Friend asking for advice that I don't have an answer to

SugarFoote

Its like every month shes txting me freaking out because she thinks she's prego. Then she finds out shes not and vows to never have sex again until shes married...a month later I get the same txt, she finds out she isn't, and vows to never put herself in that situation again.

This month, its the pill popper who she stayed with for a few nights, who refused to wear a condom and didn't pull out. She claims she didn't take any bc either. So yesterday she had to go to the Dr. to get her refill on bc. I told her to tell her Dr. that she could be possibly be pregnant. They had her take a urine test and the test results wont be back for awhile.

What scares me is that most of the time she doesn't even know these guys. And I seriously think she does regret her actions the next day because she has called me so often crying because she doesn't want to be "that girl" anymore. I am seriously beginning to think she might have a problem. What if any of these guys had a STD or something? Or they are crazy and actually hurt her or worse?

 When she told this guys she was late, he flipped out and she can't even get ahold of him anymore because his number has been changed or disconnected.She keeps asking me what she needs to do and I really have no idea what to tell her. I've never been in her situation before.

lodonnell616

I'm not sure I understand...what was your friend asking you to help her with?

SugarFoote

She keeps asking me what she should do.

FutureMrsPrice2013

Be blunt and honest. She needs to quit acting like a wh*** and grow up. The guy won't be found so she might as well give that up.

vineheart137

You're right, it honestly sounds like she has a problem. Sex addiction is very real and there's usually a deeper issue at root. I would suggest she see a therapist, at least for a few weeks. I'm guessing you guys are close, since you're the one she calls every month when she thinks she's pregnant- You can offer to go with her if you'd like. If she isn't pregnant already she could become pregnant (and she obviously isn't ready for that), get an STD, heck one of these strange men could even hurt her. Tell her you want her to get help before anything really bad happens.

SugarFoote

I've already tried the therapist idea. She doesn't think she is an addict, but like I said before, I do think she does realize that there is a issue. I just don't think she understands how severe it is.

Meghannsix

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_friend-asking-for-advice-that-i-dont-have-an-answer-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:f6766d71-e0cb-4c17-8236-0f46deb31080Post:39ddf299-614c-49bc-910f-2782812a5afd">Re: Friend asking for advice that I don't have an answer to</a>:
[QUOTE]Be blunt and honest. She needs to quit acting like a wh*** and grow up. The guy won't be found so she might as well give that up.
Posted by FutureMrsPrice2013[/QUOTE]

This.

She needs to learn to respect herself.

ktwed1

Is she out drinking alot when she's doing this? This can have an effect on her actions and if that's the case maybe stop drinking. But really the only answer is she needs to stop the reckless behavior. Pregnancy is one thing but like you said STD's are a concern as well. and some can be life threatening. She may have a serious problem with addiction she needs to address. Either way I think counseling is in order if she can't control her behavior.

ashlidie

whoa... That's a problem.  Unfortunately blunt is probably right, like FutureMrsPrice said.  She's acting like a sl*t and needs to grow up.  You can't keep trying to talk her down so she can feel good about herself and justify her actions, cuz I think that's all she is doing.  A lot of the time friends just want to hear that they really aren't that nuts.  She is being very irresponsible and honestly I would just get so frustrated that I would tell her it's not my problem.  I mean, it would have to be a constant thing but that's what it is sounding like to me based on your story.  If she can't respect herself then why should you respect her?

Gosh but I know she wants/needs support but she's not trying anything to fix her behavior and you are still doing your best to help, that's a bit unfair.