Bridezilla vs. my hair (obviously WR)

SteelHibiscus

So somewhere in the past few months I apparently lost my mind and agreed to be a second-tier bridesmaid for my high-maintenance cousin (I know, I know, but Red Robin just does something to me).

She wants all her bridesmaids to have their hair in a bun. My hair resides somewhere between a buzz cut and an afro depending on how far I am from a haircut.

Now I was planning to have my hair braided with blue streaks, in which case the bun wouldn't be a problem because yay fake hair! But she doesn't want the blue and has actually suggested a completely different style. Which I don't actually like.

If I went along with her request, I'd get it done the day before and take it out the day after so I could have my blue hair for another wedding the week after. Waste of money for whoever pays for it.

I'm completely within my rights to tell her "You are getting either the short hair or the blue streaks. Pick your poison," am I not? (As a bonus, the hair is the exact same shade as the dress.)

BostonGIrl4732

Who's paying?

kmbryant2413

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridezilla-vs-my-hair-obviously-wr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:15690898-e7fa-49da-b7a0-62d12ca78189Post:1423b75e-9ca0-44d6-9479-e32d27a07195">Re: Bridezilla vs. my hair (obviously WR)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridezilla vs. my hair (obviously WR) : This is not a bonus IMO. If she wants to tell you how to style your hair she has to pay for it but TBH I'd step down.  This is not going to be fun for you in any way.  Since you're a "second tier bridesmaid"<strong> (what exactly does that mean anyway?)</strong> she won't be out too much without you in it anyway.  Attend as a guest and wear your hair the way you want.
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]

<div>I think that means that she got asked to be a bridesmaid as a replacement, or probably to make even numbers.</div><div>
</div><div>I'd say eff no and just back away. Quickly. That bride reeks of crazy, cousin or no. I'm an adult and while someone can tell me how they would <em>like </em>me to look, I make my own decisions. Even for someones wedding.</div>

glitterunicorn13

Not sure what to advise, but I cannot stand the matchy matchy... now back to regularly scheduled programming....

missfrodo

You have every right to be in control of your body.  If she wants your hair in a specific style, and she is willing to pay for it, you can accept or decline the offer.  But she cannot dictate the length or color of your hair!  Tell her your hair will be x color and x length, and she can find a style she likes in that color and length.  If she is not ok with that, I would probably remove myself from the wedding; although it could end your friendship with her, it doesn't sound like she's a very pleasant person to begin with so I don't think it would be a horrible loss.  

Benny618

Are these blue hair extensions? That's what it's sounding like...  While I don't think the bride should have a say in your hair unless she is paying, I do think it's fair if she doesn't want you to use blue hair extensions.  They are an accessory that you don't need to use, vs. something permanent on your body like a tattoo.  I would tell her that she is welcome to pay for your short hair to be put in a bun if she would like to, but I wouldn't insist on wearing blue hair extensions...

All of that aside, I would not have accepted being a 2nd tier bridesmaid, whatever that means.

radleyboo

One of my BM's asked me how I wanted her to do her hair for the wedding and I seriously thought she was joking.  People actually dictate hairdos?  Ridiculous. 

Tell her that your hair is your hair, and you'll style it in a way that looks nice for the wedding.  I'd stay away from the blue, however, until after you're done with both wedding parties.  JMHO, the brightly colored hair is fun and trendy, but might not stand the test of time in wedding photos. 

cnf2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridezilla-vs-my-hair-obviously-wr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:15690898-e7fa-49da-b7a0-62d12ca78189Post:6c8723d6-94c8-4d36-8a83-b388298ee329">Re: Bridezilla vs. my hair (obviously WR)</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>One of my BM's asked me how I wanted her to do her hair for the wedding and I seriously thought she was joking.  People actually dictate hairdos? </strong> Ridiculous.  Tell her that your hair is your hair, and you'll style it in a way that looks nice for the wedding.  I'd stay away from the blue, however, until after you're done with both wedding parties.  JMHO, the brightly colored hair is fun and trendy, but might not stand the test of time in wedding photos. 
Posted by radleyboo[/QUOTE]

<div>My same thoughts. I was having the hair styles conversation with one of mine the other night and her concern was how I felt and how I'd want my pictures to look. I got so confused and was like "no, no, send me a picture of whatever <em>you want</em> so my stylist can figure out how long she needs per head for her schedule". I just do not understand. </div>

lyndsay782

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridezilla-vs-my-hair-obviously-wr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:15690898-e7fa-49da-b7a0-62d12ca78189Post:6c8723d6-94c8-4d36-8a83-b388298ee329">Re: Bridezilla vs. my hair (obviously WR)</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my BM's asked me how I wanted her to do her hair for the wedding and I seriously thought she was joking.  People actually dictate hairdos?  Ridiculous.  
Posted by radleyboo[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I had the same conversation with one of my bridesmaids.  I was like, really? People do that? Apparently the last wedding she was in (that former bride is also a BM in mine) forced everyone to wear their hair a certain way (and have it styled by a certain person).  She also forbade them to trim/cut it for the year leading up to her wedding, so it would be long. </div><div>
</div><div>As long as they are comfortable, feel pretty, and stand where they are supposed to, I don't care.  </div><div>
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radleyboo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bridezilla-vs-my-hair-obviously-wr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:15690898-e7fa-49da-b7a0-62d12ca78189Post:7f1323a6-f851-492f-9426-5ab884e1b38a">Re: Bridezilla vs. my hair (obviously WR)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridezilla vs. my hair (obviously WR) : I had the same conversation with one of my bridesmaids.  I was like, really? People do that? Apparently the last wedding she was in (that former bride is also a BM in mine) forced everyone to wear their hair a certain way (and have it styled by a certain person).  She also forbade them to trim/cut it for the year leading up to her wedding, so it would be long.  <strong>As long as they are comfortable, feel pretty, and stand where they are supposed to, I don't care. </strong> 
Posted by lyndsay782[/QUOTE]

This. 

A friend of mine was in a wedding and the bride actually bought her extensions so that her hair would be as long as the rest of the wedding party.  I'm shocked she didn't put her in platforms, as my friend is 5'1" and was about 6" shorter than the rest of the WP (I stalked the photos on FB).  Can you say Stepford Bride?  I sincerely don't understand wanting everyone to look 'the same'.  These women are not 'the same' in any way aside from being women and being in your wedding.  Ugh. 

dem068

My BMs are similar.  They asked me what kind of shoes to wear and how to do their hair.  I said, wear shoes that you can dance all night in, and do your hair however you want!  After 20+ years of doing their own hair/makeup, I am confident that they will look awesome