bridesmaids shoe drama

thekorsans

Ladies, I need to vent on my shoe situation! My bridesmaids are wearing short dresses so I really wanted them to wear the same shoes! I think it looks really good in pictures and it's what i really want and all my bridesmaids know this. I've decided the gift to my bridesmaids will be their shoes so I've offered to pay for them. My best friend and future sister-in-law love the idea and will wear whatever I choose for them. My two sisters on the other hand, not so much. They have shot down every single shoe I've shown them, and I've shown them about 15-20 that I've liked. Not one single one they agreed on! So, they win. I'm too stressed out worrying about this so I'm giving in. I'm going to let them pick their own shoes.

I understand not every person would want their bridesmaids in the same shoes, but I do. I can't help what I like. I'm so bummed my sisters won't compromise for me.

So I'm not buying anyone shoes and I'll have to think of something different to buy them as their bridemaids gift.

Okay now I need to forget about this situation and move on, wedding planning never ends

emilyb213

Glad you decided to let them all wear whatever shoes they want. Everyone will be too busy looking at you to notice your bridesmaids' footwear, ya know?

PrettyGirlLost

Just remember that anything related to your wedding-  shoes, jewelry, gift certificates to have hair/make-up done for your wedding- are not BM gifts. A BM gift would be something that you would give each lady as if it were her B-Day or Christmas.

I think it was a good decision to give in and let everyone choose their own shoes.  No one will even notice the BM shoes in your photos, not even you, and especially not in 10 years ;-)

jnissa

I totally agree that it's the best thing for you to let it go. But I also want to say that your bridesmaids are pretty selfish. It's your day - not theirs. I'm sure their karma will come around. 

thekorsans

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_bridesmaids-shoe-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:116Discussion:0b9c07db-d9c0-48d8-ad76-0d2bcfa5b51dPost:90080b5b-5ab0-4b23-9e6c-5ec29bf170b0">Re: bridesmaids shoe drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I totally agree that it's the best thing for you to let it go. But I also want to say that your bridesmaids are pretty selfish. It's your day - not theirs. I'm sure their karma will come around. 
Posted by jnissa[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>yeah i have one veryyy selfish sister! she put up a huge fuss about the dress and now shoes! she hasn't helped me at all with my stag and doe thats in one week... thank goodness my other sister has been very helpful! i can't wait for my other sister to get married, i'll put up a fuss with everything lol

</div>

anahita7

It's easier, and less stress for you, to just make a suggestion (i.e. black, open toed shoes that are patent leather). This way the shoes match the dress/decoration and even though they don't look unform up close, they still look pretty good. Keep in mind, not everyone is going to want to wear 3 inch heels when they're running around.

At the end of the day, it's your big day and they should not be so fussy, not when the detail you want doesn't cause any real harm.  But, to be honest, don't stress yourself out with the little details. You'll go grey before your wedding day!

emilyb213

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_bridesmaids-shoe-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:116Discussion:0b9c07db-d9c0-48d8-ad76-0d2bcfa5b51dPost:90080b5b-5ab0-4b23-9e6c-5ec29bf170b0">Re: bridesmaids shoe drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I totally agree that it's the best thing for you to let it go. But I also want to say that your bridesmaids are pretty selfish. It's your day - not theirs. I'm sure their karma will come around. 
Posted by jnissa[/QUOTE]

As soon as you involve other people, it stops becoming "your day".

manjermj

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_bridesmaids-shoe-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:116Discussion:0b9c07db-d9c0-48d8-ad76-0d2bcfa5b51dPost:4c292f6e-a090-4ee4-b2b5-5dba972c5424">Re: bridesmaids shoe drama</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: bridesmaids shoe drama : yeah i have one veryyy selfish sister! she put up a huge fuss about the dress and now shoes! she hasn't helped me at all with my stag and doe thats in one week... thank goodness my other sister has been very helpful! i can't wait for my other sister to get married, i'll put up a fuss with everything lol
Posted by thekorsans[/QUOTE]

<div>Take a deep breath. Your sister and other bridesmaids are the ones that will have to wear these dresses and shoes, so they should have <strong>quite</strong> a large say in what they think they look like and if they are comfortable, etc. As long as you get an end result with everyone happy that's all that matters. Getting upset over minor details isn't worth it. Put it in the past and move on to your next thing to check off your list. </div><div>
</div><div>And just to note...I have never even heard of a stag and doe party - but from the sounds of what I read online, I wouldn't help out or condone any type of "wedding fundraising" party for anyone - no matter if it was my sister or not. </div>

PrettyGirlLost

What was the "fuss" about, the costs of the items? Did you ask your BMs what their budgets were before picking out a dress and shoes? The only person that has to help you with things related to your wedding is your FI, because its his wedding too ; While its awesome if your BMs want to help with things and throw parties or showers for you, they don't have to and they don't all have to participate.