Concerned Bridesmaid - MOH has not planned bachelorette yet!

TinyDancer06

Hi all!
One of my very dear friends is getting married in August.  She's been engaged now since October 2011.  I reached out to the MOH in January to begin brainstorming ideas for the bachelorette.  After being in 7 weddings (and have gone to countless), I know what it takes to coordinate a bachelorette party.  Preliminary brainstorming ideas we came up with included doing a weekend away, etc.  I've reached out to the MOH multiple times over the past couple of months, most recently the first week of this month.  She said she was having some issues with her car, but she'd get on it asap.  I responded with that the clock is ticking to put something together, the bride's time between now and August is limited (the bride will be out of the country, there's Memorial Day, Fourth of July, etc.), and we need to figure out what we're doing and when since people are starting to make plans for the summer, people need to budget, etc. I then mentioned (not the first time) to please let me know how I can help out, and that whatever she needs me to do or take on, to ask.  I am more than willing to do whatever I need to.  She never responded back to my email. 

We're now approaching the end of April, and still nothing has been planned.  I'm not only concerned about coming up with money that I'll need to contribute, but I also want to make sure that something isn't slapped together last minute and that we do something that the bride wants; again the bride is one of my very best friends. I do not want to see her be disappointed!

What should my next steps be from here?  I'm afraid to confront the bride because I don't want to upset her, but at the same time, I don't want her to be disappointed.  I also don't want to step over the toes of the MOH.  However, we've had a lot of time to put something together, and I'm getting anxious!

missfrodo

Has MOH volunteered to plan the bach, or did you just asssume that as MOH she would be in charge?  

If you are so concerned about the bachelorette party, I would go ahead and make plans--clearing a date with the bride first--and then fill everybody in on what you have planned.  If you do plan something extravagant like a weekend away, please understand that not everyone may be able to afford to attend or be able to take that time off from work.  Bach parties don't have to be complicated, they can be as simple as a night out or in with the girls, whatever fits the bride's personality (some women love to party, others would be more at home renting some movies and eating junk food with their best buds).  

Don't whine to the bride that her MOH isn't planning enough.  It's not her responsibilty to throw the bride any parties.  

It's wonderful that you want to do something special for your friend, and I'm sure that she will love whatever you have in mind for her!

TinyDancer06

Yes, the MOH has offered to run the charge with it.  Both the MOH and I proposed an idea to the bride back in early winter (staying somewhere local for a night or two, horseback riding, going to get our nails done, nice dinner and going out), and the bride was really excited about the whole idea.  I do know that she wants to do something girly.  You are right that a lot would not be able to afford it, which at this point, doesn't afford people a lot of time to save extra money for something like that.  There are certainly other alternatives that would be cheaper, and more people can go.  I guess I'm frustrated that the MOH has offered to run and plan this, proposed our idea to the bride, and nothing has been done. 

Should I still propose a date and start putting something together?

MairePoppy

Please don't drag the bride into this. You can get the ball rolling in a tactful manner.

You have 4 months, which is plenty of time to plan a BP. First get some dates from the bride. Then call around and get prices for horseback riding, mani-pedis,  and hotels. If you can plan something that doesn't necessitate a hotel stay, that's better. There may be friends who want to participate without staying overnight. When you have all the information put together, call the MOH. 

erinlin25

do not complain to the bride;  help the MOH and ask the bride for a list of potential dates she is available and a guest list with contact info.  Let MOH know dates/guest list and offer to help coordinate since she is busy right now.  But I will say that you can also slow your roll.  The wedding is in August, you have plenty of time and will annoy the sh1t out of MOH if you bug her daily.  Its ok that she is not thiking of her friends wedding every day.  She said she will handle it, let her handle it. 

My bach party is in 3 weeks--they just started planning details about 2 weeks ago.  I have no worries that they can handle it and they did not need 4 months to plan it.  

Uberoom12

If you are set that you want to go horseback riding, staying at a hotel and the whole shebang; then do it yourself, call some places get quotations for some dates and then show this to the MOH.

But if there is some doubts about how much is too much, then you still have a lot of time to plan something more near home, but equally exiting. Don´t just think about you. Think of the other people that may attend to the BP. The more the merrier.

Do not stress out for something that will not happen in a long time.