Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Non denominational ceremony

We are doing a non denominational ceremony with FI uncle as our officiant, but I want to incorporate both of our backgrounds. FI is Jewish and I am Catholic, though neither of us are practicing. We have a chuppah, he'll be breaking the glass, and I'm going to have an irish blessing read. Neither of us is religious at all, does this sound enough or any suggestions on what else we might incorporate???

Re: Non denominational ceremony

  • I don't mean this in a rude way, but if you're not religious at all, why not have a secular ceremony?
  • The majority of our families are religious, so we are trying to blend together our two backgrounds and beliefs.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-denominational-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:f0e6bee4-67d2-4704-945c-1e63baf0ff21Post:c4e4fad1-5a8b-4296-a79a-20b736627db1">Re: Non denominational ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Non denominational ceremony : As a person who is Catholic, let me be politely candid. If you're no longer practicing your faith, that is your call. I would not want to see someone in my family use a Catholic "tradition" just to appease me. It would be an empty show of just using something that is sacred to me just to say it is partly "Catholic". Your family may be different. Those are just my feelings and I promise that I am not meaning to come across as rude or harsh ,,,, just honest. Be true to yourself. That would make me happiest for my children.
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. I was raised Catholic, but I am no longer practicing, so we did not have a Catholic wedding or incorporate any specifically Catholic traditions in our wedding.  My family, most of whom are Catholic, understood and respected this.  I actually think it would have been offensive for me to "go through the motions" when I am not still practicing. I really think that you need to incorporate wedding traditions that are meaningful to you, not traditions that will please your family members.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-denominational-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:f0e6bee4-67d2-4704-945c-1e63baf0ff21Post:c4e4fad1-5a8b-4296-a79a-20b736627db1">Re: Non denominational ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Non denominational ceremony : As a person who is Catholic, let me be politely candid. If you're no longer practicing your faith, that is your call. I would not want to see someone in my family use a Catholic "tradition" just to appease me. It would be an empty show of just using something that is sacred to me just to say it is partly "Catholic". Your family may be different. Those are just my feelings and I promise that I am not meaning to come across as rude or harsh ,,,, just honest. Be true to yourself. That would make me happiest for my children.
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    Thanks for saying that I was thinking.
  • I definitely didnt mean to offend, and I think our families will like to see how we are respecting each others backgrounds and beliefs on what we were raised. I am definitely not trying to go through the motions of a Catholic Mass by any means, or I would be getting married in the church. As a couple, we respect our differences, and love each other for them, so to us it makes sense to honor and blend together our two backgrounds.
  • I get what you're saying, but I think what we're all trying to say is that these customs aren't YOURS. Customs- fine, but if you're not religious, you shouldn't feel inclined to have a religious ceremony. I know you think it's blending, but it's actually disrespect to yourself and the religion. 
  • Here's a resource for you on ceremonies and readings, Hope this helps

    "It's always better when we're together." -Jack Johnson
  • thanks! it does :)


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-denominational-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:f0e6bee4-67d2-4704-945c-1e63baf0ff21Post:c8074519-90bb-42f2-8f09-ad0040cbdd99">Re: Non denominational ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here's a resource for you on ceremonies and readings, Hope this helps <a href="http://www.allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-readings.cfm" rel="nofollow">http://www.allseasonsweddings.com/wedding-ceremonies-readings.cfm</a>
    Posted by yellowdaisies84[/QUOTE]
  • Thanks!

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_non-denominational-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:f0e6bee4-67d2-4704-945c-1e63baf0ff21Post:486deb96-34ae-4d93-94df-fe596decebd8">Re: Non denominational ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Head to your local library.  They'll have books on wedding ceremonies that you can use to custom-tailor your ceremony.  Look up some Catholic and Jewish prayers. I'm a Lutheran who married a UU minister.  We wrote our own ceremony, too.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
  • Unity candle, raising up on the chairs during the reception
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  • My FI was raised Catholic but has not been practicing in the 7 1/2 years I have known him. I was raised Jewish (with Christian input from my dad and step dad) pretty much my whole life ( I will admit as an adult it gets harder and harder to follow every custom - although I will always have my faith).

    We are having a more "spiritual" wedding then religous. Jewish customs I have incorporated are the chuppah (built of hockey sticks as my FI is a hockey player - this represents our future home we will share), a Ketubah (this is a wedding contract, we have a small line of hebrew and the rest is in english. This is a beautiful piece of art we can hang in our home and it will always remind us of the promises we made to each other  - look up Ketubuh's on etsy and you will see what I mean by art). Blessing over the wine and breaking of the glass (this can mean different things  - but basically no one else will ever drink from that same glass that we did as a married couple). And also not only will I be escorted by both of my parents for the processional so will FI (this is important to me to show how we are truely two families coming together). We chose these traditions because they are all beautiful and the fact they are "Jewish Traditions" are great for me, but FI was happy because they are just nice thigns to incorporate (He does NOT want a Jewish wedding and no one is wearing a kippah (jewish head covering for men).

    At the end of the day its nice to incorporate different elements to make it your own. Instead of religous maybe you can also research your heritage and those customs?
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    Anniversary
  • edited April 2013
    I assume that your families know neither of you are practicing the religions you were raised in, so... why worry about including the traditions?

    As PPs have said, it could even be borderline offensive to some devout people, that you are including religious aspects in your ceremony but are openly not practicing. If I were a guest at a wedding like this, honestly? I might think it was a little strange.
  • i disagree completely that your 'devout guests' would be offended. do what you want, no one is going to be offended with how you do your ceremony!
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