Chit Chat

vent

my dad is a total douchecanoe.  fine.  a lot of ladies have this issue on the boards.  i don't think i am special or anything.  i just need to release some sh!t.  

i have been REALLY good about his BS for the past year.  he has met FI a total of 3 times in the 4 years we have been dating.  he lives 2 hours from me, when my mother lives ACROSS THE COUNTRY and has met FI and FIs family so many times.  this is including the E party.  hasn't contributed any $ towards the wedding.  not that i would have accepted it anyway.  the last part was more informational than rant.

i haven't spoken to him in probably a month or so.  that wouldn't be totally unusal if i wasn't getting married.  i called triple the amount i normally do, emailed, texted.  he finally picked up the phone tonight.  

2 weeks before the wedding, he hasn't book his hotel, having suit issues, then starts talking to me about looking at furniture that he wants to get rid of b/c he is thinking about retiring?  complaining about lack of work, pulling his usual Eeyore routine.  then he starts in about how his life is changing and i am getting married and having a total moment.  this is a FIRST and i am really not equipped to deal.  

on top of that, he is all bent out of shape about some girlfriend that dumped him THAT I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS DATING.  he said, "i guess she thinks i mistreated her or that i was unappreciative of her.  i was getting sick and tired of it being me and her all.the.time.  so i planned/took some me time, and that backfired.  so now i have nothing but me time."

somedays, i really feel like the parent.

vent over.  can we go back to telling crazy dating stories?  or weirdest places people have had sex?

thanks for listening.

ETA:  at the very end of the call he shouts into the phone: i want to see the grandkids!
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Re: vent

  • Aw Rach, I'm sorry that your dad sucks... I really hope that in 2 weeks, he comes and is pleasant and loving and that you have the brilliant and beautiful day you are intended to have. I really do, but know now that you have people who have listened to what you said and are thoughtful of you!! 

    Your wish is my command, I'll make a new fun topic! 
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • Thanks Muppet!  I know the day will be great regardless of what he does if he comes etc.  

    I am obviously a bit more stressed than usual... and thought for his only child's wedding he'd get his act together.  

    I love your fun topic threads!!!
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  • I feel your pain Rachel....

    I am an only child too! My parents have been divorced since 2000. And my Dad has had the same "Eeyore" routine too! Only mine decided to get married last year and not tell me until 10 months later... claiming that I had announced my engagement before he had a chance (mind you, he married in Feb and I got engaged in May!). 

    Anyway, he lives in Florida and I'm in Cali. He's happy for me and says he's coming to the wedding... is eager to meet my FI. But always manages to make a random comment about "making the trip" -like he may not be able to afford it? As far as I know he hasn't made any arrangements. Sure hope he gets it together.

    Hope your's does too! 

    Anniversary
  • thanks brita!  i hope your dad gets his stuff together and makes it to CA.  i just wish they could see how their selfishness and Eeeyore BS affects those around them...
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_vent-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:db2e90a9-b1a7-4fbe-bbc7-8322f91fa31fPost:3348adb8-6473-46e4-b69d-7fb342339e22">vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]vent over.  can we go back to telling crazy dating stories? <u> or weirdest places people have had sex?</u> thanks for listening. ETA:  at the very end of the call he shouts into the phone: i want to see the grandkids!
    Posted by rachelm13[/QUOTE]

    For me, it's probably the floor of a tent, nothing special, but a former coworker of mine told me once that the most exciting place she'd ever done it was in a tank. Her husband was in the military. I thought that was notable and possibly intriguing.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • I'm sorry about your dad Rachel. My dad is a complete douchecanoe as well. He's not even in my life anymore. After backstabbing me and my siblings too many times we cut him out. He still refuses to understand why we won't acknowledge his existence. Hopefully your father thinks about you and your FI on your wedding day.
  • Sorry your dad is a douche.  Mine is as well.  My father has spoken to my FI on three occasions in nearly 5 years and couldn't name FI's immediate family members if his life depended on it.

    If you want to share douchey dad stories, I'm all ears.  I have some that are fantastically awful.  I've been in a funk over some of it in the past few days, so I've been using the crazy dating stories to distract myself too.
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  • Thank you ladies. It just sucks. I can't worry about what crisis or changes he is going through. He is a 62 year old man child. I need to not let him make this about him. I am sorry you other ladies have douchey fathers too. It would be nice if there was a class or something that was mandatory: how to be a decent parent/role model, or at least not a douchcanoe. Kristan, thank you!!! I like virtual hugs. :) Muppet, a tank? Like fully armed tank? Wow. That wins. I thought a roof deck outdoor shower on a roof in NYC was epic. I stand corrected.
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  • yeah, a real tank. I wish it were my story. I wish I were that cool.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • The best one that is not mine, it is my friend's, a BM in my wedding and I totally have her permission to tell it...  it's not so much a place, but a weird sex story nevertheless.

    She was very casually dating this wannabe emo rocker.  She liked his body, but, not so much the rest of him.  (Hair, face, really also hated when he spoke) They went back to his place and she had a surprise for him.

    She made him wear her Darth Vader helmet while having sex. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_vent-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:db2e90a9-b1a7-4fbe-bbc7-8322f91fa31fPost:2712a641-fb4d-48b0-a93d-9dab820cefbe">Re: vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]The best one that is not mine, it is my friend's, a BM in my wedding and I totally have her permission to tell it...  it's not so much a place, but a weird sex story nevertheless. She was very casually dating this wannabe emo rocker.  She liked his body, but, not so much the rest of him.  (Hair, face, really also hated when he spoke) They went back to his place and she had a surprise for him. <strong>She made him wear her Darth Vader helmet while having sex</strong>. 
    Posted by rachelm13[/QUOTE]

    Hahaha that's awesome.

    I have a douchey dad too. We're in court proceedings to sell my childhood home because he wants "his 90K" he put into the "system." I've spoken probably less than a dozen words to him in the past year. Every time I see him and his wife she's always like "He really misses you! You should call him." But he never asked to visit me at college (only 2 hours away) and anytime he'd call it would be to talk about himself. He'd say I'd only call if I needed something and I would be like "Yeah, our insurance # so I can pay the co-pay for my appointment."

    BUT I'd say for me it would be a dorm-building shower OR in the backyard on a lawn chair OR in the bathroom during a party at my BF's house. 
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'm sorry your dad is such a megadouche. It sucks that he can't think about someone else's life for a moment. As far as the second half of the topic... My only defence was that I used to be Goth.... Graveyard.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_vent-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:db2e90a9-b1a7-4fbe-bbc7-8322f91fa31fPost:4406bd97-1fa7-4db6-8ff4-92165b587b86">Re: vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: vent : Hahaha that's awesome. I have a douchey dad too. We're in court proceedings to sell my childhood home because he wants "his 90K" he put into the "system." I've spoken probably less than a dozen words to him in the past year. Every time I see him and his wife she's always like "He really misses you! You should call him." But he never asked to visit me at college (only 2 hours away) and anytime he'd call it would be to talk about himself. He'd say I'd only call if I needed something and I would be like "Yeah, our insurance # so I can pay the co-pay for my appointment." BUT I'd say for me it would be a dorm-building shower OR in the backyard on a lawn chair OR in the bathroom during a party at my BF's house. 
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]



    Yes! This is the same crap that happens to me... Minus the court proceedings... Although, it's not out of the realm of possibilities.

    Lawn chairs can be tricky... Especially if it is muggy out. :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_vent-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:db2e90a9-b1a7-4fbe-bbc7-8322f91fa31fPost:8dea1593-98f0-472b-9fb8-af968d6bb38b">Re:vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sorry your dad is such a megadouche. It sucks that he can't think about someone else's life for a moment.

    As far as the second half of the topic... My only defence was that I used to be Goth.... Graveyard.
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]



    Thank you Pele, it is just 2 more weeks then I can re-evaluate how much contact after the HM.

    and as for the graveyard..... Ahahahahah amazing.
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  • In Response to Re:vent:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:vent:I'm sorry your dad is such a megadouche. It sucks that he can't think about someone else's life for a moment.

    As far as the second half of the topic... My only defence was that I used to be Goth.... Graveyard.Posted by Peledreamsofrain

    Thank you Pele, it is just 2 more weeks then I can reevaluate how much contact after the HM.

    and as for the graveyard..... Ahahahahah amazing. Posted by rachelm13[/QUOTE]

    I was magical :p In the middle of Washington DC, so we were in our club clothes and appropriately hooligan looking.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_vent-15?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:db2e90a9-b1a7-4fbe-bbc7-8322f91fa31fPost:045674fb-4155-4c29-9dcb-97d3e0695846">Re: vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: vent : Omg, I'm so glad I came back to this thread!!
    Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

    Holy crap! Me too!!  I should've thought of that though!!! I dated a guy who was wonderful...but he had no neck and a really big head and I couldn't get over it. He was a wicked geek, I bet he would've thought it was kinky if I put a Darth Vader mask on him.

    The reason I came back was to ask Rach if she felt better today.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

  • Thank you. I do. Honestly reading all these post and funny threads really made me get over the hump. I am not welcoming my dad with open arms but I no longer feel like never leaving the house again. TK is a special place!
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  • Ok awesome. If you ever need cheering, just lemme know and I'll find something wicked funny just for you.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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