Planning from another state

JennaMichelle88

I realized this morning that we have done approximately zero shopping around for this wedding.

We booked the first venue we looked at (actually, my parents looked at. I didn't even see the venue until over a month later). We booked the first photographer we met with the next day. I bought my dress at the first store I went to. Bridesmaid dresses were bought at the second store, but 2 of them bought the dress they liked from the first store. The officiant kind of fell into our laps. FI got his tux from the first place he went to (although that was probably on purpose). We did, however, talk to multiple DJs before finally booking one.

Now we are planning on going back to our hometown next weekend, doing our catering tasting (catering comes with the venue so we didn't shop around on that, either), engagement photos, and a couple of cake tastings. Except that we are planning on canceling one of the cake tastings due to timing issues...

As FI said when I was talking to him about it, we haven't made any bad decisions (we think), we've just been getting lucky. I think it's because we are A)planning from another state and are only making limited trips home and having a relatively short engagement, so we have to make some quick decisions and not second guess ourselves.

Did anyone else who planned from afar notice this? Or are we just getting really lucky?

StephJean83

We haven't even decided on a location for the wedding, let alone book anything. We have a DJ and officiant but both of those will go wherever we decide. We have looked at probably 10 venues so far, and I know FH wants to look at a few more. I wish we could be as lucky as you.

JennaMichelle88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_planning-from-another-state?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bc9c158a-1482-482b-8c72-3a7a6250cc95Post:bdd94a3f-304a-437f-a53d-e4a18a326be3">Re: Planning from another state</a>:
[QUOTE]We're planning from another state and having a similar experience. We have booked pretty much the first of each vendor we met with. We saw two venues and booked the second one.  We did a lot of research online and spoke with vendors on the phone before meeting with them in person, so I'm not sure I'd attribute it to luck as much as good research.  <strong>Also we have a "good enough is good enough" approach to wedding planning.</strong> So that has made planning much quicker since we're not aiming for perfection. Some things (like flowers) I just need to be OK. Some things (like music) we want to be good. I don't need anything perfect. I just need everything hosted properly and to wind up married at the end of the day. 
Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

This has basically been my approach so I suppose that's what it is. I'm not getting bogged down in details, which is totally something I do in everyday life so I'm not sure how I've avoided it so far.

harper0813

I'm also planning from another state - living in Missouri, wedding in Wisconsin. I've actually found it really enjoyable. I'm able to unplug from wedding stuff when I want to, and keeping distance from my family (who is bordline obsessed with this wedding and the guest list) has helped me maintain my sanity.

I think living in another state helps you budget your time more. You do a lot of research so that when you travel to make plans/visit vendors, you've chosen ones that have great feedback and you already know fit the bill well.

We visited four venues, two florists, three bridal salons, and have done one tasting (our venue provides catering AND cake - with an incredibly talented pastry chef!). I booked a photographer - the only one I talked to - over the one. I met with one officiant and booked him right away. I talked to several DOCs over the phone and met with only one and booked her right away. I already knew what band I'd book, because I know the lead singer - boom, done.

When I visit next weekend, I'm meeting with a milliner to have a fancy hat made for my tea party-themed shower (I won a free custom-made fascinator) and I'm having my hair and makeup trialed.

Planning outside of state makes you super efficient!

JennaMichelle88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_planning-from-another-state?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bc9c158a-1482-482b-8c72-3a7a6250cc95Post:18882ce1-cd4d-45d4-9238-7b8c6db9356b">Re: Planning from another state</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm also planning from another state - living in Missouri, wedding in Wisconsin. I've actually found it really enjoyable. I'm able to unplug from wedding stuff when I want to, and keeping distance from my family (who is bordline obsessed with this wedding and the guest list) has helped me maintain my sanity. I think living in another state helps you budget your time more. You do a lot of research so that when you travel to make plans/visit vendors, you've chosen ones that have great feedback and you already know fit the bill well. We visited four venues, two florists, three bridal salons, and have done one tasting (our venue provides catering AND cake - with an incredibly talented pastry chef!). I booked a photographer - the only one I talked to - over the one. I met with one officiant and booked him right away. I talked to several DOCs over the phone and met with only one and booked her right away. I already knew what band I'd book, because I know the lead singer - boom, done. When I visit next weekend, I'm meeting with a milliner to have a fancy hat made for my tea party-themed shower (I won a free custom-made fascinator) and I'm having my hair and makeup trialed. Planning outside of state makes you super efficient!
Posted by zoberg[/QUOTE]

zoberg, where are you getting married? I'm getting married in WI, too - just outside of Madison. I definitely get the distance from family thing. When my mom texts me 3 times in one day about card boxes I can just ignore it.

harper0813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_planning-from-another-state?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bc9c158a-1482-482b-8c72-3a7a6250cc95Post:9b4afcd6-d255-42fc-9e0b-fa6874d32724">Re: Planning from another state</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Planning from another state : zoberg, where are you getting married? I'm getting married in WI, too - just outside of Madison. I definitely get the distance from family thing. When my mom texts me 3 times in one day about card boxes I can just ignore it.
Posted by JennaMichelle88[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm getting married in my hometown, Milwaukee! What city outside of Madison?</div>

JennaMichelle88

It's in Arena which is basically just east of Spring Green. About half an hour from Madison. It's kind of been a pain because I can't decide if I should tell people to stay in Madison where there are plenty of hotel options, or Spring Green where there is basically one very expensive hotel. It's the one thing that has been causing me stress about the wedding.

harper0813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_planning-from-another-state?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:bc9c158a-1482-482b-8c72-3a7a6250cc95Post:7e7c5be6-21f8-4c89-afb6-c3e92036dd79">Re: Planning from another state</a>:
[QUOTE]It's in Arena which is basically just east of Spring Green. About half an hour from Madison. It's kind of been a pain because I can't decide if I should tell people to stay in Madison where there are plenty of hotel options, or Spring Green where there is basically one very expensive hotel. It's the one thing that has been causing me stress about the wedding.
Posted by JennaMichelle88[/QUOTE]

<div>I know where that is! I went on a canoe trip in Spring Green and passed through Arena for lunch. Cool town.</div><div>
</div><div>I don't think it would hurt to give some options on the outskirts of Madison. :)</div>

erinlin25

we are getting married 1.5 hours from where we live (2.5 hours from my parents) so we definitely did not want to have multiple trips and appointments.  I researched a lot of potential people online, and went off venue recommendations.  Booked the 2nd venue, first DJ, photographer, florist, bakery, reverend.  I think being a far had more motivation to just get it done.  I met you, I like you, sold! 

lyndausvi

I planned from a territory to another state.   My parents picked the venue (based on some online research I had done). We didn't actually see the place until after it was booked.   The same weekend we saw the venue we booked the florist.  I booked the photographer from the recommendation from the venue.  We met and had our e-pics taken that same weekend.

I booked the DJ and ceremony music (steel pans) over the phone. Met them the day of the wedding.  Actually come to think of it I never met the steel pan guys at all.  The DJ was recommended by the florist, venue and the photographer.  We booked the officiant from a the islands also based on a recommendation from the venue.

I can't say I really second guessed myself.  Actually, I found planning fairly easy.  I did ask for recommendations from the vendors.  The photographer asked who my florist was and then he said she was great.  I ask the photographer and florist about DJ's, they both recommended somone who was also on the venue's list.  That might have made me feel more comfortable knowing that everyone had worked together before.

lisabeats

I've had similar experiences. We live far from home, but I had a pretty good idea of some of the things I wanted. I knew the church I wanted to get married in, that was easy. I had a good idea of a venue in the area that would be big enough. They both had a date in the month I wanted open, that was easy. I went home for Christmas and bought my dress in the first store, that was easy. I knew the band we wanted, easy. I booked the first photographer I met with (though that has become a bit problematic, it is working out). A good friend is helping with invitations, and I'll be home a week leading up to the wedding, so I'll have time for last minute things. Easy!

The "worst" part was finding a bridesmaids dress. I'm cheap so I shopped around a lot. My Between me and my 5 girls, we're in 6 different states and 4 different time zones, so getting ALL together wasn't going to happen. MOH was saintly and would order a dress, try it on, take a pic, discuss, and then return it. Rinse and repeat like five times! I loved her for being willing to do that. Finally, I found one I liked on clearance online. The girls all liked it, it was under the agreed upon budget, and they all ordered within two days. BOOM.

Meredith1050

I am planning from across country as well.  Living in NY, wedding in California.  The wedding is next weekend.  I've never even been to the wedding or met any of my vendors.  I got a good feeling from most of them over the phone and on email.  I think you just have to trust your gut.  Things may not work out perfectly, but they will probabaly be just fine.  It's kind of exciting planning from afar and imagining how it will all come together.  The important thing is that your family and friends will be there and you will marry the man you love.  The rest are just details!    Good luck

emeejeeayen

Mmm my first few items were like that (venue, photog, etc), but cake and hair/makeup have been an effing disaster. 

gpeeples

I'm in the same boat as you.  I'm planning a wedding in NJ (where both FI and I grew up and and most of family and friends live) even though we live in PA.  Although it's only 2 hours away, it's difficult to find days that both FI and I have off, especially since I work in retail and usually get my schedule only a few days before the week starts.  We are also only having a 6 month engagement, so that doesn't help.  We looked at 3 different venues before we picked one, but for all of our vendors, we picked the first one we met.