Planning a wedding for a friend

LileCarmel

Hey everyone,

I'm helping my friend plan her wedding for June 1st 2013 and I'm having great fun doing it, as well doing some crafts for it. There's a problem however.

I know a planner is meant to be there on hand for the wedding day but I dated one of her cousins and we didn't exactly part on good terms. My ex and I don't talk much now and most of his family see things from his POV. They will be there and he's part of the wedding party.

My friend knows that I'll be uncomfortable there so she hasn't mentioned it to me but I know that as a wedding planner, I have to be there to make sure her day goes smoothly.

I don't know what to do.

Klyn1983

You should ask your friend if she plans on you being there the day of. She might not plan on having you there. Not trying to sound mean at all, but she may only plan on having you help plan beforehand...not the actual day. 

Again, I'm not trying to be mean but you really need to find out what role you have before you start worrying about it.

blferguson1s

This is a friend who has asked you to plan her wedding, but you aren't invited to the event? I've never heard of this happening. Just out of curiousity, how are you good enough friends to help plan but not enough to be invited to such a big day?

I could see where things might be really awkward with your ex and his family, but nobody needs to be focused on that anyways. They should be focused on the bride and groom. I would hate to see their day messed up because of past feelings that have nothing to do with them.

ashlidie

Unfortunately my gut instinct reaction is... you're being childish, sorry.  If she does expect you to be there, it shouldn't matter who is there.  Basically from her point of view, you are putting your dislike of someone (that she has no control over whatsoever) over her friendship by making it a big deal.  It's only going to add to her stress which Im sure will only build closer to the big day.

...I hate coming off as snarky, but its just my opinion :-(

NOW I can understand if him and his family start some drama, in which case just be classy about it and don't take the bait and give in to their immaturity.  You will have to do your best to be a graceful guest for one day.  Believe me, I know people who just don't know how to leave things alone, and they may be these kind of people.  Hopefully you will have enough to distract you on the day of to keep out of any potential drama.

SugarFoote

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_planning-a-wedding-for-a-friend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:d4750904-6080-4e1f-bb85-d5a49e864ecaPost:754de39e-0602-4d01-9e56-3d74a2dd7c11">Re: Planning a wedding for a friend</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>This is a friend who has asked you to plan her wedding, but you aren't invited to the event? I've never heard of this happening. Just out of curiousity, how are you good enough friends to help plan but not enough to be invited to such a big day?</strong> I could see where things might be really awkward with your ex and his family, but nobody needs to be focused on that anyways. They should be focused on the bride and groom. I would hate to see their day messed up because of past feelings that have nothing to do with them.
Posted by blferguson1s[/QUOTE]

I was wondering the same thing!