not sure what to do...

Lowell14

I have chosen my wedding dress (but not paid, gotten measurments etc) but my lovely FI has told me he feels that our wedding is becoming too formal and it wasnt the laidback affair we had discussed (he hasnt yet told me what he would like to change...) We are getting married in city hall and having a small reception at a hotel. should i forgo the dress i chose and chose a simpler dress? Or would the dress be okay even if he is dressed more casually? Its my first and his second. His first wedding was massive and he doesnt like that idea for ours...

looking at the dress, i wonder if i could shorten it to ankle length...or am i over thinking it?

msuprincess04

That dress is certainly a more formal dress than laidback. When you get into the bigger ball-gown styles with a lot of detailing instead of a more simple a-line or sheath dresses, you increase the formality. In the end, you get to pick your dress, and what you feel happy in. If you rock it, then it works.

I, personally, think it's too formal for a casual wedding. Especially if he will be casually dressed.

If you want something more casual, but still has the ruffled skirt, maybe something like this: http://www.alfredangelo.com/collections/styles/2299

mlg78

I agree...this is way too formal.  He should match your level of formality and you should match his.  This is not a city hall dress.

AddieCake

I agree that dress looks too elaborate for what it sounds like he wants. 

Lowell14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5c3a0d2b-6641-46bf-b287-e5a4a9064cd8Post:31b2aaf7-e14f-4c85-8d4a-3e583f95c151">Re: not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have enough information to answer. What time is your wedding? What time is the reception? What kind of hotel? Is it in the hotel restaurant or a ballroom? Is it a plated dinner or buffet? Will there be dancing?
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

Weding is at 1pm at City Hall. The reception will be starting around 2:30. The hotel is a local 4 star boutique hotel. The reception is located in the hotels private room which holds max 100 people. Dinner wil be plated and there will be dancing...:)

Am going to look at dessy and see what i can find. may look at ivory or even blush to make it less formal. BUT first i think i need to determine what my Fi would like to wear and what level of fomality he would like...:) Thank you for your help. I think if he hadnt said anything i would have thought that the dress was fine. but now that i know he would like it to be more laid back, i want us to both be comfortable and a simpler dress may be the ticket :)

Maggie0829

I have to agree with the other posters.  That dress is extrememly formal for a city hall wedding with a small reception at a hotel.  For a city hall wedding I envision a simple dress (either short or long) that is closer to the body and does not have a large amount of embellishments and such.

Lowell14

http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2880/ - would something like this be better?
I think i was thinking 'when would i wear a dress like this again?' so i thought why not. Will need to speak with FI to determine what he would like. little sad i may not have this dress but I think that the simpler dress would suit better...

itzMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5c3a0d2b-6641-46bf-b287-e5a4a9064cd8Post:4ffcc24c-e89c-4b09-983a-50fc99b92f17">Re: not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]<a href="http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2880/" rel="nofollow">http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2880/</a> - would something like this be better? I think i was thinking 'when would i wear a dress like this again?' so i thought why not. Will need to speak with FI to determine what he would like. little sad i may not have this dress but I think that the simpler dress would suit better...
Posted by leahjwatts[/QUOTE]

I actually really like this one. I don't know if your FI should be picking out what you wear, though.

musicalcanadianbride

It looks a little elaborate for a city hall wedding, to be honest. Maybe something a little less full? Or something tea-length?

msuprincess04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5c3a0d2b-6641-46bf-b287-e5a4a9064cd8Post:4ffcc24c-e89c-4b09-983a-50fc99b92f17">Re: not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]<a href="http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2880/" rel="nofollow">http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/2880/</a> - would something like this be better? I think i was thinking 'when would i wear a dress like this again?' so i thought why not. Will need to speak with FI to determine what he would like. little sad i may not have this dress but I think that the simpler dress would suit better...
Posted by leahjwatts[/QUOTE]

If you want some ideas from your FI, why not show him a magazine and tell him to pick out three and likes and three he doesn't? This is what I did with my FI. Of course, he ended up going through the entire magazine with a maker and rated every dress in the book. But he likes fashion. I digress. If you ask him to do something like this, you'll get an idea of what he likes and what he doesn't, without asking him to flat out pick your dress. :)

Also, there are things form the original dress you could still incorporate into a less formal dress. The sweetheart neckline, roushed bodice, and detailed skirt are still possible. Maybe a closer fitting a-line instead of a ballgown.

Lowell14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5c3a0d2b-6641-46bf-b287-e5a4a9064cd8Post:d6a98aef-243c-4e30-b989-8ae90ff5fbe1">Re: not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]It looks a little elaborate for a city hall wedding, to be honest. Maybe something a little less full? Or something tea-length?
Posted by musicalcanadianbride[/QUOTE]

Will look at tea length dresses. Sadly, they arent big sellers where i live. Most shops have 1 or 2 dresses. Will also look at a dresses with a less full skirt. The A-line dresses i tried didnt do anything for my shape. with try a few more dresses. May get the courage to rock the full skirt but will try other options too :)

Lowell14

http://www.weddingshoppeinc.com/pr/Voyage-by-Mori-Lee-6716/36245 this is the tea length dress that one shop has. it would cut me off in the wrong spot i think...

ccogan

I'm going to disagree with other's and say to wear whatever you want! Even though you are getting married at city hall, you are still having a traditional reception. It is a more formal dress than others out there. However, this is your day, and you get to wear what you want. I say don't compromise if that dress is "the one."

MayDay513

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:5c3a0d2b-6641-46bf-b287-e5a4a9064cd8Post:d5978a6e-8bdb-4aea-a6a8-fd30acf6979d">Re: not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to disagree with other's and say to wear whatever you want! Even though you are getting married at city hall, you are still having a traditional reception. It is a more formal dress than others out there. However, this is your day, and you get to wear what you want. I say don't compromise if that dress is "the one."
Posted by ccogan[/QUOTE]

I agree with ccogan. Part of me thinks you can still wear what makes you feel beautiful. But the other posters make good points about location, time etc.

kks4471

I actually think it's fine to wear your original dress to city hall, BUT, I think your FI needs to match your level of formality.  Your original dress looks too formal for what your FI wants to wear.  Keep looking for simple, less elaborate dresses, if that's what style and formality you're going for.

Lowell14

FI has just told me he is going to wear a suit and tie. He didn't want to wear a tux or morning suit which is what grooms usually wear to weddings in the Ireland which is were we are getting married. Does a suit compliment my choice in dress for city hall? : the city hall is actually 100 years old and is a beautiful building.

winelover123

I think a suit would look lovely with your original dress. Honestly, I give the bride and groom a pass when it comes to matching the formality of their wedding because they tend to be dressed more formal than the guests. So long as your FI isn't wearing khakis and a polo, I think your original dress will be fine.

Giaspo

I agree with the latter group of ladies. I think your gown is very pretty and fits a city wedding at a boutique hotel. If your FI wears a suit, that works too. It's your first wedding and hopefully you can experience it for what it is. Enjoy!

bunni727

FI and I each picked our own attire, with no idea what the other was wearing. He wore a tux, and I wore a tea-length dress, so the exact mis-matched formality you have, but reversed.

If you love your dress, wear it anyway. Even if it is too formal, it's a completely victimless crime.

If you are interested in tea-length, you need to be very confident and ready to commit to ordering one, since bridal stores don't keep many in stock. I tried on the one you linked, and hated it. The flowers just looked so much like something I would doodle in my notebook, and it was the only one most of the shops I went to carried. This one from DB is beautiful and more sophisticated: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Cap-Sleeve-Wedding-Dress-with-Illusion-Neckline-CMK513_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Short.

jlfesf

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5c3a0d2b-6641-46bf-b287-e5a4a9064cd8Post:68b67aed-158d-4f0a-b92f-647a0a13f084">Re: not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]FI and I each picked our own attire, with no idea what the other was wearing. He wore a tux, and I wore a tea-length dress, so the exact mis-matched formality you have, but reversed. If you love your dress, wear it anyway. Even if it is too formal, it's a completely victimless crime. If you are interested in tea-length, you need to be very confident and ready to commit to ordering one, since bridal stores don't keep many in stock. I tried on the one you linked, and hated it. The flowers just looked so much like something I would doodle in my notebook, and it was the only one most of the shops I went to carried. This one from DB is beautiful and more sophisticated: <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Cap-Sleeve-Wedding-Dress-with-Illusion-Neckline-CMK513_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Short." rel="nofollow">http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Cap-Sleeve-Wedding-Dress-with-Illusion-Neckline-CMK513_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Short.</a>
Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]



This is my dress! I love it! Our wedding ceremony and reception are going to be outside, so less formal. FI is wearing a suit.

Lowell14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5c3a0d2b-6641-46bf-b287-e5a4a9064cd8Post:68b67aed-158d-4f0a-b92f-647a0a13f084">Re: not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE] This one from DB is beautiful and more sophisticated: <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Cap-Sleeve-Wedding-Dress-with-Illusion-Neckline-CMK513_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Short." rel="nofollow">http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Cap-Sleeve-Wedding-Dress-with-Illusion-Neckline-CMK513_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Silhouette-Short.</a>
Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

This is one of the dresses that my friend has her heart set on trying in May. she is getting married 2 weeks before me. Its a beautiful dress though :)

makemom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_not-sure-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:5c3a0d2b-6641-46bf-b287-e5a4a9064cd8Post:57eb28e4-e784-465e-b759-8f067ab14358">Re: not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]<a href="http://www.weddingshoppeinc.com/pr/Voyage-by-Mori-Lee-6716/36245" rel="nofollow">http://www.weddingshoppeinc.com/pr/Voyage-by-Mori-Lee-6716/36245</a> this is the tea length dress that one shop has. it would cut me off in the wrong spot i think...
Posted by leahjwatts[/QUOTE]

<div>Have you tried this dress on? </div><div>
</div><div>It has a lot of the elements of the original dress, but is less formal with the tea length. I loved the look!</div><div>
</div>

Lowell14

I haven't yet. Am thinking of going in to try it just to make sure. I just feel bad that I keep changing my mind : I love my dress but had originally thought I wanted a tea length dress... This website also does simple tea length dresses but you can't try them on until you get it in the mail... http://www.honeypieboutique.co.uk/ourshop/cat_23055350sWeddingDresses.html It's one simple pattern with a few variations