Soul Searching for Runners (long-ish)

choagie42

Leave it to me to turn something as beautifully simple as running into an existential crisis, but I have a question for the runners out there.  As you know my half is in a month.  It is my first and very possibly last half (if my orthopedic surgeon is to be believed) so I may only get one shot at this.  I'm a very competitive person by nature and have set a goal for myself of finishing in under 2 hours, which I am on pace for currently.

When my fiance learned this was maybe my only half, he signed up too because he said "I always thought we'd run one together at some point."  But he's never been a big runner (especially long distance), so I'm ahead of him training wise.  The last few runs we've done together (we tend to train apart), he's been completely gassed after about 4 miles at my pace.

So here's my question/catch 22:  Would you personally slow your pace to have the experience of running the half together (side note: I've been making a concerted effort to be more "together" oriented, as I'm a super independent person naturally), even if it means ditching the goal you set for yourself?  Or would you run together for as long as he could hang then drop him like a bad habit?  If I ditch him I'll feel a little guilty, but if I slow down I fear I'll be disappointed in myself in that whole "I'm not the type of woman who sacrifices her own goals for a man" feminist kind of way!  I'm leaning one way but want some unbiased opinions...

I'll definitely have a conversation about it with him either way, I'm just curious what you other fine ladies would do in my (running) shoes!

TIA!

lovelyheather

I would probably just run my own pace.  I feel like my FI would understand that I had been putting in miles and miles of training and only have one opportunity to do my best. 

I've pretty much talked FI into running a 5K while we are on our honeymoon (that is why people go to Hawaii, right?).  I told FI that I would just run at whatever pace was comfortable for him.  He was super surprised that I wasn't going to run at my best pace.  I just figure it is a pretty short race, I run 5ks all the time, why not take one day off to run together.  Plus it is our honeymoon so we probably should be spending time together.  If it was anything longer, I'd be running at my own pace. 

I also agree with Kwith's advice about running at your regular pace and pain.  If I try to run slower, I always end up extra sore.  It really throws off my rhythm. 

At the 5k I run with my friend every year, I just take off my chip when I cross the line then I circle back to run with her/cheer her on for the last little bit.  As kwith says, that could be another option. 

Giaspo

I agree with Kwith.  You've got to run your own pace.  I've left people at the bathrooms, water stops and on the side of the road and don't feel bad.  Just talk about it ahead of time and explain your feelings - I am sure he will understand! 

I'm more concerned about this:  It is my first and very possibly last half (if my orthopedic surgeon is to be believed) so I may only get one shot at this.  Are you 100% sure?  What exactly are your hip issues?  I've been wanting to reach out and ask you since your post last week. 

Have you seen another doctor?  I had a doctor once who told me I'd "never run again" and chased me out of the office with crutches, an air cast and surgery.  It was ridiculous.  I found another doc who "got it" and it was an entirely different story. 

It kills me that you may not be able to continue to run.  :-(

AdeleDazeem

I would run at my own pace.

I don't know if this is a fair take on it, but this half marathon is a goal that you've had for yourself for a long time.  Suddenly, your husband springs on you that he wants to run with you, too.  You have one shot at this and I don't think it's selfish of you to run it for you.  I almost think it's a bit selfish of him to make this about his wants.

Maybe that's unfair of me, but if the roles were reversed and my husband had one shot at it, I'd most definitely give him a kiss and tell him to run to his heart's content and enjoy the moment.

choagie42

thanks so much ladies, this confirms what I was thinking.  But sometimes when you're so close to it it's hard to get much perspective.  I know he'll be fine with it as long as we discuss it beforehand (he's definitely the more patient and understanding one in this relationship).  I also like the bit about running the end with him and will definitely pitch that as an option.  NEVER would've thought of that, honestly!

giaspo - apparently I have a FAI (femoroascetabular impingement) in my R hip.  Essentially ball of my femur is jagged on one side and is causing some rubbing and pain.  I also have runner's knee (patellofemoral) in my L knee.  my ortho said after the half i need to cut back to 10 miles per week, which sounds super restrictive and if i'm being honest, unlikely to happen.  but i've done some research about stretches and strengthening, and they seem to be helping quite a bit.  I have less soreness in my hip and feel like i'm getting stronger.  so maybe it won't be the end of the road for me after all!!  i appreciate the input (esp about getting a second opinion), and feel free to throw any advice you may have my way, i'm all ears!

choagie42

p.s., thank you to everyone for indulging my neuroses.  i truly love all the input from the ladies on here... such a supportive bunch!