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Mean posters...

OnLAOnLA member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Chit Chat
So I'm new at this, and genuinely looking for advice.  Maybe some of my thoughts are a little off base, but I can't get over how MEAN so of the replies I've recieved have been...Why do some posters go out of their way to be hurtful?  There are ways to offer advice without being cruel..I'm just so taken aback.  It really makes me want to leave The Knot, there are so many other boards out there with supportive brides, I was hoping for the same support here but it doesn't seem to exist.
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Re: Mean posters...

  • kmbryant2413kmbryant2413 member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    www.weddingbee.com
    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
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  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:aa79228b-d297-4d7c-ae60-c7ccdcdf65dd">Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I'm new at this, and genuinely looking for advice.  Maybe some of my thoughts are a little off base, but I can't get over how MEAN so of the replies I've recieved have been...Why do some posters go out of their way to be hurtful?  There are ways to offer advice without being cruel..I'm just so taken aback.  It really makes me want to leave The Knot, there are so many other boards out there with supportive brides, I was hoping for the same support here but it doesn't seem to exist.
    Posted by Bibbleskip[/QUOTE]

    Heeeeeeere we go again.....
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  • OnLAOnLA member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:e5391ba2-542d-4307-9536-017c111f7cad">Re: Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<a href="http://www.weddingbee.com" rel="nofollow">www.weddingbee.com</a>
    Posted by kmbryant2413[/QUOTE]

    I love the Bee, girls there are so supportive and friendly.
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  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:140cb255-b40b-47c8-ab21-f9ed85acb65e">Re: Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mean posters... : I love the Bee, girls there are so supportive and friendly.
    Posted by Bibbleskip[/QUOTE]

    So maybe you should just hang there if rainbows and puppy farts are more your style.
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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    Are you looking for honesty or for cotton candy?


    Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie image (1).jpg
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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Was it me with my comment about my unbalanced sides? Feel free to call me out by name if so. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • kristAbotEheArtsglittErkristAbotEheArtsglittEr
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:aa79228b-d297-4d7c-ae60-c7ccdcdf65dd">Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I'm new at this, and genuinely looking for advice.  Maybe some of my thoughts are a little off base, but I can't get over how MEAN so of the replies I've recieved have been...Why do some posters go out of their way to be hurtful?  There are ways to offer advice without being cruel..I'm just so taken aback.  It really makes me want to leave The Knot, there are so many other boards out there with supportive brides, I was hoping for the same support here but it doesn't seem to exist.
    Posted by Bibbleskip[/QUOTE]

    <div>Sweetie you do what you need to do. You don;t need these biyatches harshing on you. </div>
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  • SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    People were really nice to you in your threads on Wedding Party. They gave you great advice on when to ask BMs and who pays for the dresses.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary 
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  • OnLAOnLA member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    I just feel that there are ways to be constructive and offer advice without name calling and serious negativity.  I realize that not everyone will agree with everyone, I certainly don't. 
    Not everyone is negative, I am just here looking for suggestions and advice and more often than not I find I'm being called names and being told I'm ingnorant, selfish, superficial, and so on and so on.

    I don't expect rainbows and butterflies but supportive advice during a time that is supposed to be very happy but also very stressful would be much more helpful.
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  • kmbryant2413kmbryant2413 member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    It's not supposed to be very stressful. You're doing it wrong, then.
    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2013
    I don't see how telling you that you need to ask your bridesmaids their budgets is rude. And I didn't see any name calling in your threads. Links? And who was mean to you?
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Stage, you already found it, but here it is in case anybody else is wondering. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:57608ab6-34e7-46cf-8465-12092a8b5b28">Re: Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mean posters... : Links or it didn't happen.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    True dat
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:49f8542d-09c8-4da3-b370-57d438f081ab">Re: Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just feel that there are ways to be constructive and offer advice without name calling and serious negativity.  I realize that not everyone will agree with everyone, I certainly don't.  Not everyone is negative, I am just here looking for suggestions and advice and more often than not<strong> I find I'm being called names</strong> and being told I'm ingnorant, selfish, superficial, and so on and so on. I don't expect rainbows and butterflies but supportive advice during a time that is supposed to be very happy but also very stressful would be much more helpful.
    Posted by Bibbleskip[/QUOTE]

    <div>Please point out exactly where this is happening.  Name calling is against the rules.</div><div>
    </div><div>It seems that you are making this up.  April fools?</div>
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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:57608ab6-34e7-46cf-8465-12092a8b5b28">Re: Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mean posters... : Links or it didn't happen.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    I've been going through your threads and I'm not seeing it OP.  Help us see your argument.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    People really need to examine the phrase "name calling." Honestly, saying it is superficial to want even sides is not "name calling." If someone said, "You're a stupid hoar," that would be name calling. If someone said I was boisterous and outspoken, I certainly wouldn't be all, "You called me a mean name!" 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I think name calling doesn't mean what you think it means.  Here, I'll clarify for you:

    "You are superficial!  HAHA!"  = name calling

    "If you did this, it would be superficial" = not name calling. 
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • formerlyCooperformerlyCooper
    100 Comments Name Dropper
    The regs on these forums are just blunt. Tone is impossible to convey and YOU are the one overreacting by assuming the comments you get have the worst tone possible. Really, none of us care that much about you to attack you on a random Internet forum. I say this in the nicest "get a grip" way possible: grow a thicker skin. This is the internets and we are all adults. We do not need to "get along together" or play nice. Please lurk some more; you are not familiar enough with this online community to know how it works and are at a disadvantage.
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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to Re:Mean posters...:[QUOTE]People really need to examine the phrase quot;name calling.quot; Honestly, saying it is superficial to want even sides is not quot;name calling.quot; If someone said, quot;You're a stupid hoar,quot; that would be name calling. If someone said I was boisterous and outspoken, I certainly wouldn't be all, quot;You called me a mean name!quot;nbsp; Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    This. Saying an idea is superficial is not name calling.
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  • imAprEttyprincessimAprEttyprincess
    10 Comments
    Well, I don't think it was name calling, but I'm sure there was prolly a better way to say it.  I get being hurt by being called superficial.  and someone applying the word ignorant to someone is totally an insult.  Anyone who says otherwise must BE ignorant.
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  • formerlyCooperformerlyCooper
    100 Comments Name Dropper
    [QUOTE]applying the word ignorant to someone is totally an insult. Anyone who says otherwise must BE ignorant. Posted by imAprEttyprincess[/QUOTE]
    Again, you're talking tone. Saying that someone is ignorant CAN be an insult, but it depends on how you deliver the word in context. Automatically taking offense at a word that may accurately describe a situation is over sensitivity on your part.
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  • imAprEttyprincessimAprEttyprincess
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:9d3c3b01-ee77-48b7-8efc-beff0021e59a">Re:Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Again, you're talking tone. Saying that someone is ignorant CAN be an insult, but it depends on how you deliver the word in context. Automatically taking offense at a word that may accurately describe a situation is over sensitivity on your part.
    Posted by formerlyCooper[/QUOTE]

    <div>How is it possible to tell someone they are unintelligent and not have it be an insult.  Maybe you need a dictionary.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Calling someone ugly may accurately describe the situation of their face, but it doesn't make it not mean.</div>
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:d176baee-78bf-4411-bcb0-2c52df7aa8da">Re:Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Mean posters... : How is it possible to tell someone they are unintelligent and not have it be an insult.  Maybe you need a dictionary.   Calling someone ugly may accurately describe the situation of their face, but it doesn't make it not mean.
    Posted by imAprEttyprincess[/QUOTE]

    <div>Because ignorant does not mean unintelligent.  </div><div>
    </div><div>It seems that you are the one who could use a dictionary.  </div>
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  • formerlyCooperformerlyCooper
    100 Comments Name Dropper
    [QUOTE]How is it possible to tell someone they are unintelligent and not have it be an insult. Maybe you need a dictionary. Calling someone ugly may accurately describe the situation of their face, but it doesn't make it not mean. Posted by imAprEttyprincess[/QUOTE]
    IGNORANT
    Adjective
    1. Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
    2. Lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular: "ignorant of astronomy".

    FYI, "uneducated", "unsophisticated", and "lacking awareness" are not the same thing as being unintelligent. Someone needs a more thorough grasp of the English language before they try proving a point, and it's not me.
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  • KnotIreneKnotIrene admin
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    There have not been any insults posted by the knot's regular posters in this thread.
    Remember, please don't feed the trolls...especially April Trolls.
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  • formerlyCooperformerlyCooper
    100 Comments Name Dropper
    [QUOTE]There have not been any insults posted by the knot's regular posters in this thread. Remember, please don't feed the trolls...especially April Trolls. Posted by Knot Irene[/QUOTE]
    princess has had an account for at least a few weeks. I'm not sure if she's a troll yet but I'm leaning that way.
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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm thinking a few posts from a few weeks ago created some trolls
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_mean-posters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ba4926a1-ab63-44c5-9f11-a09e2399d723Post:93c69108-ce7c-458c-93ed-e232b691d725">Re:Mean posters...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>princess has had an account for at least a few weeks.</strong> I'm not sure if she's a troll yet but I'm leaning that way.
    Posted by formerlyCooper[/QUOTE]


    Nah that's another princess.  This princess joined today. 
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  • imAprEttyprincessimAprEttyprincess
    10 Comments
    I am just pointing out that there are different ways to phrase things that can be nicer.  Of course when a poster comes here with a problem, they are going to be overly sensitive.  They are already upset about something.  Maybe it's been too long since some of your weddings to remember or maybe your not far enough into planning yet, but putting on a wedding is a stressful thing!  I think we can tell someone that their idea is problematic in a way that isn't so blunt is all.

    And I cannot believe you would assume someone was lying.  I thought it was innocent until proven guilty in this country, not guilty until proven innocent!
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  • formerlyCooperformerlyCooper
    100 Comments Name Dropper
    [QUOTE]Nah that's another princess. This princess joined today. Posted by LiLe422[/QUOTE]
    Ah. The SN's are all so similar I can't keep track. It's like debating with five year olds, anyhow. Boring and totally easy to win. I've had my fun.
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