annoying sleep habits

Barbiiieee

Okay, does this make me sound like a crazy person...? I don't find very much to be annoying about my fiance, but I find his sleep habits to be VERY irritating. We have loved together for almost three years, and this all is nothing new, but I'm feeling especially crabby about it right now and thought you guys might have some advice.

Firstly, he is a dead to the world sleeper. Like, almost nothing wakes him up. That's fine, except alarm clocks don't wake him up, so basically I am his human alarm clock. It literally takes me about 40 minutes to wake him up in the morning, and hello, I have to be getting ready for my day within that time as well. We also don't always keep the same schedule, so sometimes that means I will have to wake up an hour or two earlier to make sure he's out of bed. He's in the Army Reserves, so one weekend a month he has to be out of the house by 4am... So that means one weekend a month I'm also up by 3am. It drives me crazy, and I feel like I have tried everything to help him get himself up. We aren't a very argumentative couple, but this has led to many early morning arguments, because he feels like I don't wake him up very nicely, and quite frankly after trying for an hour to get him up, which sometimes makes me have to rush around, I probably am not very nice. There have been times that I have been not home or out of town, and he has slept through class or whatever he has going on.

How can I make him get himself up in the morning?

AddieCake

How did he get up before you moved in together?

radleyboo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoying-sleep-habits?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ebd9d268-5ac8-452e-971f-34147899c1a0Post:3989ab56-fb2a-4e8b-a5c5-c87a63f8a04f">Re: annoying sleep habits</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>How did he get up before you moved in together?
</strong>Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

This is a very good question.  I'd also like ot know if he's seen a doctor?  Maybe there's an underlying condition contributing to this?  Better safe than sorry.

I also agree that he is a grown man, not a child, and certainly not YOUR child.  Once he's late for work/class/reserves often enough, there will be consequences, and he'll have to figure something out on his own. 

My only other suggestion is a water bottle.  Spray him in the face with cold water, that might do the trick. 

PrincessJas

The Sonic Boom vibrating alarm clock does wonders.  If he can sleep through it at full volume, he really should go see a doctor.  

But seriously, stop being his human alarm clock.  You are enabling him, and it will never change if you don't put your foot down.

BostonGIrl4732

My FI often sleeps through alarm clocks.  I got him this: http://www.amazon.com/Sonic-Alert-SBJ525ss-Bomb-Black/dp/B004OWLUWM/ref=pd_sim_hpc_7

THAT gets him up.  Because I refuse to be woken up like that, I just normally shove him in the morning.  If I'm not there, or he has to get up first, he uses his alarm clock (but better get up quick or I'm going to be pissed).

cwaggoner07

I had some sleep issues a few years ago, and I went to a sleep doctor. It was covered by my insurance with a few copays, and I even did an overnight study where I slept in their office. You might recommend that. It sounds like a big deal, but it really wasn't.

lyndausvi

I'm a light sleeper so a lot of times I end up waking DH up. DH sleeps through just about anything.  Especially when Chef needs to go to the bathroom at 3am (rare, but does happen). 

I hate I have to wake him up, but fact is the alarm wakes me up anyway.  I would not be able to get to sleep knowing he has to be up. 

Luckily, it doesn't take DH hours to wake up.    We also have a dog who would wake him up at some point. He seems fine if I'm not at home. That might just mean he doesn't sleep as good because I'm not there.

I do not have any solutions, but you are not alone.

StephJean83

I also recommend seeing a DR. My FH has sleep apnea and getting the correct machine and what not has actually improved his ability to wake in the morning.

Peledreamsofrain

Yeah, add me into the group that wouldn't put up with this.  I'd let him sleep through his appointments and let him take flack like an adult. 

Jessa617

If my H alarm goes off for too long (he wakes up before I do, but usually my body knows his alarm goes off first and I can sleep through it) I just roll my body back into his a few times and kind of kick him. If he doesn't wake up, it's his loss.

I would also second the suggestion of bringing it up to his doctor. There could be an underlying issue and with the correct equipment/medication it can be resolved.

lyndsay782

My FH has a habit of forgetting to set his alarm, but I alway have mine set for 15 min after his so I can get up and make him breakfast/pack his lunch. (Don't judge me for my betty crocker housewife-ness, he's just happier when he's been fed properly).

Now, if he took a full 40 minutes to get up, I wouldn't put up with it.  He is notorious for spending too long in the bathroom... but that's another story.

Maggie0829

My H is the same way OP.  Luckily for me, when he needs to get up in the morning so do I so his alarm clock going off is insurance just in case mine doesn't go off.

But I definitely feel you on having to try and wake his butt up in the morning.  For the longest time I would spend 30 minutes trying to get him out of bed but now it is on him.  If he over sleeps and is late then that is not my fault.

As for how he used to get up before we lived together, either his Mom or Dad would wake him up.

Oh and H is such a hard sleeper that even with the alarm clock at full blast next to his head his parents heard it from their room with their door shut and with his door shut.  Also, if I do yell at H to shut his alarm clock off (like if he forgets to turn it off on the weekends) he will grunt and roll over without so much as hitting the dang thing.  And to make matters worse he is so disoriented when he does wake up I would be better off talking to the wall.

Makes me wonder how it will work if we have a kid.  Heck if he can sleep through 5 firetrucks coming down our street with horns blaring, a massive thunder storm that makes the house shake, and a dog barking in his face, I wonder if he will hear a baby crying down the hall.

winelover123

Get a vibrating alarm clock. It's what I use to get me up and out of bed. It's seriously wonderful. If you have the black-out curtains (because of street lights or something), you can get an alarm clock that mimicks the sunrise and should help to wake him up.

He really needs to see a doctor if it takes him that long to wake up. It could be something simple or it could be something big. I wouldn't put up with waking him up every morning though.

TKzilla

FI has to wake me up most mornings. He snores really bad (I'm pretty sure he has a deviated septum) so I wear wax earplugs to block out as much sound as possible. That, coupled with the Xanax I take at night to sleep... the alarm does not exist. I have allegedly yelled at the clock to shut up in a half-asleep state. I have no recollection of this, but it sounds like something I'd do.