Ceremony start time.

emilyb213

I feel like an idiot because I cannot, for the life of me, figure out when we should plan on starting our ceremony. We have our venue (both the ceremony and reception) for 6 hours, and we plan to end things around 10:30. So, this would give us a 4:30 start time.

I'm stuck on what to list on the invitations vs. when we actually start the ceremony. Do we put a start time of 4:30 and then plan on starting the ceremony at that exact time? Or do we plan on starting the ceremony at 4:45 (thus giving our guests a 15 minute cushion)? Or is this something that you kind of play by ear and just get started when it looks like people are pretty much seated?
 
I know I'm waaaay overthinking this, but a.) I have never been to a wedding that started at the time listed on the invitation, b.) my entire family is habitually late for everything, including weddings, and c.) our venue is outdoors, so latecomers won't be able to wait in the church vestibule or anything (my parents taught me that if you're late for church or whatever, you wait until there's an appropriate moment to enter, so that you're not walking in as the priest is giving the opening prayer). They'd just be kind of hanging out in the area leading from the parking to the ceremony.

Thoughts? The more I think about it, the more I'm confusing myself.

lovefuzzies

I'm waffling on this too.  We can get into our venue at 2pm (unless they allow us in earlier, which we're hoping for, or to be able to decorate the day before) so I'm not sure if we should start at 4 or 5pm.  5pm is really close to dinner for a lot of the older people who'll be invited and I feel bad for doing that but then I see a lot of posts from people saying they're having 5pm weddings.  I think I just need to stop thinking about it for now, LOL.

anastassiiat

When we met with our officiant we asked him that question, and he said that usually people list the actual ceremony start time, otherwise it is kind of rude towards those who show up on time. He also said that he puts in a cushion of about 30 minutes in his contact, that way if everyone is running late (traffic, weather conditions, etc.) he can start later. So maybe it would be something you can discuss with your officiant if you already have one picked?

tanyamary627

I personally would list the 4:30 start time on the invites and plan to start at that time.  Most all weddings that I've been to have started a few minutes late, but I think they play it by ear depending on how many people are seated, if people are still walking in, etc.  I wouldn't give a time and then plan to start at a later time, because if something happens or if you are running behind schedule then you will be starting the ceremony twice as late than printed on your invites.  Plus a lot of people will get to the wedding early, so you wouldn't want to inconvenience them by having them arrive twice as early.  Do you have a wedding website?  You can list the ceremony start time of 4:30 and then make a note "Please arrive at 4pm to be seated" on the site.  Good luck!!

bar10521

Our ceremony is scheduled to start at 5:30 which is what we'll put on the invitations. We have the venue from 5-11 so guests can arrive starting at 5 which will give us a nice cushion, one our JP recommended, so if there's anyone running late I won't be walking down the aisle when they get there. So if you were to do it this way I'd write 4:30 on the invitations and start at 5. 

emilyb213

Thanks for the input, ladies!!

Sassenach1743

I had this exact conversation with my venue coordinator on Friday and here's what I've decided to do...

My ceremony is scheduled to start at 5pm therefore the invitations will read "promptly at five o'clock in the evening". I will also be posting a note on our wedding website letting our guests know that we plan to start at 5pm and to please allow ample time to arrive, park, and be seated. Hopefully this will be enough to communicate that we will be starting at the designated time and not after. Also, we live in LA... all our local guests know that it takes extra long to get anywhere in this town, let alone Santa Monica! But we are including complimentary valet in the private onsite parking lot at the venue, so parking should not be an issue. They will just need to leave early enough to get through traffic... 

You can also run this by the ladies on the etiquette and/or invitation boards. They will surely have some great advice and instruction on how to properly word your invite.

Hope this helps

[Deleted User]

I'd list 4:30 and just kind of plan for 4:45, because it's possible people are going to show up late.

Our ceremony is at 4 & and our reception starts at 4:30, because we have a four hour reception so ours gets over at 8:30 p.m. We are putting that the ceremony starts at 4 p.m.

ktwed1

The invitiation should have the actual start time of the ceremony.