Damn him!

Salsera29

(I'm not actually mad about this, just a little vent)

I suppose I should be happy that FI wants to write our own vows. I begrudgingly agreed...then he tells me last night that his are DONE! WTH? I'm all stressed about it, especially since he's a much better writer than me and I'm afraid I'm going to sound stupid...and he's all, "Mine are done." 

Grrr maybe if I didn't have the whole wedding to plan on my own I could get some vows written too...grumble grumble...

Did any of you write your own vows? Did it stress you out?

AddieCake

No. I knew that would stress me out trying to make them perfect, and it was not a task I wanted to take on!

Maggie0829

No we did not write our own vows.  Everyone who asked looked taken aback that we weren't.  I just knew that H would procrastinate and not think of anything until the day of and then he would be so nervous that he would stumble and say "uh" over and over again.  Even with the already written vows we had he still flubbed his lines many times and then just had to read them directly from our officiants book.  But it was funny and so totally him.

For our vows we found some online and mixed and matched until they suited us perfectly.

Jessa617

I wanted to at first, but then after thinking about it decided not to. Both H and I are fairly decent writers so I didn't think we would have a problem there. It was more or less taking the time to sit down and actually think about how I felt and putting them into words. H was very nervous during the ceremony and would not have been able to read anything anyways.

I looked through a bunch of ceremonies my JP emailed me and found some vows I liked and stuck with those. Even though we didn't write them ourselves, they were still just as meaningful. H teared up while he was saying his.

Salsera29

I'm most definitely going to have to ask google for some inspiration.  I think it's sweet that he wanted to write them, but I just keep thinking about when we met with our officiant and she asked us to tell why we loved the other...I answered with things like, "He makes me laugh, I love his intelligence," etc. and he said things like, "She makes me a better version of myself." 

I better start working on this now. 

harper0813

I would like us to write our own vows, and FI has no opinion, which is basically his view on the entire wedding (he just wants a lot of people dancing and hooking up [?]). Like Maggie, I'm nervous that he'll procrastinate - and that he'll decide the night before that he doesn't want to write his own vows after all and throw a big girly fit.

I know that he'd do a lovely job writing vows, though, because he wrote a REALLY cute speech for when he asked my dad permission to marry me. It's saved as a note on his phone. I cried when I read it (he showed me a couple days after he proposed). And he gave a little speech when he was proposing that was so sweet and he teared up - but I don't remember any of it because my heart was pounding and I kept laughing in this really creepy way. I only remember the first line: "I'm sorry I made you wait so long..."

Anyway, I have fears about vow-writing, but I'd really like to do it. You'll come up with something awesome!

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_damn-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e5b68b89-6336-4e40-b158-a6103c1eb41cPost:00549c22-f664-43cb-9f57-927258cd9dd7">Re: Damn him!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm most definitely going to have to ask google for some inspiration.  I think it's sweet that he wanted to write them,<strong> but I just keep thinking about when we met with our officiant and she asked us to tell why we loved the other</strong>...I answered with things like, "He makes me laugh, I love his intelligence," etc. and he said things like, "She makes me a better version of myself."  I better start working on this now. 
Posted by Salsera29[/QUOTE]

Is it horrible that I don't have specific answers to that question?  I just love him.  Period.  I don't think I have to back that up with supportive reasons.  I hate those types of questions, it is like, why do I have to have a reason to love him, can't I just love him and that be the end of it?  I guess that is another reason why we had our friend marry us, I just couldn't go through that crap with a random stranger.

Any how, back to your originally scheduled program!

harper0813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_damn-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e5b68b89-6336-4e40-b158-a6103c1eb41cPost:768c39bb-68eb-4061-8a55-5e1cb9b6d190">Re: Damn him!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Damn him! : Is it horrible that I don't have specific answers to that question?  I just love him.  Period.  I don't think I have to back that up with supportive reasons.  I hate those types of questions, it is like, why do I have to have a reason to love him, can't I just love him and that be the end of it?  I guess that is another reason why we had our friend marry us, I just couldn't go through that crap with a random stranger. Any how, back to your originally scheduled program!
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I have this same problem! Actually, FI asked me (minutes before proposing) why I wanted to marry him. I said "Because I like you," and he second-guessed proposing to me because it wasn't romantic enough.</div><div>
</div><div>Oops.

</div>

artbyallie

Don't worry about comparing your vows to his. We wrote our own, and we decided to write sonnets. I got him to look over mine, but he kept his secret until the rehearsal. Oh, did I mention H has a master's degree in writing poetry? Ha. I knew my poem would not be nearly as well-written as his. But I did mine in blank verse, so it didn't rhyme. His was also iambic pentameter, and rhymed. He wrote it in a couple hours where I took a few days. But both were lovely and touching.

AllieBear725

My FI has his done too! I haven't even started! The vows I can think of are all so childish and I don't think anyone else would get them because they are inside jokes. I'm having a hard time writing mine!

winelover123

We're planning on writing our own. I plan on googling for inspiration because FI is so stinkin' sweet that I know I can't match his! We're also having a middle-man read both of our vows and see if they fit ok together. FI doesn't want me to read his before the wedding, which I'm ok with. I just know FI's vows are going to be super sweet and mine won't compare. Oh well. Maybe I can read mine first so everyone remembers his instead......

BostonGIrl4732

FI is the more romantic of the two of us.  Catholic vows for us.  We could write a prayer or something (I think), but I doubt we will.  I'm just working on a short toast for the RD.  With the help of a book of love quotes my mom bought me.

Salsera29

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_damn-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e5b68b89-6336-4e40-b158-a6103c1eb41cPost:bbbb1e6e-f77d-4c86-97f0-7a9fa84d5e2b">Re: Damn him!</a>:
[QUOTE]We're planning on writing our own. I plan on googling for inspiration because FI is so stinkin' sweet that I know I can't match his<strong>! We're also having a middle-man read both of our vows and see if they fit ok together</strong>. FI doesn't want me to read his before the wedding, which I'm ok with. I just know FI's vows are going to be super sweet and mine won't compare. Oh well. Maybe I can read mine first so everyone remembers his instead......
Posted by winelover123[/QUOTE]

<div>I like that idea!</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

vanityink

DH and I wrote ours. I'm a novelist and creative writing teacher where he's, not, so the joke was that I was going to have three pages to read and he'd have a paragraph. Of course I got mine done first (not hard since he wrote his the night before) but both were lovely and heartfelt (neither of us are mushy romantics so they were rather practical, but still heartfelt!)

Salsera29

I think I know how most of you feel about "jokey" vows, and I'm planning on making mine serious, but do you think it would be ok to just put in at the end, "and I promise never to root for the Red Sox?" Is that cute or messing with the solemnity of the ceremony?

(Of course the first thing I think of is the joke). 

BostonGIrl4732

As a Red Sox fan, I say it's highly inappropriate. ;-)

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_damn-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e5b68b89-6336-4e40-b158-a6103c1eb41cPost:768c39bb-68eb-4061-8a55-5e1cb9b6d190">Re: Damn him!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Damn him! : Is it horrible that I don't have specific answers to that question?  I just love him.  Period.  I don't think I have to back that up with supportive reasons.  I hate those types of questions, it is like, why do I have to have a reason to love him, can't I just love him and that be the end of it?
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
Same. We can't write our own vows because we'd have nothing to say besides '... love youuuu.'

winelover123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_damn-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e5b68b89-6336-4e40-b158-a6103c1eb41cPost:25c5818b-c10f-44cc-9133-a12237526b81">Re: Damn him!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I know how most of you feel about "jokey" vows, and I'm planning on making mine serious, but do you think it would be ok to just put in at the end, "an<strong>d I promise never to root for the Red Sox</strong>?" Is that cute or messing with the solemnity of the ceremony? (Of course the first thing I think of is the joke). 
Posted by Salsera29[/QUOTE]

Your vows are yours to do what you'd like with them. Mine will most likely be more light-hearted. I think most people on here prefer serious vows, but go with what fits you as a couple. I'll probably add some sort of HIMYM or Boy Meets World reference in there. We have a few shows we watch together and reference quite frequently in conversations. I think the bolded would be cute :)

Salsera29

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_damn-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e5b68b89-6336-4e40-b158-a6103c1eb41cPost:54520905-cd01-4dee-8136-a6fdd9af1309">Re: Damn him!</a>:
[QUOTE]As a Red Sox fan, I say it's highly inappropriate. ;-)
Posted by BostonGIrl4732[/QUOTE]

<div>Omg you just made me think of all the Red Sox fans that will be at our wedding and I had this horrible image of getting my vows "boooed." Yikes! Ok it's out. </div>

MissMolly

Nope. We were planning to at first, then upon meeting and talking to our commissioner, a good point was brought up to us: writing your own vows means either bringing along a note card to read them from, or memorizing with the chance of forgetting in front of all your friends and relatives. After that, we decided to go with what our commissioner is planning for us. It'll still be nice, and hey, it's one more thing to cross off the to-do list! :)


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_damn-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e5b68b89-6336-4e40-b158-a6103c1eb41cPost:f898ce77-1fc6-4a3c-8967-53e6f754b252">Damn him!</a>:
[QUOTE](I'm not actually mad about this, just a little vent) I suppose I should be happy that FI wants to write our own vows. I begrudgingly agreed...then he tells me last night that his are DONE! WTH? I'm all stressed about it, especially since he's a much better writer than me and I'm afraid I'm going to sound stupid...and he's all, "Mine are done."  Grrr maybe if I didn't have the whole wedding to plan on my own I could get some vows written too...grumble grumble... Did any of you write your own vows? Did it stress you out?
Posted by Salsera29[/QUOTE]

audrewuh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_damn-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e5b68b89-6336-4e40-b158-a6103c1eb41cPost:f168535c-6d88-4d73-b14d-2e55516d6852">Re: Damn him!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Damn him! : Your vows are yours to do what you'd like with them. Mine will most likely be more light-hearted. I think most people on here prefer serious vows, but go with what fits you as a couple. <strong>I'll probably add some sort of HIMYM or Boy Meets World reference in there. </strong>We have a few shows we watch together and reference quite frequently in conversations. I think the bolded would be cute :)
Posted by winelover123[/QUOTE]

<div>We had a Friends reference in our vows and in our Sand Ceremony. In our vows, it was very subtle, but in our SC, it was a direct quote from Joey and most of our guests were giggling. I loved it! H didn't know I put it in there either, so he started cracking up  as we were pouring the sand. </div>

avolker1

FI really wanted to write our own vows but I said no. I enjoy writing but I would be so incredibly nervous and selfconscious to read them in front of all our friends and family. FI has no problem being in the spotlight but it gives me anxiety. We had to full out a questionnaire about each other for our officiant, and I agree that it's really difficult to articulate why you love someone. I kept rewriting it because I didn't want it to sound generic. I read what FI wrote about me and it was sweet.

Peledreamsofrain

My H wanted us to write custom vows too, but it was too much additional stress on top of getting everything else perfect. I also felt sentimental about traditional vows. Ive always wanted to say those words to someone and would have looked like an asshole doing that after he read something he wrote himself.