Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower - How Big is too Big?

So I asked my sister for the bridal shower guest list and she eventually came to me last month with a list of 50 people. Her wedding is 150-60, so some of them aren't even invited to the wedding. We already had to argument about it being rude to invite people to a gift-giving party when clearly they will not be attending the actual celebration. S has decided that since our grandmother thinks it's ok to invite them, it is. So fine, I won't worry about that because the onus is on her.
I'm wondering if can tell her to cut the list based on the number of people. 50 just seems like a lot for a shower for me. But, I'm also the type of person who thinks that 150 people would be overwhelming for a wedding. I can fit 50 in the venue, and with finger sandwiches etc I can feed them... I just think it will be too many people.
So Q: Is 50 people too much for a shower?

Re: Bridal Shower - How Big is too Big?

  • It is rude to ask people to come give a gift and then not invite those people to the event they are giving a gift for. I would refuse to host this, but that's me. You need to tell her how many you can afford to host, and she needs to cut her number down if 50 is too many for you.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • Thank you both for you advice. I wasn't sure how much I was supposed to weigh what she wanted against what I think would be better (and more polite).

    I'll figure out a way to tame down the number based on who is invited the wedding and who I know will actual show up. I'm just concerned that she'll feel upset that I didn't invite some of her "friends" from school that I think will just bring drama.
  • You are in the right here, but I would just mention that I don't think 50 is too many people for a shower.  Most likely not everyone would be able to come anyway.
  • I don't think you should invite people who aren't invited to the wedding. However, I was a MOH in March and the shower we (the bridal party) threw together, ended up having a guest list of 70+ invites. Only 26 people showed up, (this definitely made it harder to plan the event, venue/ catering wise).
  • I agree that it is RUDE to invite people to the shower that are not invited to the wedding.  However, my fiance and I both have huge families and since I am only having 1 shower, my guest list is right at 50.   But the ladies that are hosting mine have all had huge showers too so they were not concerned... one of them even invited 100 guests to her baby shower! Now that to me was excessive!
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