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Chit Chat

This is a really whiny post. Get some cheese to have with this whine.

Most of the E board knows the story, but to CN it, my grandmother passed rather unexpectedly nearly a month ago. There was no service and I had to stay in home in VA to take care of things here while my parents went to NJ to say last goodbyes and whatnot. So no closure for me. I haven't seen any of my extended family (grandfather, aunt and one remaining uncle) since it happened. Of course, in times such as these, everyone bands together and promises to keep in touch more, try harder to form relationships and maintain them, etc. At that point, all were planning to come to the wedding, and my mother was thrilled about it. Especially because before my grandmother passed, they weren't going to be able to come because she couldn't travel.

Since then, my grandfather has fallen a few times and now needs his knee replaced. At first it sounded like the doctors thought his heart wasn't strong enough for surgery, but they have apparently run a lot of tests and deemed him fit for a knee replacement. The surgery is scheduled for ten days before the wedding. Obviously he won't be able to attend. I won't lie to you; I cried over it. I even asked (in the heat of the moment) "Couldn't they just wait another two weeks?" I later asked FI to smack me upside the head if I ever said anything like that again. Of course I want him to be better. I just wanted him at the wedding, too.

With my grandfather having surgery, my aunt (mom's sister) will be traveling to NJ to help him during his recovery. So the line is "as long as nothing unforeseeable happens" she will attend. I have to be honest, it keeps coming off to me like "as long as he doesn't die, she'll be there" which is freaking me out. But again, I understand.

Today, my mom called her brother to see if he was coming to the wedding. After my grandmother died, he told my mom that he had written a song and would like to perform it during the wedding ceremony, and I said that was fine with me. I just needed to let the officiant and wedding musicians know. Today, he told my mom that he wouldn't be able to attend because he and his wife can't afford to take time off from work. I know that their financial situation isn't the best right now, so I understand.

But DAMMIT this sucks and I cried over it which made my mom upset and made me feel selfish because I can't expect everyone to drop their lives to come to my wedding. But I am so disappointed. I can't get perspective right now. I just keep thinking that no one from my mom's family is going to be at this wedding. It breaks my damn heart. 

So someone tell me to suck it up or something. 
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Re: This is a really whiny post. Get some cheese to have with this whine.

  • Sorry, I can't tell you to suck it up.  You're getting some pretty hard licks, and I really feel for you.  I really hope that things start improving for you, and respect you for how well you are handling it (being so understanding).

    ((((Courtiana)))))
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_this-is-a-really-whiny-post-get-some-cheese-to-have-with-this-whine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:75e33d80-69d4-42dc-9044-16bfe53427c0Post:1c49c84a-810e-479b-b158-c087fe45c4c9">Re:This is a really whiny post. Get some cheese to have with this whine.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dr. Stage prescribes a hot bath, bottle of your favorite wine, 20 to 30 minutes of crazy hanging off the chandelier monkey sex, and bed. Wine can also be substituted with 2 to 3 stiffly made drinks with your favorite liquor. It sucks, and you are currently in the pattern of dwelling and beating yourself up for being selfish. That's not going to break until you get some rest and relaxation. THEN, perspective will come. So for now, get drunk, get laid, get some sleep.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>Mother Nature says no to sex right now. Medication says alcohol not so good. And dammit my bathtub doesn't cover my knees and boobs at the same time LMAO</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm sleeping until forever tomorrow. That's been decided. I drank half a (big) bottle of wine today and got a headache from it. I used to be able to outdrink frat boys in college. WTF is my life right now?!</div>
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  • Courtania, it looks to me like your desire to have these people (your Grandfather, your aunt) at your wedding isn't coming from a bridezilla "my wedding is the most important thing" kind of place, but a "we just went through a terrible tragedy and I want my family with me" kind of place. You're going to be emotional and overreact to things, it's allowed. 

  • I'm sorry - that really sucks. Go stuff your face with chocolate. It's one of the next best things to alcohol and sex. 
  • LoveyHowlLoveyHowl member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited April 2013
    That really does suck. I'm so sorry about your grandmother.

    My father had a knee replacement recently because he fell and fractured his kneecap, and when he was released from the hospital he went immediately to an inpatient physical rehab facility to learn how to make transfers from wheelchair to bed, recliner, toilet, etc. and to strengthen him up so he could get around the house with wheelchair and walker. He was there for a good two weeks or so before he was allowed to go home. So in all likelihood, your aunt will be able to get away for your wedding while your grandfather is still in rehab. Hope that helps a bit.

    Oh, and ditto the wine, chocolate, sex.
  • TKzillaTKzilla member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_this-is-a-really-whiny-post-get-some-cheese-to-have-with-this-whine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:75e33d80-69d4-42dc-9044-16bfe53427c0Post:71308d18-f6db-43f9-ab42-7c94ff666f6a">Re: This is a really whiny post. Get some cheese to have with this whine.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Coco, go ahead and cry. Just do it. Fill the tub, grab a bottle of wine, turn on the Adele, and have yourself a big, fat, ugly cry.I'm talking sobbing and snot everywhere and puffy eyes, they works.  Then go take a nap, wake up, put on pretty undies, have some seriously freaky sex, and start over. You'll feel a ton better. Sometimes, we concentrate too hard on being in control. Go take a day to be out of control and get it out. (this advice brought to you by my stomach lining).
    Posted by Harry87[/QUOTE]

    <div>You had me at "Coco" LMAO I have gone by many names, that's not (yet) been one of them. Awesome.</div><div>
    </div>
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  • Awww I'm sorry!  :( I saw a glass of wine and bath is the best therapy.  ((hugs)) Also, I want cheese and wine now, in addition to shrimp cups that I read in a post with Harry earlier.  

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    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

  • it is totally OK to be upset/disappointed.  It sucks when things like this interfere and its okay to be sad that they can't be there on your wedding day-- just remember they really WANT to be there, but cannot, so I'm sure they are just as sad. 

    Great advise Stage, lol.
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    Anniversary
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