just with your dad. Is it possible to work on the deck next weekend? I know you guys want to get it done as soon as possible, but it might be worth it just to wait it out a bit?

    Also, are you absolutely set on not going to the FF event? Maybe if you and FI could go, you and him can drive your MOH, that way she can nap in the car and not feel like she has to rush through dress shopping since she won't be driving at night by herself anymore? Just a suggestion. :)

    Hope you guys figure this whole thing out, but it does suck that your friends are being unpredictable like that. Hugs!!!
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    It was just my mom and I and I loved that! It was a great moment between just the two of us. Plus I didn't want a bunch of other opinions influencing my decision : I'm sorry your friends oinked out on you...not cool!
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    I thought I made it clear that they didn't have to go with the MUA and that I was just throwing out the option since I planned to have one on site. I responded to MOH saying that everyone was free do their own makeup and by no means had to pay for the MUA services if they didn't want to. Would it be tacky if I sent an old college suitemate a FB message about doing my make up then inviting her to enjoy the ceremony and reception afterwards? She was a Mary Kay consultant in college and is now a production manager at a local theater, so maybe I could hire one of her MUAs? I don't know if that's rude or not. She's super chill so I doubt she'd take offense. Plus, she loves free booze and we're having an open bar, haha.

    FI and I talked about it and we're pretty set on not going to the festival. We'd have to worry about finding someone to take the dog for us and whatnot and I hate having to get up and run across the field we sleep in to go inside and use the bathroom at night, haha. We had even offered to provide alcohol and have MOH and BM stay at our place and have a more chill version of the night except without sleeping outside around 1000 other drunk people. 

    We're trying hard to get the deck done asap. FI is on summer hours (reduced hours) until August 15th and he wants it done by then so he's not working full time and trying to finish. Although, that's what I've been doing. It sucks, but I've managed. 

    Thank you for the kind responses ladies. I feel more relaxed about the situation, I just needed the cathartic spewing of my feelings at someone other than FI. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_vent-its-long-sorry-in-advance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98d9fd50-58e2-43b0-8007-554efb943a52Post:03b5e167-2058-484c-91a5-45cee1ab642e">Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance</a>:
    [QUOTE]I thought I made it clear that they didn't have to go with the MUA and that I was just throwing out the option since I planned to have one on site. I responded to MOH saying that everyone was free do their own makeup and by no means had to pay for the MUA services if they didn't want to. <strong>Would it be tacky if I sent an old college suitemate a FB message about doing my make up then inviting her to enjoy the ceremony and reception afterwards?</strong> She was a Mary Kay consultant in college and is now a production manager at a local theater, so maybe I could hire one of her MUAs? I don't know if that's rude or not. She's super chill so I doubt she'd take offense. Plus, she loves free booze and we're having an open bar, haha. FI and I talked about it and we're pretty set on not going to the festival. We'd have to worry about finding someone to take the dog for us and whatnot and I hate having to get up and run across the field we sleep in to go inside and use the bathroom at night, haha. We had even offered to provide alcohol and have MOH and BM stay at our place and have a more chill version of the night except without sleeping outside around 1000 other drunk people.  We're trying hard to get the deck done asap. FI is on summer hours (reduced hours) until August 15th and he wants it done by then so he's not working full time and trying to finish. Although, that's what I've been doing. It sucks, but I've managed.  Thank you for the kind responses ladies. I feel more relaxed about the situation, I just needed the cathartic spewing of my feelings at someone other than FI. 
    Posted by cnf2013[/QUOTE]

    I think it's fine, but I'd try to figure out the best way to go about it. Maybe just shoot her a message asking if she knows anyone in the area who'd do your make-up instead of asking her up front? I would also send her the STD, maybe even prior to the FB message, so that she doesn't feel like her wedding invite depends on whether she'll be doing your make-up or not. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_vent-its-long-sorry-in-advance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98d9fd50-58e2-43b0-8007-554efb943a52Post:f9a4039e-2773-4eb1-ba8e-680164b90686">Re:Vent, it's long, sorry in advance</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Vent, it's long, sorry in advance : Good for you if that's how you're going to do it... but why say anything to anyone about when they should buy their dress?  I've bought my dress, AND it's already arrived.  I've picked out my BM dresses (SHOCKER, I'm picking out all the same dress, in the color and style I choose!) and two have already put down their deposits.  It is not like our weddings are in 2 years.  They are 11 months away.  It's not your place to comment on timelines just because you hear that stuff on other boards.   I don't understand why you continue commenting on these threads, basically copy/pasting from E or anywhere else, after tattling like a 2 year old.  Grow up.  If you have anything constructive to say, please, come say it.  But do not continue putting down everyone else on this month board. I'm not going to tell you how to post, but I can guarantee a lot of people are sick of your snobby attitude on this board.
    Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]

    This.. all of this! Needed to be said.
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    Agree with PP's. Cnf I'd say don't worry about MOH and let her do her thing, you said you kind if regretted not just making the appt with your mom, so maybe this will work out better. I also went just my mom and I and I loved it and loved sharing that moment just us. If she comes, great, if not sucks for her and next time she bugs you about wanting to come with you for something refer her to this incident. Ignore what other people say about how or when to plan your wedding. Do it how you want and what works for you. P.S. if I were FI I'd be sooooo pissed that his friend isn't going to help him now, knowing the time constraint. That's sucky.
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    SB1512SB1512 member
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    edited July 2012
    Whoa ladies.  Relax.  I was confused by her post about whether or not she was shopping for her wedding dress or the BM dresses.  I was merely trying to say that it wasn't a huge deal if this trip didn't work out if the intent was to get BM dresses, not trying to dictate her timeline, apologies if it came off that way.  For what it's worth I purchased my wedding dress in march.  I had BM's asking to go with me and I scheduled an appointment based on what worked for me and them.  2 days before the appointment everyone backed out except my sister.  It was pointless to get upset about it because things come up.  Yes some had lame excuses and some had valid ones but you just gotta let it roll of your back.  I'm just trying to say that a lot of people will be excited for your wedding but when it comes down to it, they may end up backing out of things such as dress shopping trips, or stuff BMs once offered to help with.  Lurk on the other board, especially moms and maids and wedding party there are plenty of threads about it, and the response is always the same......no one will be as exicted about your wedding as you are and it's not worth getting pissed off over if someone backs out on something. 
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    That sucks about your ring? What's the cost to get it repaired? I know mine came with a warranty so if something like that happens it can get replaced. 
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    The ring isn't a huge deal. You can't even see it unless your about a centimeter away from it and starring at the particular diamond in question. I wouldn't replace if it I didn't have to. It's a hand me down part of a family heirloom. 

    I also already picked out BM dresses. A while ago in fact. And I know people don't have to be excited for me, I never expected that of anyone. But don't beg to come for months then bail to go get wasted. There's a difference between something coming up and making a blatant decision to be rude. 

    I do lurk other boards. Plenty of them. And I know exactly what kind of attitude is given on those other boards. But that doesn't mean you have to come on here and act like all those other girls and give your better than thou parroted responses. If that's the response I wanted I would have posted to the WP board. I came here because people are considerate and genuine. People responded to you as they did because you only ever post on threads where the OP shows some vulnerability and never with anything nice or constructive to say. I know I need to get the hell over it, but guess what, I have feelings, and frankly, they were hurt. So I don't need digging at them anymore. I don't care that you called me out for being bratty, I said that was fine, and you weren't the only one. But that doesn't make your attitude justifiable. 

    Let's go back to pre-school, shall we... if you don't have anything nice to, don't say anything at all. 
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    Yessss, I want to! I'm sure our FI's will be okay with it. They can go be friends. 
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    SB1512SB1512 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_vent-its-long-sorry-in-advance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98d9fd50-58e2-43b0-8007-554efb943a52Post:d104f5d4-06e8-49b2-ae05-c1b177d05220">Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance</a>:
    [QUOTE]The ring isn't a huge deal. You can't even see it unless your about a centimeter away from it and starring at the particular diamond in question. I wouldn't replace if it I didn't have to. It's a hand me down part of a family heirloom.  I also already picked out BM dresses. A while ago in fact. And I know people don't have to be excited for me, I never expected that of anyone. But don't beg to come for months then bail to go get wasted. There's a difference between something coming up and making a blatant decision to be rude.  I do lurk other boards. Plenty of them. And I know exactly what kind of attitude is given on those other boards. But that doesn't mean you have to come on here and act like all those other girls and give your better than thou parroted responses. If that's the response I wanted I would have posted to the WP board. I came here because people are considerate and genuine. People responded to you as they did because you only ever post on threads where the OP shows some vulnerability and never with anything nice or constructive to say. I know I need to get the hell over it, but guess what, I have feelings, and frankly, they were hurt. So I don't need digging at them anymore. <strong>I don't care that you called me out for being bratty, I said that was fine, and you weren't the only one.</strong> But that doesn't make your attitude justifiable.  Let's go back to pre-school, shall we... if you don't have anything nice to, don't say anything at all. 
    Posted by cnf2013[/QUOTE]

    Bratty was never written in any of my posts.  You asked if you were overreacting I said you were.  And nope I don't only ever post on threads were OP is vulnerable but you are entitled to your opinion. 
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    I know you never called me a brat, I called myself one. I know I was overreacting and therefore acting like a brat. By agreeing that I overracted, you essentially agreed with me, as did everyone else, like I said. Let me rephrase myself here... you weren't the only one who told me I was overreacting. There, is that more exact? Do you need me to decipher anything else for you?
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    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_vent-its-long-sorry-in-advance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98d9fd50-58e2-43b0-8007-554efb943a52Post:d104f5d4-06e8-49b2-ae05-c1b177d05220">Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance</a>:
    [QUOTE]The ring isn't a huge deal. You can't even see it unless your about a centimeter away from it and starring at the particular diamond in question. I wouldn't replace if it I didn't have to. It's a hand me down part of a family heirloom.  I also already picked out BM dresses. A while ago in fact. And I know people don't have to be excited for me, I never expected that of anyone. But don't beg to come for months then bail to go get wasted. There's a difference between something coming up and making a blatant decision to be rude.  I do lurk other boards. Plenty of them. And I know exactly what kind of attitude is given on those other boards. But that doesn't mean you have to come on here and act like all those other girls and give your better than thou parroted responses. If that's the response I wanted I would have posted to the WP board. I came here because people are considerate and genuine. <strong>People responded to you as they did because you only ever post on threads where the OP shows some vulnerability and never with anything nice or constructive to say.</strong> I know I need to get the hell over it, but guess what, I have feelings, and frankly, they were hurt. So I don't need digging at them anymore. I don't care that you called me out for being bratty, I said that was fine, and you weren't the only one. But that doesn't make your attitude justifiable.  Let's go back to pre-school, shall we... if you don't have anything nice to, don't say anything at all. 
    Posted by cnf2013[/QUOTE]

    SB, I think what cnf was talking about here is in regards to this particular board. We have a ton of discussions every day (both WR and NWR) in which you don't partake, but when there is a vent which, at least in my book, means someone is looking for support, not advice, you are there. So I think that's what rubs some of us the wrong way.

    ETA for clarity: I was going to quote both this post and SB's response (which my post addresses), but I'm lame and I don't know how to quote two posts in one reply. lol
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    Weellllllll ladies, it's been swell but the swellings gone down. My work week is o-v-e-r and I'm outtie. FI and I are off to visit with our old friends and co workers at the summer camp we met at for the evening. I am officially off this b!tch train. 
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    SB1512SB1512 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_vent-its-long-sorry-in-advance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98d9fd50-58e2-43b0-8007-554efb943a52Post:e2a360be-3f06-4647-a99e-9f15c84d4534">Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance : SB, I think what cnf was talking about here is in regards to this particular board. We have a ton of discussions every day (both WR and NWR) in which you don't partake, but when there is a vent which, at least in my book, means someone is looking for support, not advice, you are there. So I think that's what rubs some of us the wrong way. ETA for clarity: I was going to quote both this post and SB's response (which my post addresses), but I'm lame and I don't know how to quote two posts in one reply. lol
    Posted by anastassiiat[/QUOTE]

    Well to be honest, most of the threads on this board don't appeal or interest me.  And I don't mean that in a "I'm only looking for discussions where the OP can be b*tched out" way, I simply am just not interested in most of the conversations on this board.  And for what it's worth most vents I don't touch, because they are exactly that, a vent.  But once you ask whether or not you are being rude, unreasonable, etc at the end of your vent you open yourself up for honest responses.
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    SB1512SB1512 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_vent-its-long-sorry-in-advance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98d9fd50-58e2-43b0-8007-554efb943a52Post:92f8e988-de17-47b7-b81d-7516028077cc">Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance : uhhhh then why do you keep coming back...?  I don't like mushrooms, so I don't eat them.  I don't like tequila, so I don't drink it.  I don't like romance novels, so I don't read them.  
    Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]

    Um because I am a June bride and there are some threads here I find helpful to read with regards to planning the details of my wedding.
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    SB1512SB1512 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_vent-its-long-sorry-in-advance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98d9fd50-58e2-43b0-8007-554efb943a52Post:bc3766c2-1038-42fa-a767-03aaae108394">Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance : hah well you got me there.  true.   sorry, I was wrong.
    Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]
     
    :-) no problem.  As was I for the way my posts/tone came across.  I'm not one to sugarcoat but I can see how something can come across much harsher on an online board than it's meant to sound if it was spoken in person
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    I am probably a lot older than most of you wonderful ladies on this board (which by the way is my favorite board) and I don't want to come off sounding like a "mom", which I can't help because I am.  Sometimes I can't help myself. 

    A general comment, and this is general, I am not directing this at anyone, I say this to my daughter and her friends all the time.  Just remember when you write something people can't " hear " how you really mean it.  I have read some responses on other boards and am floored at how mean they sound.  And I say to myself could that person really have meant to say that in that way.  Some I think are truly crazy bitches and do mean it but then I think others just don't realize they sound mean or rude or high and mighty.  And I think in that situation it is a shame.

    To cnf:  I have the opposite problem.  My friends are WAY too invloved.  They mean well and they are all excited.   But damn it- if I don't want a kondeitimister cake, I am not having one! Surprised  I hope you have a great weekend and best of luck with your dress shopping.  And honestly, I hope you continue to vent because it is good to just get it out sometimes.  I always tell my daughter when she needs to vent about her friends to lay it on me.

    To everyone else:  I'd like to post some more info later about me and my situation and see if there are any others on this board with similar issues.  Like I said, after following this board I thought everyone seemed really nice but I worry I don't have a lot in common with you all.  But the over 40, 2nd wedding and my local boards are just ok. And the E board people scare me...haha!

    June 2013 * March Siggy Challenge * Shoes
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    SB1512SB1512 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Also cnf it may be blessing in disguise that people bailed. None of my BMs like my dress choice. They are glad I love it but they wouldn't have picked it. So in the end I am glad it ended up only being me and my sister when I found my dress because if others had been there with their comments it might have made me not get it.
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    edited July 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_vent-its-long-sorry-in-advance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98d9fd50-58e2-43b0-8007-554efb943a52Post:cef184bc-58aa-4d3d-98c8-0fe18215293a">Re: Vent, it's long, sorry in advance</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am probably a lot older than most of you wonderful ladies on this board (which by the way is my favorite board) and I don't want to come off sounding like a "mom", which I can't help because I am.  Sometimes I can't help myself.  A general comment, and this is general, I am not directing this at anyone, I say this to my daughter and her friends all the time.  Just remember when you write something people can't " hear " how you really mean it. <strong> I have read some responses on other boards and am floored at how mean they sound.  And I say to myself could that person really have meant to say that in that way.  Some I think are truly crazy bitches and do mean it but then I think others just don't realize they sound mean or rude or high and mighty.  And I think in that situation it is a shame.</strong>To cnf:  I have the opposite problem.  My friends are WAY too invloved.  They mean well and they are all excited.   But damn it- if I don't want a kondeitimister cake, I am not having one!   I hope you have a great weekend and best of luck with your dress shopping.  And honestly, I hope you continue to vent because it is good to just get it out sometimes.  I always tell my daughter when she needs to vent about her friends to lay it on me. To everyone else:  I'd like to post some more info later about me and my situation and see if there are any others on this board with similar issues.  Like I said, after following this board I thought everyone seemed really nice but I worry I don't have a lot in common with you all.  But the over 40, 2nd wedding and my local boards are just ok. And the E board people scare me...haha!
    Posted by ciligirl[/QUOTE]

    I agree and disagree with the bolded.

    I am terribly sarcastic and have a dry sense of humour. Obviously this is hard to be conveyed via a message forum. And if I do, it makes me sound like a complete b!tch at times - which I'm not always (hehe)  So yes, there are always many things being conveyed completely different than the OP may have meant it.

    BUT

    If you continue reading and follow along with some posters you will see it is in their nature to only be negative nancy's, unhelpful or downright condescending. I have seen some people on some boards - really I'm not going to name names, so don't even ask - who post ridiculous things that make you eye-rolly, or leave you saying "And your point is?" 

    Posting for the sake of posting, especially without adding anything useful to the conversation in my opinion is silly. (Example - I'm going to my friends BBQ, what shall I bring? Answer: Stuff. <Not useful. Don't be surprised then when you get snarky comments thrown back at you.)

    And as my helpful piece of advice to all knotties - there is an ignore button. Feel free to use it whenever needed.

    Edit: I fail at words on a Friday. Please forgive me for it being super wordy and probably terrible written. I stopped and started it like 5 times...
    June '13 - Cake!
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    sssdee- you have a great point, and I am sure the longer I am on here I'll get the idea of who may say things differently (but have a heart of gold) and who really is out there.  And you don't have to name names...I think I have read some of the same ones!

    But I do stand firm on my original post- that E board scares me! :)-
    June 2013 * March Siggy Challenge * Shoes
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