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Note from the mod

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Re: Note from the mod

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:f5ad5ca5-67ba-41e6-a77b-68c1adeaa7df">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : Well, that's what we thought.  And the plan from the get go was to just validate bad ideas and give out dumb advice (some that we invented and some that real posters give out around here daily). It came from someone mentioning in an FFF a few weeks ago that it would be funny if we just validated bad ideas all day one day. Maybe it was lame and juvenile, but we never claimed it to be the prank of the century. It was just some silly nonsense for a day and now it's blown up into this mess where it should have just had people rolling their eyes and moving on.  
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    I guess I was one of the few that just rolled my eyes and chuckled.  I never in a million years thought something so silly and harmless would blow up into such craziness.  From my understanding of the TOS is that none of you did anything wrong.

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     For some reason this whole series post makes me think of this 

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sONfxPCTU0

    .I think my age is showing..

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    Yeah this did get blown way out of proportion but it got blown out of proportion by the mod(s). If they would have said nothing, the AEs would have disappeared at the end of April Fools Day and life would have continued as normal yesterday. And I think if the Knot gods were the ones who truly wanted the AEs banned, they should have posted something on each board explaining WHY this would happen and they should have been the ones doing it, so they are not blameless either. The whole situation was handled ridiculously and Hoboken posting this thread to try to get people to beg her to stay is just exacerbating the situation and I'm sure she knew that when posting.


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    In Response to Re:Note from the mod:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod:In Response to Re: Note from the mod : Maybe it was lame and juvenile, but we never claimed it to be the prank of the century. It was just some silly nonsense for a day and now it's blown up into this mess where it should have just had people rolling their eyes and moving on. nbsp; Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Next year, do us all a favor and just airlift the principle's car to the roof of the school.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:e50abaf6-15c5-40f1-adf4-1745deacab25">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know this isn't a democracy, but can I put in a vote for dropping it? I like you guys, and the fighting is no fun.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    <div>I see close to zero fighting going on here.  Just questions that are being ignored, and a little scuffle between someone who doesn't post on CC but apparently wants to be Hobokens BFF and everyone else.</div>
    I french with my man
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:e50abaf6-15c5-40f1-adf4-1745deacab25">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know this isn't a democracy, but can I put in a vote for dropping it? I like you guys, and the fighting is no fun.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
    I'm torn. I agree with you b/c I don't like the fighting, either, but maybe Linger is right. If there is going to be lingering resentment, I don't want that, either. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:91873110-f49d-4d7f-b2cc-1cfe3ab5ca40">Re:Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Note from the mod: Next year, do us all a favor and just airlift the principle's car to the roof of the school.
    Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]
    Haha!  Will do!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:a86bb051-e48f-419d-8dcc-791d8ef4431a">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : Does my number of posts somehow invalidate my evaluation of a situation? And does your experience with Hoboken make it ok to interact with her however you see fit? I don't think so. I respect the fact that you ladies have been around for longer than I have, but that can create blind spots. It is easier to see a situation from a more objective place, as many regs have pointed out to new posters. The reason it can be valuable for someone to come to TK and ask for opinions is that a bride can get very bogged down in the details and history of a situation. <strong>I am simply pointing out that the way you are treating Hoboken now would not be tolerated by the regs in a different situation.</strong>
    Posted by RWolff[/QUOTE]

    You are simply not realizing that the questions asked of Hoboken were not answered. All the regs wanted were answers of which she has not given. She then got all upset because people were saying, hey where is my answer? How is the bullying?

    Also, by your definitely of bullying, her going over to a board that she never posts on and calling out the Mod about ONE AE thread, that you could consider bullying too.

     

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:1e909732-23bc-417b-aebc-100a10bf25b5">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : I'm torn. I agree with you b/c I don't like the fighting, either, but maybe Linger is right. If there is going to be lingering resentment, I don't want that, either. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    This is what my thinking is too.

    Apologies need to be made.  TK Gods need to give full answers.

    I don't like drama, it usually gives me a headache, but in the end this can't be swept under the rug because the resentment will just build and build and build and one day the crap will hit the fan and a lot of feelings will get hurt worse then are now.

    We are adults.  If mistakes were made, own them, apologize for them and make adjustments as to not make them again.  Passing the blame never works and it just irritates everyone involved.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:c4c7cbac-496a-49f4-ac2a-5f00a0f491c0">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : This.  Sorry, I would have been fine to drop it, but Hoboken posting a thread like this and then refusing to respond again is just awful and childish behavior.  I have been in damn near this exact situation on these boards 3 times now.  Twice, I've tried the "drop it" tactic and twice it has had catastrophic (relative to the situation at least) results.  ETA:  And with all due respect, I'm not likely to take suggestions of dropping it from someone who couldn't wait to get in here and kiss Hoboken's ass when she posted this.  Love you to bits, Lia, but you've been making excuses this whole time for this situation, so I'm feeling some alterior motive behind the suggestion.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    This.  I don't think anyone wants a repeat of what happened on WP a couple of years ago.
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    Rwolf was just a May bride still pouting like a popular middle school girl being called out on being mean. Completely textbook behavior to try to find a way to punish the whistleblower. If she can prove to people that I'm a bad person, then she never was and she can sleep at night. She doesn't give a damn about Hoboken, which is the worst part.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:cc0101bd-3db0-42b0-9b04-4ff161542e95">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : I'm just not sure what there is to hash out. Hoboken thought the AEs were bannable and she banned them. I read the TOS and it doesn't say "no trolling" but obvious trolls are obvious, obvious trolls got banned. No one's real account got banned, so can we call no harm no foul? As for going over to NEY to solicit bans, was it the nicest thing? No. But is it any different than when people rally the troops here or on E to push back against bad advice on a month board? I don't think so, and that is something I think most of us have participated in.<strong> I think Hoboken got the message that she made a bad call</strong>, so I just don't see the need to harp on it and make her scream uncle. Until 2 days ago, I've heard nothing but nice things about Hoboken's mod skills, so can we chalk it up to a bad day?
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    Really?  Because what I am seeing, she is putting all the blame on TK gods and the people who made the AEs.  And I would have bowed out of this tread a while ago had it not been for Captian-Save-A-Mod.
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    Like I said before, if Hoboken wanted to ban us here on CC b/c she felt like it was how she wanted to handle the situation, that's her prerogative as according to Irene, it was a board to board call. The big question for me (and it seems a couple others) remains why she went to another board to try to elicit bans and also why she ONLY went to that board to do it. I really do think she should come back and answer that. Whatever the answer is, I am certainly not holding it against her, and the other ladies seem to like her well enough not to do so, either. She handled the situation poorly yesterday is all. It's not like we all think she's the worst mod ever b/c of it. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    In Response to Re:Note from the mod:[QUOTE]Like I said before, if Hoboken wanted to ban us here on CC b/c she felt like it was how she wanted to handle the situation, that's her prerogative as according to Irene, it was a board to board call. The big question for me and it seems a couple others remains why she went to another board to try to elicit bans and also why she ONLY went to that board to do it. I really do think she should come back and answer that. Whatever the answer is, I am certainly not holding it against her, and the other ladies seem to like her well enough not to do so, either. She handled the situation poorly yesterday is all. It's not like we all think she's the worst mod ever b/c of it.nbsp; Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    This x1000000000000
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:040607c2-77a3-4fba-ac7f-e9687c4122f1">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]Like I said before, if Hoboken wanted to ban us here on CC b/c she felt like it was how she wanted to handle the situation, that's her prerogative as according to Irene, it was a board to board call. The big question for me (and it seems a couple others) remains why she went to another board to try to elicit bans and also why she ONLY went to that board to do it. I really do think she should come back and answer that. <strong>Whatever the answer is, I am certainly not holding it against her, and the other ladies seem to like her well enough not to do so, either</strong>. She handled the situation poorly yesterday is all. It's not like we all think she's the worst mod ever b/c of it. 
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>THIS.</div><div>
    </div><div>I really just want to know why she was over there.  As a reg over on NEY, I just want an answer.  Give me a real answer and I will drop the damned thing.</div>
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    In Response to Re:Note from the mod:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod:In Response to Re: Note from the mod : No and no, we aren't fb or IRL friends, I was just hazarding a guess. I was hoping to cool down this thread, but I've had the opposite effect, so I'm just going to show myself out before I make things even worse. Stage, I hope we are still friends on.Posted by Liatris2010Christ on a cruth! nbsp;Of course we are. nbsp;What is it about most women that seems to make them unable to disagree without dissolving friendships? nbsp;Not just you, Lia, but I mean in general. nbsp;Why is this even a worry or consideration? Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Heh, because society likes quiet agreeable women. Just watch the most recent indurance commercials where the agent is talking to a bunch of kids. In most, the little girls are talked over or out and out shushed.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:0e4b5878-b16d-4da3-9df2-32658df809ef">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : No and no, we aren't fb or IRL friends, I was just hazarding a guess. I was hoping to cool down this thread, but I've had the opposite effect, so I'm just going to show myself out before I make things even worse. Stage, I hope we are still friends on.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    Lia - Stage and I joke about sharing a brain but we've been in plenty of arguments.  She's not petty.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:1dab60d1-95e4-4242-ae5b-b9c968e1c2e6">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : THIS. I really just want to know why she was over there.  As a reg over on NEY, I just want an answer.  Give me a real answer and I will drop the damned thing.
    Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

    I think this is what the majority of people want.  They want truthful answers/reasons for the actions.  That is all.  If those things are given I guarantee most will just drop the subject and move on.

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    I'm having serious de-ja-vu right now of the WP regs begging Banana for an honest answer.
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    So, I remember Lucygate very well, but have no memory of Banana-rama on WP. Any one mind filling me in?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:53aa6e0d-f6f9-44eb-894c-799321320cde">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm having serious de-ja-vu right now of the WP regs begging Banana for an honest answer.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    <div>I wasn't around for this debacle.  I'm afraid to ask what the outcome was.  I know there was an exodus, but what happened otherwise?</div>
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    RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2013
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Note from the mod:I'm having serious dejavu right now of the WP regs begging Banana for an honest answer. Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    Oh, good, I thought I was the only one. I have a feeling that we're totally getting the "Because I'm the mod, that's why" reply at 2am and nobody's around to say "that's not really an answer"

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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    edited April 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:0f324b01-7a77-4430-ac99-dc95f87f66ba">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : Long long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was a happy group of women on the WP board.  We were blunt, but helpful.  We hosted weekly "chat sessions" to get to know the newbies, had daily polls, and were basically everything a wedding message board community could ask for us to be.   Then, suddenly, our beloved mod started closing threads randomly, giving us warnings about being "nicer".  When we would ask what that meant, she would not answer.  When we asked what was going on, she would cite the mysterious TK gods who were cracking the whip at her (and ONLY her) board, though CC and E were both far more harsh and received way more complaints about them.  The line kept moving about what was and was not acceptable behavior and responses without any explanation. Then one day, some awful newb came in and started outright mocking Retread for being on her 3rd marriage.  Though most of us disagree with Retread most of the time, we rallied to her defense, particularly a poster named BabblingBrooke.  The newb decided to target Brooke at that point and went through every single one of her posts (seriously, posts like "my BMs wore yellow" were reported).  She was automatically banned due to excessive reports against her.  When we tried to fight for her and point out her side, Banana wouldn not answer us about what had happened or why.  Finally, she basically shrugged and said "well, I told you guys to be nicer.  This is what happens."  <strong>And the regs all left.</strong> Edited for clarity.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Some of us reappeared as cartoon characters.  Stage eventually returned to her previous form.</div>
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    RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2013
    Stage, you totally left out the part where when all if this was going down, KA wrote E a love letter for being such a friendly board to be on. Not like I'm holding that particular Internet grudge until I die or anything, o.O

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:0f324b01-7a77-4430-ac99-dc95f87f66ba">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : Long long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was a happy group of women on the WP board.  We were blunt, but helpful.  We hosted weekly "chat sessions" to get to know the newbies, had daily polls, and were basically everything a wedding message board community could ask for us to be.   Then, suddenly, our beloved mod started closing threads randomly, giving us warnings about being "nicer".  When we would ask what that meant, she would not answer.  When we asked what was going on, she would cite the mysterious TK gods who were cracking the whip at her (and ONLY her) board, though CC and E were both far more harsh and received way more complaints about them.  The line kept moving about what was and was not acceptable behavior and responses without any explanation. Then one day, some awful newb came in and started outright mocking Retread for being on her 3rd marriage.  Though most of us disagree with Retread most of the time, we rallied to her defense, particularly a poster named BabblingBrooke.  The newb decided to target Brooke at that point and went through every single one of her posts (seriously, posts like "my BMs wore yellow" were reported).  She was automatically banned due to excessive reports against her.  When we tried to fight for her and point out her side, Banana wouldn not answer us about what had happened or why.  Finally, she basically shrugged and said "well, I told you guys to be nicer.  This is what happens."  And the regs all left. Edited for clarity.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I just, wow, there are no words.</div><div>
    </div>
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    Isn't the "be nicer" Bananarama incident why GLB is GLB?

    ETA: Nevermind! Smile
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    edited April 2013
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:fdc61bc1-efd1-4835-9a74-5d43454e76c6">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]Isn't the "be nicer" Bananarama incident why GLB is GLB?
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Yep.  We were instructed to say something nice like "Good Luck" at the end of all of our posts.

    One more thing - WP used to be a heavily visited board.  For about two years now, it has been nearly dead.

    And Ramona - I had forgotten about the little love letters to truly mean boards.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:04e3dfc3-1dfe-4070-91d6-d97704a79a16">Re:Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]Stage, you totally left out the part where when all if this was going down, KA wrote E a love letter for being such a friendly board to be on. Not like I'm holding that particular Internet grudge until I die or anything, o.O
    Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]

    <div>E?!  From two years ago?  The board I wouldn't even whisper about in conversation off the internet because I'd be flamed for a year and a half?  That must be a typo.</div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:0f324b01-7a77-4430-ac99-dc95f87f66ba">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : Long long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was a happy group of women on the WP board.  We were blunt, but helpful.  We hosted weekly "chat sessions" to get to know the newbies, had daily polls, and were basically everything a wedding message board community could ask for us to be.   Then, suddenly, our beloved mod started closing threads randomly, giving us warnings about being "nicer".  When we would ask what that meant, she would not answer.  When we asked what was going on, she would cite the mysterious TK gods who were cracking the whip at her (and ONLY her) board, though CC and E were both far more harsh and received way more complaints about them.  The line kept moving about what was and was not acceptable behavior and responses without any explanation. Then one day, some awful newb came in and started outright mocking Retread for being on her 3rd marriage.  Though most of us disagree with Retread most of the time, we rallied to her defense, particularly a poster named BabblingBrooke.  The newb decided to target Brooke at that point and went through every single one of her posts (seriously, posts like "my BMs wore yellow" were reported).  She was automatically banned due to excessive reports against her.  When we tried to fight for her and point out her side, Banana wouldn not answer us about what had happened or why.  Finally, she basically shrugged and said "well, I told you guys to be nicer.  This is what happens."  And the regs all left. Edited for clarity.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Blehck. Sorry you guys had to deal with that.

    We should probably have knot story time regularly, so we can gather round to hear drama-tastic stories of days gone by, when you had to walk up hill both ways to get to E, and you could see a movie at CC for a nickel.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_note-from-the-mod?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:e95b042d-eaf0-4a73-a581-eae7e2644314Post:baa7cb23-76dc-45cc-a25c-3094c7aec43b">Re: Note from the mod</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Note from the mod : Blehck. Sorry you guys had to deal with that. We should probably have knot story time regularly, so we can gather round to hear drama-tastic <strong>stories of days gone by, when you had to walk up hill both ways to get to E, and you could see a movie at CC for a nickel.</strong>
    Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

    <div>Haha!  Awesome. </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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