Not Engaged Yet

OK ladies, talk me down!

So I feel like I've gotten a bit engagement/marriage/wedding obsessed.  BF has saved up for my ring, and we're going to go pick it out together sometime in the next few weeks, which is great, but I'm starting to scare myself a bit with how often I'm thinking/talking about it.  It comes up all the time, and most of the time it's him bringing it up, not me, but I jump right on board and drag one statement he makes into a twenty minute discussion about it without even realizing it.  It's usually just a conversation between the two of us, but sometimes close family will bring it up (usually his step-mom or sisters) and I can get a tiny bit carried away then too.

We've been through a lot together, we're really in love, and our family and friends are going to be so excited for us, so there's not one stressful thing about this pending engagement, and I'm just really excited to take the next step.  Not to mention, before the economy went to sh!t I entertained the idea of being an event planner and I'm really pumped to get plan a wedding--I know that part sounds a little childish but I can be excited about the marriage and the wedding, right?!

I did apologize to BF last night, told him I'm just really excited, etc.  He was fine with it and shrugged it off like it was nothing, but I still feel completely crazy.  Am I over-thinking it, or am I really being a nutcase?  Assuming that I'm a nutcase, please help talk me down before I get any worse!
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Re: OK ladies, talk me down!

  • I was the same exact way before we got engaged! All of my friends were getting engaged/married and my fiance and I were so happy together that it just took over all of my thoughts.  He isn't the type of person to talk about 1 thing for a long period of time, and I knew that, so I made sure to apologize after any particularly long conversation and to make a conscious effort to talk about other things, especially things that he loved to talk to.  At this point you know he loves so just keep reminding yourself that even though getting engaged is the icing on the cake, you still have the entire cake to enjoy! :) (sorry for the super cheesy analogy)
  • Hmm, to keep from dwelling on it, maybe take up a brand-new hobby, something you've never tried before? It gives you a convenient excuse for a new conversation topic.
  • I don't think your crazy. It's not like you are pre-planning or anything. It might be nice if you toned down the wedding talk since once you actually do get engaged there will probably be a lot of it! There aren't really any magical tricks to help with that except to make a conscious effort to not bring it up or talk about it as much. If your SO brings it up then just smile and say you're so excited to plan once your engaged and then move on to another topic (and yes I know it's easier said than done!)

  • edited April 2013
    I don't think you're going crazy - or if you are, it sounds like your BF is joining you a little bit in that :) It's fun when they bring it up themselves, but a little harder to stay off the BSC train.

    It sounds like you notice when you get too excited or focused on it for too long, so that's half the battle right there. Just like Stitches said, maybe trying something new or different would give you something else to think/talk about in the meantime. Take a daytrip somewhere new, take a class, whatever's been on your to-try list. It's hard to avoid it when friends or family bring it up, but maybe you and BF could make a pact to not talk so much about it? I know y'all are about to pick out the ring, but otherwise staying away from the topic might help both of you relax and keep the excitement from burning out.

    I am excited for you guys! :) Just enjoy all the happiness in your relationship, nurture *all* aspects and relationships in your life, and don't let the anticipation make you too crazy.
  • Thank you all for the words of wisdom!  I'll definitely be making a more conscious effort to avoid the subject (like you said, easier said than done, but I'm going to do my best!).  I love the idea of picking up a hobby--I just don't know what I'd choose!

    I just really want to make sure I'm not inadvertently putting pressure on BF.  I mean, I guess it's silly to worry about forcing him into it when he's already gone and saved up all on his own, but I want it to be in his own time when he feels he's ready to ask and not rushed because he's afraid my head might pop off in anticipation!  I did tell him that, and I told him I wanted to talk about it as little as possible until the time comes, so we'll see how it goes!  :)

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  • I feel the exact same way. I try to remind myself that it's a healthy thing to get excited about and a natural reaction is to talk about it. I do try to self edit and keep some thoughts to myself so as not to overwhelm BF though. And when he brings up something related to ring/proposal/wedding, I physically have to remove myself from the room otherwise I could talk forever. 

    We went through a bit of a rough patch a few years ago when I was non stop talking about 'when, when, when' he was going to make his move but he wasn't ready and I learned the hard way that no guy wants to feel like he has to do it. Plus, I would never want to know in the back of my mind that he was only doing it for me, and not equally for himself as well. 

    I also try to provide him with examples of something that HE might be just as excited about so that he might begin to understand how I'm feeling. But I'm not sure than anything compares to a girl waiting to be proposed to by the love of her life. 
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