Polite way of asking gifts to be shipped rather than brought to the wedding?

KekelaNikol

Hello... newbie here... we currently live in NJ but are getting married in my hometown in CA. All of my family and the great majority of the guests are all from CA.  We would rather have people who are going to purchase things off our registry to have them shipped to our home address in NJ, and only small gifts and gift cards, etc brought to the wedding. That way we don't have to pay to have the gifts shipped home. Is there a polite way to ask this? How do we do this... on our wedding website? Any thoughts or ideas?? Thanks!

HobokensFury

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_polite-way-of-asking-gifts-to-be-shipped-rather-than-brought-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:1ae53ee7-fdad-4d94-aa58-2c8bd1021955Post:6f11f911-3763-4ccd-a127-4101f2e6d873">Polite way of asking gifts to be shipped rather than brought to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello... newbie here... we currently live in NJ but are getting married in my hometown in CA. All of my family and the great majority of the guests are all from CA.  We would rather have people who are going to purchase things off our registry to have them shipped to our home address in NJ, and only small gifts and gift cards, etc brought to the wedding. That way we don't have to pay to have the gifts shipped home. Is there a polite way to ask this? How do we do this... on our wedding website? Any thoughts or ideas?? Thanks!
Posted by KekelaNikol[/QUOTE]

Honestly there is no polite way to do this.  It's the bride and groom's responsibility to ship their gifts.  If someone asks you can tell them but that's abot it.  Do not post it on your website.

jessicabessica

You cannot make this request.  It is the bride and groom's responsibility to transport or ship gifts they receive.  

However, many people will likely understand the situation, and it is common to ship gifts beforehand anyway, rather than bringing them to the reception.  Make sure you put your NJ address in your registry suggested ship to address.  I think many people will ship the gifts without you saying anything, and you don't say anything otherwise.  It's rude to dictate how people give you gifts.

AdeleDazeem

It's your responsibility to get your gifts home, not your guests.  Don't pass the payment to them because you don't want to pay for it.  They already spent money on you in the form of a gift and attending your wedding.  Now you do your part and get their gifts home.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_polite-way-of-asking-gifts-to-be-shipped-rather-than-brought-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:1ae53ee7-fdad-4d94-aa58-2c8bd1021955Post:9846a78d-8f2e-4aa6-93c9-045395a2bc42">Re: Polite way of asking gifts to be shipped rather than brought to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's your responsibility to get your gifts home, not your guests.  Don't pass the payment to them because you don't want to pay for it.  They already spent money on you in the form of a gift and attending your wedding.  Now you do your part and get their gifts home.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

<div>this</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I'm happy to say for our OOT wedding 90% of the people gave money or sent the gift to our home without prompting.  We did get a few gifts we just had shipped.  NBD.  We 100% thought it was OUR responsibility to get them to our home, not the guests.</div>

orangjul

We're having a destination wedding and none of the guests are from the state we are having the wedding in.  We figured it would be more of a hassle for them to haul their gifts on a plane than to ship them.  We also registered at Amazon.com, so almost everything on our registry has free shipping available.  I put a note on our website to not bring gifts to the wedding and I don't feel that it was rude at all.  Our guests will understand.  

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_polite-way-of-asking-gifts-to-be-shipped-rather-than-brought-to-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:1ae53ee7-fdad-4d94-aa58-2c8bd1021955Post:00f2a280-12d4-4028-90f0-37a091759a36">Re: Polite way of asking gifts to be shipped rather than brought to the wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're having a destination wedding and none of the guests are from the state we are having the wedding in.  We figured it would be more of a hassle for them to haul their gifts on a plane than to ship them.  We also registered at Amazon.com, so almost everything on our registry has free shipping available.  I put a note on our website to not bring gifts to the wedding and I don't feel that it was rude at all.  Our guests will understand.  
Posted by orangjul[/QUOTE]

::bangs head against the wall::

Your situation is no different than the OP's and our advice would be exactly the same to you.  It's rude, no matter.

KekelaNikol

Thanks for the advice. We will ship whatever is brought to the wedding and put no mention on the website. Most of our family and friends know we live across the country, so hopefully most who buy things off the registry have them shipped to us and not to them. Thanks again!